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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect dh to wank in a toilet?

202 replies

BummyMummy77 · 08/10/2016 13:32

We've finally bitten the bullet and are undergoing infertility stuff.

Do has to provide a sperm sample. Which he's fine about.

The problem is we live a long way from the hospital and the sample needs to be nice and fresh. 30 minutes at the longest.

So I've said do should do what most guys do and bash one out in the hospital loo.

He's having none of it. Says its disgusting and we need to stay in a local hotel.

We're totally Saint right now and it would take the place of money set aside to worm and de tick the animals and living in a place with 80% Lymes in ticks this is kind of important.

Am I being insensitive and unreasonable?

Would be much appreciated if females readers could ask their male oh's what they think.

Tia.

OP posts:
OddBoots · 08/10/2016 14:26

I don't know if it is the same in the USA but I know in the UK most if not all motorway service stations have shower rooms. If there was one of those within 30 minutes of the hospital that would be a bit more private and you could have the shower running to block the noise of people walking past the room.

BusStopBetty · 08/10/2016 14:27

You're in the US? With inch wide gaps in the doors? And doors so short you can see your knees? Hell no he's not unreasonable to not want to do that.

BusStopBetty · 08/10/2016 14:28

I'm still scarred by the experience and I only had to pee.

Namechangergeneral · 08/10/2016 14:28

ungoogle

You would be right to worry! Haha

steff13 · 08/10/2016 14:30

If you're in the US, can't he do it at your OB/Gyn's office? Mine collects samples from men, and he lets them use a private room there at his office.

MumYourSoCool · 08/10/2016 14:31

BummyMummy77 Ignore the horrible comments, I don't think you are being unreasonable or insenstive - good luck with everything Flowers

woowoowoo · 08/10/2016 14:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chinlo · 08/10/2016 14:32

Just asked DH and he said he wouldn't have a problem with it. Then I read the rest of the thread and I'm now worried DH is skanky

He's not. I could do it basically anywhere, and if I asked my friends, 9/10 would say the same.

(actually 7-8/10 already have done it in some extremely questionable places, to be honest)

Huppopapa · 08/10/2016 14:34

Mine collects samples from men
Has anyone reported him, Steff?!?! Confused

sami2885 · 08/10/2016 14:35

OH said he would do it in a disabled loo (more privacy) or in a quiet place near the hospital in the car...

TheNaze73 · 08/10/2016 14:35

Surely if you're expecting him to crack one off in public, you could give him a hand?

larrygrylls · 08/10/2016 14:35

Olennas,

Only if you climb up or lie on the floor, which itself might be an offence.

steff13 · 08/10/2016 14:35

What do you mean? He collects the samples and has them tested, then makes a referral for treatment if necessary.

woowoowoo · 08/10/2016 14:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Huppopapa · 08/10/2016 14:39

Um.... lost in translation. To collect is a verb involving action so to the British reader it might seem that your medical practitioner is roaming the locale, milking samples from unsuspecting men. The ambiguity might not be there in North American English. I am perfectly aware that you meant he accepts sample, but the ambuliguity was too tempting to resist!

Huppopapa · 08/10/2016 14:40

Effing autocorrect!

Chewingthecrud · 08/10/2016 14:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

expatinscotland · 08/10/2016 14:41

What is unreasonable is that you are trying to procreate with this man who has proven himself a total arsehole to you, who belittles you, allows his family to treat you like shit, and you want to bring another child into this mess.

HarmlessChap · 08/10/2016 14:43

Glad you agreed to a hotel, I can't imagine being able to crack one off in a cubicle next to someone having a dump and equally it would be disturbing being the guy taking a dump hearing my neighbour furiously knuckle shuffling to try and reach orgasm.

Original poster
BummyMummy77 · 08/10/2016 14:44

Dinosaur- can you imagine if he came out of a disabled toilet and was holding up a bunch of disabled people for 20 minutes clutching a pot of spunk?!!! GrinGrin

I'd forgotten about the huge gaps in our doors. Although the loo in the women's centre where we went is a room with a proper door. He's feel uncomfortable doing it in there though with loads of pregnant women and kids trying the door handle every five seconds.

I can't believe the obgyn doc was so blase about it. They must take samples every day from people that live hours away.

Ds will be with us actually so the car wouldn't be an option. But public indecency isn't an issue here. As I've said several times we live in a very rural area. Rural as in, if you walk off in the woods there's a large chance you won't get out again and nobody will find you for years. I wasn't suggesting parking in a lay by. The princesses are out in full force today. Hmm

OP posts:
Glastonbury · 08/10/2016 14:44

My Dh had to do samples for vasectomy check up. He did it at home and kept it warm. They always said that was fine.

Original poster
BummyMummy77 · 08/10/2016 14:46

Wind your neck in expat and go snipe at someone else. Seems to be a theme with you.

OP posts:
Original poster
BummyMummy77 · 08/10/2016 14:47

I've always heard it's ok for a couple of hours but she said the best motility or whatever they are looking for is within 30 minutes.

OP posts:
steff13 · 08/10/2016 14:49

Oh, I see. Grin No, my doctor doesn't help to produce the sample, he just takes it when it's finished.

MrsMogginsMinge · 08/10/2016 14:49

The fact OP is in the US is relevant. For some unknown reason their toilet doors start 2 feet off the ground and have at least an inch wide gap either side. Really weird for a country that uses such euphemistic names for the lav.

Don't know if hospital loos are more private, but I can see why he doesn't fancy it.