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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my sister is tight?

369 replies

BatsHitKrazee · 09/10/2016 08:37

I have two sisters - we are all close in age.

My younger sister is 29 , I'm 30 and my older sister is 33.

My younger sister and I live at home with our parents whereas my older sister has a family of her own with her husband .

At Christmas , myself and my younger sister buy our two nieces Christmas presents costing around £15-£20.

My parents (their grandparents) also spend around £20 each on them but they don't buy for my older sister or her husband.

My older sister refuses to buy for us two other sisters even though we buy her children !

Instead , she buys a "family" present like a hamper or something for around £30-£40 for us and my parents to share.

My mum has tried asking my older sister to give us an actual present or some money but older sister ignores her and buys a family gift.

WIBU to give older sister plenty of notice and ask her nicely if she could get me and my sister something specific this year?

Or should we cut back on what we spend on our nieces?

I feel it's unfair that she isn't buying us a gift but we are buying for her children !

OP posts:
Graceflorrick · 09/10/2016 09:04

Op, I spend at least £50 on my DN and DN and I have my own home and DC. What you're spending seems low given your circumstances.

DeathStare · 09/10/2016 09:04

OP: Is my sister being tight?
The entire world: No you are.
OP: I still think my sister is being tight.

You, your younger sister and your parents get HER nothing. She gets you a shared present. And you think she is tight! Get a grip.

It's nice enough but I'd prefer some money to go shopping in the Christmas sales

Well the problem with presents is you don't get to pick them. Most older children realise that and just suck it up. Someone of 30 really should have realised it. Maybe her kids hate the presents you buy them?

And you have some nerve expecting the sister you buy nothing for to pay for you sales shopping! Even if you did buy her a Christmas present that would be grabby.

KikisDeliveryService · 09/10/2016 09:04

But you don't buy your older sister anything, and by the sounds of it she receives nothing at all from her closest family members. Perhaps she would also like money to go shopping in the January sales?

Jugglingallthebollocks · 09/10/2016 09:04

I didn't get a single present last Xmas (not even a pair of socks) despite buying lots for all the other adults in my life. However, they in return bought for my kids. That's the way it goes.

Whowouldfardelsbear · 09/10/2016 09:04

How much money do you think would be reasonable for her to give you? Would you be happy with a fiver? Would it really make your sales shopping so much better?

WatchingFromTheWings · 09/10/2016 09:04

You sound about 12. Hmm

Christmas is for the kids. Anyone over 18 in mine and my DP family gets a bottle of wine or some beer. We're not tight but we have 4 nieces and nephews and 3 kids ourselves we'd rather spend on.

Whowouldfardelsbear · 09/10/2016 09:04

Though I call reverse on this too.

Drquin · 09/10/2016 09:04

Look, it doesn't matter whether you think Christmas is for kids or not, or don't buy adult presents.
(As an extended family, we buy equally for everyone .... but that's not the point.)

The point is, OP, you choose who to buy presents for - based on your budget, your relationship and your desire to hand over a gift which will hopefully be appreciated by the recipient.
Your sister has the right to do the same.

If it's your particular brand of honesty, by all means tell her you don't like jam and coffee.
If she asks for ideas for Christmas presents, then tell her clothes / voucher for sales etc
But she's giving you a perfectly reasonable gift .... you just don't like it. Whether you tell her that honestly, depends on your relationship with her Confused

MrsSecker · 09/10/2016 09:05

Are you for real?! You're a grown adult!

BabyGanoush · 09/10/2016 09:05

You're the tight one, OP

Starryeyed16 · 09/10/2016 09:06

Wow just wow, I gave what I can afford to my siblings and parents but I have a house to run and three little children who require Christmas presents. Personally to me Christmas is about children and they are my priority and rightly so they are my nuclear family so they get the most then il spent more on nieces and whatever left for my DB who doesn't have kids one auntie and my parents. Often me and my own DH spent barely anything on each other. You've got to think your DSIS has two children to buy for her DH your family and also her DH family.

JenBehavingBadly · 09/10/2016 09:06

If we were having this conversation in RL I'd be cringing inside on your behalf.

Seriously, you're being unreasonable.

You don't buy jack for your sister. Buying presents for kids is what you're meant to do. She gets nothing, buys you all something and you're calling her tight.

I'm embarrassed for you showing yourself up like this.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 09/10/2016 09:07

Fucking hell OP - you're embarrassing yourself. Or you're a troll on a wind-up. One or the other.

Cactuar · 09/10/2016 09:07

What do you buy for your sister as a Christmas gift? And if you don't get her an individual gift why do you expect one from her?

Original poster
BatsHitKrazee · 09/10/2016 09:07

I think I have a general consensus now ! [grin

This is indeed a reverse !

I wanted to gauge opinions before I have this inevitable conversation with my mum around the dinner table today !

Yes my sisters really are this immature !!

OP posts:
user1472419718 · 09/10/2016 09:07

You haven't bought your sister a present. She hasn't bought you a present either.

Therefore if she is tight for not buying you a present, you are equally tight for not buying her one.

My siblings and I are about the same age as you, we don't exchange presents. When we have kids, we probably will buy for them.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 09/10/2016 09:07

You are the tight one not your sister, tight, grabby, ungrateful, mean, selfish. You do not come off well from this op. Your sister does not know you feel because it is not how most people feel, so she obviously thinks more of you, don't let her see that side to you and keep your mouth shut, tell your mother to do the same, you do not ask for presents for anyone, asking for your adult children is especially pathetic

LetsJunglyJumpToIt · 09/10/2016 09:07

No the responses aren't harsh.

Grow up OP. You sound about 12.

LetsJunglyJumpToIt · 09/10/2016 09:08

Oh it's a reverse.

Careforadrink · 09/10/2016 09:08

I'm embarrassed for you

You're the tight one.

HoneyDragon · 09/10/2016 09:08

As for the hamper - she fills it with jams and coffees and biscuits etc. It's nice enough but I'd prefer some money to go shopping in the Christmas sales.

So don't buy your nieces any Christmas presents and enjoy the sales. You're not coming across as a superb Aunty, Sister or daughter at present so stop the pretence once and for all.

Nocabbageinmyeye · 09/10/2016 09:08

Fucking hate reverse threads, you might be more like your sisters than you think

SendARavenToRiverRun · 09/10/2016 09:09

London is very expensive.. I'm sure your sister has found this out by, you know moving out and standing on her own two feet.
To be blunt. You're sounding quite pathetic.
The only response to a gift is a smile and a sincere 'thank you'.
Enjoy the hamper and err grow up.

mygorgeousmilo · 09/10/2016 09:10

Ha! Shock

HKHKHR · 09/10/2016 09:10

YABU