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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my sister is tight?

369 replies

BatsHitKrazee · 09/10/2016 08:37

I have two sisters - we are all close in age.

My younger sister is 29 , I'm 30 and my older sister is 33.

My younger sister and I live at home with our parents whereas my older sister has a family of her own with her husband .

At Christmas , myself and my younger sister buy our two nieces Christmas presents costing around £15-£20.

My parents (their grandparents) also spend around £20 each on them but they don't buy for my older sister or her husband.

My older sister refuses to buy for us two other sisters even though we buy her children !

Instead , she buys a "family" present like a hamper or something for around £30-£40 for us and my parents to share.

My mum has tried asking my older sister to give us an actual present or some money but older sister ignores her and buys a family gift.

WIBU to give older sister plenty of notice and ask her nicely if she could get me and my sister something specific this year?

Or should we cut back on what we spend on our nieces?

I feel it's unfair that she isn't buying us a gift but we are buying for her children !

OP posts:
HoneyDragon · 09/10/2016 09:10

So is a reverse?

Just tell your sisters not to bother buying for your dds. Don't bring your mum into it any further.

RhiWrites · 09/10/2016 09:10

Oh Bats, this whole thread seems bats to me! In my family adults get presents because they're people and we love them.

I'd feel so sad if everyone got presents for my sisters' children only.

Christmas isn't just for children. It's for everyone. But I don't think you can change your sister. Do the other adults (you other sister, your parents) give presents to each other?

ALemonyPea · 09/10/2016 09:10

I hate reverse threads. What's the point?

trixymalixy · 09/10/2016 09:11

Bloody hell, you'd really punish your nieces because your sister doesn't give you the present you want for Christmas?

You have some serious growing up to do.

trixymalixy · 09/10/2016 09:11

Oops just seen update!

RestlessTraveller · 09/10/2016 09:12

I don't understand families where the adults don't buy gifts for each other. Christmas and birthdays aren't just for kids, then again there is no-one under 33 in our family, unless you count the dogs!

That being said you do sound a bit grabby, gifting isn't about what you get back.

pinkdelight · 09/10/2016 09:12

You're outrageous. They're YOUR nieces. That's why you buy gifts for them. They are, you know, individual human beings. You're not getting anything for your sister. And no way should she get anything for you, least of all "some money to go shopping in the Christmas sales". FFS, you need to grow up.

pinkdelight · 09/10/2016 09:13

Ah, didn't see update. Bollocks to this. Hate reverses.

StarlingMurmuration · 09/10/2016 09:13

When I still lived at home and my brother lived with his wife and three kids (two of which were step children), I bought big presents for the kids and token presents for the adults (spending say £20 per child, £5-10 per adult, so total spend of £70-80), while they bought me an extra big present (say £35). It seemed like a fair exchange to me - you can't be too tit-for-tat about monetary value of presents at Xmas.

StarlingMurmuration · 09/10/2016 09:14

Balls, didn't see that this is a reverse.

Imchangingmyname · 09/10/2016 09:15

Why do a reverse?! Did you need some attention this morning. Definitely similar to your sister's.

FasterThanASnakeAndAMongoose · 09/10/2016 09:15

On your logic, if she had 3 kids and you only had 2, would you only buy presents for 2 of her kids?

You sound very grabby and immature. Grow up.

SharkBastard · 09/10/2016 09:16

We don't buy for adults at Christmas other than my older sister. I have 7 nieces and 1 nephew, so we spend on them which is quite a bit of money.

My eldest sister doesn't have children so I buy her a present and my mum a present. It'd cost the bloody earth if we bought for adults too!

Your conversation should be fun! Good luck

FasterThanASnakeAndAMongoose · 09/10/2016 09:17

Oh it's a reverse. Well then SIBU.

user1471461436 · 09/10/2016 09:17

I am in a similar situation to your sister (except my siblings are pleasant) and buy my siblings small items in the sale. They may be worth £20 but actually cost closer to £5, think hats and scarf sets bought in July. Then they get something homemade like biscuits in cellophane.... In my family all adults get small gifts but everybody gets a gift. The children get spoiled rotten by all. However, I do have (older!!!) cousins who refer to themselves as if they are in MY childrens generation and expected the same. I buy them fuck all now - I hope your sister does the same

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/10/2016 09:18

So glad it's a reverse. Pre sil, brother and I exchanged gifts. Then that stopped the year she came on the scene. I bought them both lovely and expensive gifts and we got nothing. The next year we bought token gifts and again got nothing. Sil sees no value in gifts apart from giving to the children even though neither one of us had children at the time. It was very hurtful and I found it really difficult to give them a wedding present as they got married after the second Christmas as I felt as though we'd already given the gift. On the odd occasion we spend Christmas together, sil gets us a token gift - nothing thoughtful either and probably bought the day before. Sil hasn't worked for years and way before child came along so she does the buying. TBH I wish they didn't bother to buy the cheap £5 knitted gloves. It's more hurtful then no present.

Whowouldfardelsbear · 09/10/2016 09:18

Just buy them an individual put of jam each

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 09/10/2016 09:18

I hate reverse threads too.

Why didn't you just start it from your own perspective? Confused

Soubriquet · 09/10/2016 09:19

Just tell them you are no longer buying any adult presents

No more family hamper

RestlessTraveller · 09/10/2016 09:19

Anyme else get ready-directed to a porn site from this thread?

RestlessTraveller · 09/10/2016 09:19

*Anyone

BillThePony · 09/10/2016 09:21

Wow you sound extremely childish.

BewtySkoolDropowt · 09/10/2016 09:22

Oh you poor thing, money must be really right before you have to stay at home with your parents.

Maybe (you might not have considered this), with a whole house to pay for as well as a husband and children to buy for, money is tight for them too?

And.. well.. you don't actually buy her anything. She is not her children and to be honest probably has no need for whatever you spend £15 on.

NerrSnerr · 09/10/2016 09:22

You can't be real, no one is that openly greedy. Seriously, you're a grown adult. It really seems like you need to move out and find out what being an adult is like.

Peanutandphoenix · 09/10/2016 09:22

Are you for real your a 30 year old over grown child complaining about a lack of a Christmas present from your sister so you want to take it out on her children by acting like a spoilt brat and not getting them anything I think you need to take a long hard look in the mirror maybe then you'll realise who is being the tight one here and it's certainly not your sister who has a house to run and bills to pay unlike you who still lives with mummy and daddy do you also still sleep in a single bed with all your teddies and does mummy still have to read you a bedtime story and leave a nightlight on for you and all I think it's high time you moved out and had a taste of the real world where things are hard and let your mum and dad enjoy their lives and the peace and quiet. I'm 26 and I live on my own. My sister never bought me a Christmas present last year because she didn't have the money for it but you don't hear me complaining about the fact that I am still waiting for my Christmas present but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to buy her a Christmas present this year because I never got one last year or even refuse to buy my 3 year old niece a present because of it because I know how to be a grown up about trivial things like Christmas presents.