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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to want a babysitter to do cleaning?

136 replies

Rosamund1 · 07/10/2016 19:45

We are desparately poor at the moment and going through a number of problems including health. My one ray of sunshine is going to a dance class every 2 weeks.

At the newsagents there was an advert for 'domestic help, cleaning, childminding, shopping etc.' I Called the agency and they said they could do what I needed; From 8pm -11pm look after 12 year old ds for three hours and do some housework for a total of £30. The class is 8.30- 10 and then I have a cup of tea and socialise till 10.30 then get home for 11. I don't have friends or family to hep with childcare and I don't want to give up this positive adult interaction as my job is awful.

The first week she came armed with a mop and cleaning things and I came home to a clean house. I had told ds to be in his bedroom. The week after she just did some dusting. The week after ds said she had just watched Tv the whole time.

I asked her to iron five shirts last week and she said she had done them, but maybe with the iron off or something. I feel sorry for her because she is old with a hacking smokers cough. I am not asking her to supervise an infant and scrub the floors at the same time.

Babysitters charge about £7 per hour here, so I may as well save the £200 per year difference and actually pay someone to sit around.

AIBU to want someone to clean for that amount as well as babysit ( even though it's what they initially agreed)?

For what it's worth, we invested in a super quiet vacuum cleaner about 5 years ago and you literally can't hear it in the next room, so the cleaning would not be noisy for neighbours at that time.

OP posts:
Believeitornot · 07/10/2016 19:46

Have you asked her why she didn't clean? If she hasn't cleaned after a visit I would ask her why...

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 07/10/2016 19:47

Go back to the agency. This person is not doing the work agreed.

HereIAm20 · 07/10/2016 19:48

If that was the agreement then that is what she should be doing. Speak to the agency.

YellowCrocus · 07/10/2016 19:49

Go back to the agency. This is not the arrangement you settled on!

ConvincingLiar · 07/10/2016 19:50

I'm surprised you got them to agree that though, I pay £10ph direct to a cleaner, and she doesn't take any responsibility for my child and can clean in sociable hours. What does she say when you return?

Mrsemcgregor · 07/10/2016 19:52

I have no advice but WOW I had no idea you could get someone to watch your kids AND clean for 3 hours for £30. I know what I want for xmas now!!!

CrowyMcCrowFace · 07/10/2016 19:53

No, I don't think yabu.

If that's what you want & the agency agreed it, that's the deal.

If it's not happening, the arrangement isn't working for you & you go elsewhere.

I've used, at different times, a childminder, a nanny, babysitters & now have a housekeeper.

In each case the childcare/housework split was negotiated (childminder obviously no housework as looking after kids in her own home, housekeeper doesn't do childcare as such but kids now old enough to be at home whilst she cleans & is there to keep an eye on them, Nanny & babysitters an agreed amount of housework...)

If I'd set out my needs via an agency I'd expect them adhered to - if they can't do it, no problem, no hard feelings, life's too short - look elsewhere.

Rattusn · 07/10/2016 20:01

Usually, yabu to expect a babysitter to clean.

In this situation the agency did agree to this, but I agree you are getting a bargain getting a cleaner and babysitter for 10/hour!

I used to babysit for that much many years ago, and all I did was to watch TV and eat their food!

Danglyweed · 07/10/2016 20:06

Wasting 30 quid on a clearly shit cleaner/sitter when youre desperately poor isnt a good idea. Is the 12 year old not able to stay home himself?

Starryeyed16 · 07/10/2016 20:06

I wonder if your expections are a little high maybe it should of stated light cleaning rather than expect a full clean during the time she was looking after your child.

BombadierFritz · 07/10/2016 20:07

well i'm not surprised they are not keen at that price/time, but if they agreed to it, you can only remind them of that/try to find someone else (good luck!)

StarlingMurmuration · 07/10/2016 20:08

YANBU if that was what was agreed with the agency.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 07/10/2016 20:09

I'd pay my 12 year old to cleanGrin

Starryeyed16 · 07/10/2016 20:09

Surely if you are desperately poor you wouldn't be able to afford 120 a month? Desperately poor is been unable to put food on the table resulting in food banks or struggling to put electricity on. I've been in this situation and didn't have two pennies to rub together when DH lost his job and I was on maternity.

Presstheresetbutton · 07/10/2016 20:09

I don't think you can be desperately poor and afford £30 a week for a babysitter and cleaning.

I'm desperately poor. I sat in the house for 24 hrs with no electricity last week.

musicposy · 07/10/2016 20:09

Do you know any local, reliable teens? My first thought is that a babysitter is usually there just for that - but my teen DDs get about £6-£7 per hour for babysitting. If someone offered them £10 if they did a bit of ironing or cleaning, I'm sure they'd go for it. So many 16-18s are working in £5 an hour jobs, I don't think you'd have trouble finding takers - it's just a case of finding someone you can rely on. Can anyone recommend someone to you?

RabbitsNap01 · 07/10/2016 20:10

The point is they agreed to do it for the wage offered, so I think you ought to mention it, give them one chance to improve or re advertise. A 12 yo hardly needs much looking after, whilst babysitters don't normally clean, they agreed to do it.

Presstheresetbutton · 07/10/2016 20:10

Ha! Cross post, my thoughts exactly

shrunkenhead · 07/10/2016 20:11

Surely you're 12 year old doesn't need looking after and can do a bit of cleaning for extra pocket money?? much cheaper!

CrowyMcCrowFace · 07/10/2016 20:12

Actually I think you just need to change the focus - you don't really need a babysitter for a 12yo. What you need is a cleaner who is happy to have ds doing his own thing in the house whilst he/she cleans.

Sukitakeitoff · 07/10/2016 20:13

Would you be happy for your ds to be in on his own while you go to your dance class? You could even pay him £10 to do some housework /ironing Wink

Sukitakeitoff · 07/10/2016 20:14

Sorry, x posted with a few there!

MrsDeVere · 07/10/2016 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

marie200 · 07/10/2016 20:15

I would say yabu to say you're desperately poor when you can afford £30 a week as well as the fee for ur class and drinks afterwards. Really gets on my wick when people claim poverty, when they have no real clue as to what that means.
But I think yanbu to expect the woman you are paying to babysit and clean, to do just that. I would phone the agency, means you won't have to speak to her directly if it makes you uncomfortable.

Original poster
Rosamund1 · 07/10/2016 20:25

It's not a competition about who is poorest. We are actually in debt. I have suffered from depression and do not want to ever go down that route again. I don't have any friends and not much to look forward to so six hours a month when I can actually smile and dance and chat is worth it. We have not been on holiday in 5 years. I cook from scratch and save money in many ways. We do not live in a nice area. The police are in the area about 3 times a week and I would not feel comfortable leaving ds alone.

I do not know how I would get teenagers to babysit as suggested. Ds goes to school a long distance from the house so we do not know older siblings who live nearby and could do it.

OP posts: