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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect dh to wank in a toilet?

202 replies

BummyMummy77 · 08/10/2016 13:32

We've finally bitten the bullet and are undergoing infertility stuff.

Do has to provide a sperm sample. Which he's fine about.

The problem is we live a long way from the hospital and the sample needs to be nice and fresh. 30 minutes at the longest.

So I've said do should do what most guys do and bash one out in the hospital loo.

He's having none of it. Says its disgusting and we need to stay in a local hotel.

We're totally Saint right now and it would take the place of money set aside to worm and de tick the animals and living in a place with 80% Lymes in ticks this is kind of important.

Am I being insensitive and unreasonable?

Would be much appreciated if females readers could ask their male oh's what they think.

Tia.

OP posts:
Original poster
BummyMummy77 · 08/10/2016 14:51

He's more than happy to do it. It may even be his way of getting to stay in a hotel. He loves hotels. Always puts the bathrobe and slippers on the second we get there and swipes all the little toiletries. Grin

OP posts:
JsOtherHalf · 08/10/2016 14:51

The hospital we had ivf in had what was basically a large cupboard, no windows, etc. for the men to produce their sample in.

I know DH found it uncomfortable.

DixieWishbone · 08/10/2016 14:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

acasualobserver · 08/10/2016 14:52

My Dh had to do samples for vasectomy check up. He did it at home and kept it warm. They always said that was fine.

Thermos flask it is then. Just be careful next time you go for a picnic.

PlayOnWurtz · 08/10/2016 14:52

Only read the op but laughing to myself as we are in the same boat and the sample has to be taken 90mins away from us. Dh struggles under ideal circumstances and is really really stressed about it

I've suggested we go away for the night nearby the clinic or he goes away and knocks one out in comfort. So that's what he's going to do.

The ultimate posh wank

Original poster
BummyMummy77 · 08/10/2016 14:52

Mrs Moggins. Yes. Especially a pain in the ass with a toddler when they decide to crawl out mid poo. Angry

Js- a cupboard?!

OP posts:
Original poster
BummyMummy77 · 08/10/2016 15:00

A casual. - bleurgh. That's fecking RANK! Grin

Playon- I get it I really do but I had to have a vaginal ultrasound recently with ds there having to hold the iPhone for him whilst he watched Peppa Pig so my sympathy isn't huge.

I do realise that I didn't actually have to reach a climax but it was still pretty bloody horrible.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 08/10/2016 15:02

'Wind your neck in expat and go snipe at someone else. Seems to be a theme with you.'

And it seems to be a theme with you, to start thread after thread about his wankish behaviour. Some kind of hobby, I guess.

AverageGayLadAtChristmas · 08/10/2016 15:05

I couldn't do it in a toilet.

MaryTheCanary · 08/10/2016 15:13

All the comments saying "But think of the things women have to put up with in order to get pregnant/produce a baby!" are missing the point. Women are not expected to ORGASM while being poked and prodded. He does have to orgasm. If he finds a toilet a turnoff, he needs somewhere else. I think finding an alternative place is a good idea.

The massive gaps in US toilets are to do with security, apparently. It is intended to make it harder to shoot up or assemble a bomb in there.

MonsterINTHECupboard · 08/10/2016 15:15

On Egg Collection Day, DH had to have 'the most important wank of his life' in the disabled toilet at the hospital. There was a man just outside the door with one of those loud floor cleaners. I was terrified he wouldn't manage it!

woowoowoo · 08/10/2016 15:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
BummyMummy77 · 08/10/2016 15:21

I really do get it but talking to male friends I'm under the impression most of them find it a lot easier to climax than we do.

And dh is can manage it in seconds rather than minutes when needed. I'd love to think it'd because I'm so goddamn sexy but that may not be it. Grin

OP posts:
ragz134 · 08/10/2016 15:22

Offer to give him a blow job in the hospital loo, just make sure he finishes in the pot. If that grosses you out, maybe you are being unreasonable...

Original poster
BummyMummy77 · 08/10/2016 15:23

We'll have ds with us. Not sure he'll appreciate that.

OP posts:
Original poster
BummyMummy77 · 08/10/2016 15:25

Mary - I always wondered why the doors are so awful.

OP posts:
ragz134 · 08/10/2016 15:27

Apologies, didn't see post that DS would be with you, ignore last post!

AverageGayLadAtChristmas · 08/10/2016 15:29

most of them find it a lot easier to climax than we do.

Probably true! But in a toilet? Really?

Mummyoflittledragon · 08/10/2016 15:29

Mary have you had fertility treatment? IVF? Gynalogical operation?

A bit of a wank is nothing. And as op has said, men generally climax a lot easier than women.

MotherKat · 08/10/2016 15:33

Hi OP,
My husband says, youporn on his phone and headphones and he would take one for the team and whack one out in the loo, he reckons your DH being aware that his request really isn't viable, probably isn't as up for the idea of doing the fertility study as you are.

monkeyfacegrace · 08/10/2016 15:35

If you live as rurally as you say, why can't he knock one out in the car in the woods en route?

WheelofPan · 08/10/2016 15:56

I could knock one out stood on a train track with an express looming down on me. You know, just for that added frisson of danger and macho challenge.[proud]

Tell him to get on with it. Or promises to lend a hand.....Smile

Monkeyface26 · 08/10/2016 16:00

I think the point that Chuck and Oldraver were making was that it was only earlier this week you posted about your DH and your MIL, telling us about how unsupported you were. You were upset at how little practical and emotional support you receive and at how hard you have to work physically looking after DC, animals, growing own food etc without recognition.
Fertility treatment is extremely stressful and debilitating and you have been clear that you are not supported at the moment.

ArcheryAnnie · 08/10/2016 16:01

So you are trying to have a child together. You have agreed to host and grow a foetus using the resources of your own body, a process which comes with plenty of real risks and quite a lot of discomfort, which lasts for 9 months with the intense bit, longer if you breastfeed, and which will change you and your body for ever. You will be poked, prodded, strangers will look at your fanny, and if you are in a teaching hospital lots of strangers will look at your fanny. If you are very lucky you will poo in front of the midwife after she says "push".

And he's kicking off about the embarrassment of spending 5 mins in a loo cracking one off? He needs to get a bit of perspective.

WheelofPan · 08/10/2016 16:04

nice bit of perspective there Annie.