AIBU to want a babysitter to do cleaning?

[Rosamund1]

We are desparately poor at the moment and going through a number of problems including health. My one ray of sunshine is going to a dance class every 2 weeks.

At the newsagents there was an advert for 'domestic help, cleaning, childminding, shopping etc.' I Called the agency and they said they could do what I needed; From 8pm -11pm look after 12 year old ds for three hours and do some housework for a total of £30. The class is 8.30- 10 and then I have a cup of tea and socialise till 10.30 then get home for 11. I don't have friends or family to hep with childcare and I don't want to give up this positive adult interaction as my job is awful.

The first week she came armed with a mop and cleaning things and I came home to a clean house. I had told ds to be in his bedroom. The week after she just did some dusting. The week after ds said she had just watched Tv the whole time.

I asked her to iron five shirts last week and she said she had done them, but maybe with the iron off or something. I feel sorry for her because she is old with a hacking smokers cough. I am not asking her to supervise an infant and scrub the floors at the same time.

Babysitters charge about £7 per hour here, so I may as well save the £200 per year difference and actually pay someone to sit around.

AIBU to want someone to clean for that amount as well as babysit ( even though it's what they initially agreed)?

For what it's worth, we invested in a super quiet vacuum cleaner about 5 years ago and you literally can't hear it in the next room, so the cleaning would not be noisy for neighbours at that time.

mycat - I'm not sure why it matters that the two jobs are seperate. I've worked as a care assistant where I was expected to cook, clean and look after residents. I certainly wasn't paid triple the minimum wage. I agree, it should be much much higher but it's certainly not unreasonable to expect someone to do a bit of cleaning while babysitting a 12 year old (that won't take up much, if any time at all). It's not like OP expected her to scrub the place top to bottom.

Hi Harley, because as a care assistant what you would do is reflected in how much you earn - being a babysitter and a cleaner are two different things and I think if you're going to do both that should be reflected in how much you get paid.

You got an incredible deal, when you consider a daytime cleaner is £10-12 ph and a babysitter is £9-12ph. And yet you still expect more! I would be concerned about how the agency is able to offer such a low rate. To be fair you should of paid her £21 ph if she was doing 2 jobs or just £10ph if you just want babysitting, plus of course the tradition cab home if its after 10pm at night. I think you took advantage to be honest, but to be fair the agency did encourage you

Couldn't the 12yo cope without a babysitter for 3 hours every fortnight, then you could pay a cleaner to actually clean?

I think the OP was clear that she didn't feel comfortable leaving her ds at home alone. I am not sure I would have left my ds at home alone for 3 hours at night when he was that age. He's so oblivious that the house could have burned down around him and he wouldn't have noticed.

I mentioned before, but as so many people keep posting about how outrageous it is to ask for it without paying double, I'll mention it again. There's something called "mum's helper", which is advertised as both a babysitter and cleaner. It exists and it's not £20/h. When I was overwhelmed by stuff, I asked around and I was told £7-£8 for babysitting, £7-£10 for cleaning, £10-£15 for both (obviously, with either lighter babysitting or cleaning as cannot do both at same time). I don't think it's wrong since agency (and worker) agreed. Additionally, all she has to do is check the kid doesn't do anything silly and keep an eye whilst doing chores. She also did that on the first day, just relaxed since. Au-pair are often asked to do both, nannies do offer sometimes under agreement, all the babysitters I had who had worked as au-pair in the past, did ask me if I wanted any chores done and said all the other mums did leave for them some ironing or washing to do whilst child was asleep. I haven't asked myself because I feel I rather do one thing 100%, but if it has been agreed, I see no problem. Put an advert in Gumtree or Childcare.co.uk and change the one you've got.

Jedimum, never heard of mothers help before, but do you really believe this lady is receiving a fair wage, after the agency have taken their cut, paid her travel costs plus the op mentions she brought her own mop, so wear and tear. Like others have said the nmw is around £7.30 (sorry can't remember exact), so after travel time, costs and materials this babysitter/cleaner is clearly not getting what is fair for doing two jobs whether she initially agreed to it or not, also traditionally babysitters are provided with refreshments and a free lift home. I have done both jobs on my time, but never together as it would be hard to divide myself, I know I wouldn't be able to give both roles my full attention. I have also been there as a single mum, I managed my social life without having to use a babysitter as I early on worked out a night out was too costly ( after I have paid the babysitter, fed them, got them a cab home, plus sorted myself out with spending money, entrance fee, cab home, even something new wear etc) so I do know how tempting it is to cut costs, but it is taking advantage, I would prefer to keep my dosh and stay in and see my mates during the day or round their houses with their kids having sleep overs, then spend money I couldn't afford. I personally think if you can't afford to pay someone a fair price then don't use their services, especially something as important as being responsible for your child, simple as.

Wether you are poor or not isn't relevant, but i am a little concerned for you about your debts, which is a headache for anyone, can you get any help or advice with managing this? I was a single parent when my child was still a baby and found my self unemployable for the first time and up to my eyeballs in debt, i did get myself back on my feet eventually but i lived on a very tight budget for first eight years, even after i got back to work when she was 4 i still had to budget to within a penny! So i really feel for you on that one, but you need to prioritise whether this evening out is really worth this amount, after you have paid for the sitter, the class, travel etc. I would look around for a class that fits around your work schedule or see if your child wants to have a sleep over at a school friend, (again the etiquette is to offer the parent a tenner to a score, to cover any costs, like pizza, video etc, but most parents don't take take it or give it back to the kids, its just polite to offer) that would still be cheaper than the £30. Also in a few short years he will be ok enough to be left alone, so keep that in mind when you plan your debt management.

You've done something very wise, several things. The dance class and the cleaning (of course it makes sense to pay a tiny bit extra and have the cleaning done).

Wonderful safeguards for your mental health which will have huge impact on your future!

Go back to agency or to another one. Keep going with this plan and take good care of yourself!

Perfectly reasonable to do cleaning and babysitting of a 12yo combined for £10 an hour. The cleaner let you down. I say go back to agency/complain about her.