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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect dh to wank in a toilet?

202 replies

BummyMummy77 · 08/10/2016 13:32

We've finally bitten the bullet and are undergoing infertility stuff.

Do has to provide a sperm sample. Which he's fine about.

The problem is we live a long way from the hospital and the sample needs to be nice and fresh. 30 minutes at the longest.

So I've said do should do what most guys do and bash one out in the hospital loo.

He's having none of it. Says its disgusting and we need to stay in a local hotel.

We're totally Saint right now and it would take the place of money set aside to worm and de tick the animals and living in a place with 80% Lymes in ticks this is kind of important.

Am I being insensitive and unreasonable?

Would be much appreciated if females readers could ask their male oh's what they think.

Tia.

OP posts:
OrianaBanana · 08/10/2016 14:02

Just asked DH and he said he wouldn't have a problem with it. Then I read the rest of the thread and I'm now worried DH is skanky. Blush

PhotosGinAndALongLieIn · 08/10/2016 14:02

In answer to your question, my DP said he'd happily do it in the hospital loo. However, that doesn't mean everyone would be comfortable in that situation. If he feels like he couldn't manage it then could you factor the hotel cost in as part of the overall costs for the treatment?

VioletBam · 08/10/2016 14:02

Could you masturbate to orgasm in a public loo OP?

YABU

Original poster
BummyMummy77 · 08/10/2016 14:02

The nearest clinic is 7 hours. Hospital is 2.

OP posts:
UnGoogleable · 08/10/2016 14:07

OK well then you have 2 choices. You get a cheap hotel and try and make the whole experience a positive one, or you find the most private toilet you can - perhaps find a quiet restaurant with a lockable toilet rather than a cubicle in a row.

Good luck!

Original poster
BummyMummy77 · 08/10/2016 14:07

Ok ok. Enough of you have said it's unreasonable that we agreed to stay in a local hotel. Means dh has to work tomorrow but he's more than happy. Grin

I told him about the laminated mag and he actually shrieked. He said that is a 1000 times worse.

I am surprised the hospital doesn't have a private room. We're in a very rural area and it's catchment area is huge so I can image they take in lots of sperm samples for various reasons.

I'll tell them they are being unreasonable.

Looking at it in the sense of whether I could I a hospital loo I don't think I could.

OP posts:
MrsJayy · 08/10/2016 14:08

Oh no rooms that is a rubbish he might need to just get on with it but what if he doesnt manage

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 08/10/2016 14:09

There no way I could manage it in a toilet! Have you seen a men's toilet recently, blerk?!

QueenLizIII · 08/10/2016 14:09

Can you wait until the money comes in and book a hotel? You can help him with it Wink

ZuleikaDobson · 08/10/2016 14:10

I can definitely see the problem in this. Can you imagine trying to bring yourself to a climax in a cramped, uncomfortable cubicle with other people coming in and out, noises and smells of peeing and farting, and people having loud conversations?

fastdaytears · 08/10/2016 14:11

I think I actually could! Now feel like a proper weirdo as everyone has said they couldn't!

fourkids · 08/10/2016 14:12

The hospital have little rooms with appropriate reading material...

Fortnum · 08/10/2016 14:14

Yes YABU - For gods sake what park of wanking in a public toilet do you not understand it actually public indecency, if you wanted a fresh sample you could always help him out in the car park under a rug in the back seat.

Huppopapa · 08/10/2016 14:14

Saints preserve me! I'd not realised a) what sensitive fusspots my gender are nor b) how readily they are indulged!!
Seriously, this is beyond a joke! The man wants a kid. He's got to do almost fuck all to create it save knock a sample out in a bog. Not only is that too much for him but women who have experience or the prospect of doing immeasurably more and having innumerable blows to their dignity and privacy are actually siding with him!!!
Seriously, if this was a man in my family and once I'd stopped laughing I realised he actually meant it, he'd get such an intensive, prolix and deafening bollocking he wouldn't know his head from the inside of a church bell!
Get.On.With. It. Now.
Churrist! Is it any wonder boys can't find decent role models if this insanity is indulged?

dinosaursarebisexual · 08/10/2016 14:15

Will there be an accessible / disabled loo? Plenty of space in those for you to help with the process... YANBU

Allthewaves · 08/10/2016 14:15

Travel lodge then? Perhaps make a night of it as have room anyway.

AverysillyoldHector · 08/10/2016 14:16

A friend of mine used to work in an infertility clinic. They had a room which she christened the masturbatorium Grin

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 08/10/2016 14:17

Ha ha the wipe clean communal porno Grin.

I think most men can knock one out wherever they are. He might be putting obstacles in the way because he doesn't want his sperm counted. It's quite a knock to a man's ego to be told their sperm count is low. This might be giving him some sort of performance anxiety.

Plenty of people seem to want to shag in aeroplane toilets.

Hope you enjoy the hotel anyway.

Somerville · 08/10/2016 14:17

I just asked my fiancé for you, OP.

He said he'd find it no less off-putting masturbating in a loo than in the little room at the clinic he's used. He says it's not the location itself that makes it hard difficult, but anxiety at whether his sperm has improved and the general grimness of knowing how many other men have wanked in the same place.

He was pleased that his clinic has stopped offering porn (as they expect men to use their phones...)

He hates porn so he phoned me from the clinic. I don't do naked photos because of data breaches but I did talk dirty while folding laundry
Would something like that help?

larrygrylls · 08/10/2016 14:20

Some people are so precious; It is a wank, not a candlelit lovemaking session! I suspect most, if not all, teenage boys wank in the family loo. You lock yourself in a cubicle, get it over with, and go home.

And you can hardly get in trouble if that is where the medical staff have told you to go.

Namechangergeneral · 08/10/2016 14:20

DP frowned and said crack on in the toilet.

"It's what you'd do for a urine sample, you play with your penis for both".

OlennasWimple · 08/10/2016 14:23

Please don't advise your DH to go and do this in a restaurant or public loo! Not sure which state you are in, but it's almost certainly an arrestable offence.

And remember folks, loo doors in the US aren't like in the UK - they don't go floor to ceiling and they have big gaps around the edges: it's perfectly possible to see inside the cubicle...

Obsidian77 · 08/10/2016 14:23

Huppopapa Grin
op probably worth paying for the hotel and trying to make it a fun experience. If you put your foot down and insisted on the loo you'd never hear the end of it.

UnGoogleable · 08/10/2016 14:25

It's what you'd do for a urine sample, you play with your penis for both

I'd be worried about your DH Grin

Somerville · 08/10/2016 14:25

I've just asked him what he'd been done if I hadn't been available on the other end of the phone.

"I'd have managed it,' he said with a sigh, 'but it was much less soulless with your emotional support.' Hmm

Good to know that dirty talk and emotional support are interchangeable. Grin

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