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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my sister is tight?

369 replies

BatsHitKrazee · 09/10/2016 08:37

I have two sisters - we are all close in age.

My younger sister is 29 , I'm 30 and my older sister is 33.

My younger sister and I live at home with our parents whereas my older sister has a family of her own with her husband .

At Christmas , myself and my younger sister buy our two nieces Christmas presents costing around £15-£20.

My parents (their grandparents) also spend around £20 each on them but they don't buy for my older sister or her husband.

My older sister refuses to buy for us two other sisters even though we buy her children !

Instead , she buys a "family" present like a hamper or something for around £30-£40 for us and my parents to share.

My mum has tried asking my older sister to give us an actual present or some money but older sister ignores her and buys a family gift.

WIBU to give older sister plenty of notice and ask her nicely if she could get me and my sister something specific this year?

Or should we cut back on what we spend on our nieces?

I feel it's unfair that she isn't buying us a gift but we are buying for her children !

OP posts:
Amethyst81 · 09/10/2016 17:27

Your sister has DC and various bills to pay therefore will find Xmas really expensive. You don't have those things so will have loads of disposable income compared to her. Plus its normal to spend more on kids rather than adults. I dont think many people will agree with you here and you sound very childish.

HoneyDragon · 09/10/2016 17:29

I just said up there ^ MNHQ are nice about them if it's a genuine goof by the op. Otherwise it's a deletion and for repeat offenders a ban.

Reverse threads are against the site rules, as it comes under posting to mislead. We always pull up posters who we catch doing it, although we might not ban them if we think they've just made a bad judgement call in posting it.

Amethyst81 · 09/10/2016 17:30

Oops didn't realise it was a reverse Blush

loobyloo1234 · 09/10/2016 17:30

If it were not a Reverse Thread and OP had just spoken as herself I'm guessing it would be similar to this: (for the benefit of anyone who is unable to read a few pages of something)

I am 33, my younger sisters are 29 and 30. They both live at home with my parents probably because they can't afford to move out and I live with my DH and 2 DD's

At Christmas, my 2 sisters buy our two children Christmas presents costing around £15-£20 each which my DD's are very grateful for My parents also buy my DD presents but nothing for me nor my DH

In return I buy a hamper for my two sisters and my parents, costing about £30-40 filled with food that they can probably buy themselves and because I can't be bothered to buy them something that might mean something to them

My mum has suggested that it would be nice to buy my sisters an actual present as they do not want a hamper but I ignore this and instead continue buying them a hamper

AIBU

SarcasmMode · 09/10/2016 17:32

Thanks Honey (feel weird saying that) wasn't sure if they had a specific stance on it.

In that case op made a genuine mistake and I doubt she'll repeat.

Original poster
BatsHitKrazee · 09/10/2016 17:38

I will certainly not repeat after some of the abuse comments on here ! Grin

OP posts:
TheAnswerIsYes · 09/10/2016 17:40

Your sisters don't give you a give so I wouldn't give them one either. They do give to your children so I would send them a small gift each from your kids.

One of my SILs (the one I like) only gives presents to DS and in return we usually send her a small item (a scarf or bracelet or similar) and some tat covered in glitter a nice item that he has made, which she is usually delighted with (at least she tells DS she is).

Memoires · 09/10/2016 17:50

I was given a hamper last Xmas - it was so lovely, I nearly cried. Full of things I look at but don't buy, yummy biscuits, special jam, lovely crackers, smelly cheese, naice ham! Even a meringuey thing and a large square of Xmas cake and 3 little bottles of desert wine. Oh it was fab.

TaliDiNozzo · 09/10/2016 17:52

People need to pack the abuse in right now. The OP didn't know reverse threads are hated here, she has apologised repeatedly.

What also needs to stop are the ridiculous comments about the OP's sisters still living at home. Can't remember the name of the person, but someone called it 'tragic'. It's not tragic, it's a necessity in some areas of the country. Low wage + high rent = no way of living out of the family home. And, you know, some adult children and parents actually like living together. There is fuck all wrong with that. My best friend is in that situation out of choice and she is very happy. She is in her early 30s. People need to stop so readily judging others for life choices and circumstances they know nothing about.

OP, I would reduce the size of the hamper and get £10 vouchers for your sisters. Although the awful attitude of your family would have me inclined to buy nothing for any of them, I'm also not suggesting continuing to buy something you know someone doesn't want.

loobyloo1234 · 09/10/2016 17:54

I think the point is though, the OP's sisters aren't interested in a hamper. Some people just aren't

In all seriousness, if I were you OP, I would just get my sisters a £10 voucher for somewhere or do the buy 2 get one free thing in Boots like PP suggested Smile And get your DD to make them a card or something similar. I would genuinely love that as a Aunty to 4 maybe thats just me though

TaterTots · 09/10/2016 17:57

People need to pack the abuse in right now. The OP didn't know reverse threads are hated here, she has apologised repeatedly.

You do realise the irony of posting the 119th comment along the lines of 'enough comments about the reverse now!'?

gillybeanz · 09/10/2016 17:58

30 and still at home ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,.
A grown woman actually trying to control another grown woman's present habits. I've heard it all now.
You'd cut back on nieces because you feel ENTITLED to a present, poor kids deserve a better auntie imo.

TaliDiNozzo · 09/10/2016 18:01

TaterTots - if people stopped abusing the OP there would be no need to state that for the 119th time.

gillybeanz - what exactly is funny about that?

TaterTots · 09/10/2016 18:02

'Abuse' is an unnecessarily strong word.

RandomDent · 09/10/2016 18:03

Reverse threads are not against talk guidelines. OP don't apologise because some people have seen their arse about it. You handled the issue well at lunch. :)

QueenLizIII · 09/10/2016 18:04

Gillybeanz ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Read the fucking thread.

HoneyDragon · 09/10/2016 18:10

Reverse threads are against talk guidelines

But so are personal attacks, which the op should not be getting for making a mistake.

QueenLizIII · 09/10/2016 18:12

Ive reported it.

Its just silly.

People are coming on and speaking to the op as the sister still after only reading the first post.

Original poster
BatsHitKrazee · 09/10/2016 18:13

If calling someone a dickhead is not abuse then what is ? Confused

OP posts:
TaliDiNozzo · 09/10/2016 18:14

TaterTots - you are of course entitled to your opinion on that. I obviously disagree but then I'm entitled to my opinion too.

Whatever you want to call it, it's been over the top and unnecessary to begin with.

HoneyDragon · 09/10/2016 18:16

If calling someone a dickhead is not abuse then what is

Calling them Hun. Wink

DontMindMe1 · 09/10/2016 19:19

Why not just say you'll return the favour when they have kids?

Fair is fair after all....and get the kids to make home made card/presents for them. That should shut them up. They can't refuse a present from a child!

Ohdearducks · 09/10/2016 20:41

Cancel that fucking cheque.

Memoires · 09/10/2016 23:18

The hamper is really for your parents, isn't it? So I would continue doing it to the same sort of price, and get the children some nice glittery shit, card, maybe clay and paints, and they can make things for your sisters. That's fair, surely?

bumsexatthebingo · 09/10/2016 23:48

OK just seen it's a reverse but actually while I know Christmas is mainly for the kids I think the OP could put a bit more effort in with presents.
My sister absolutely spoils my kids and I always try and get her a really nice gift because she is single with no kids and we only have her to buy for whereas she gets tons for the kids and always a little something for me and dh as well. I often take her out for a nice meal or something as I'm aware it's a bit one sided.

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