AIBU to want a babysitter to do cleaning?

[Rosamund1]

We are desparately poor at the moment and going through a number of problems including health. My one ray of sunshine is going to a dance class every 2 weeks.

At the newsagents there was an advert for 'domestic help, cleaning, childminding, shopping etc.' I Called the agency and they said they could do what I needed; From 8pm -11pm look after 12 year old ds for three hours and do some housework for a total of £30. The class is 8.30- 10 and then I have a cup of tea and socialise till 10.30 then get home for 11. I don't have friends or family to hep with childcare and I don't want to give up this positive adult interaction as my job is awful.

The first week she came armed with a mop and cleaning things and I came home to a clean house. I had told ds to be in his bedroom. The week after she just did some dusting. The week after ds said she had just watched Tv the whole time.

I asked her to iron five shirts last week and she said she had done them, but maybe with the iron off or something. I feel sorry for her because she is old with a hacking smokers cough. I am not asking her to supervise an infant and scrub the floors at the same time.

Babysitters charge about £7 per hour here, so I may as well save the £200 per year difference and actually pay someone to sit around.

AIBU to want someone to clean for that amount as well as babysit ( even though it's what they initially agreed)?

For what it's worth, we invested in a super quiet vacuum cleaner about 5 years ago and you literally can't hear it in the next room, so the cleaning would not be noisy for neighbours at that time.

Yes, I'm not in a shack somewhere eating out of bins but especially as I volunteer at a food bank, I know some people there are better off than I am financially.
what the fuck?
so people who cannot afford food are better off than the one who can afford paid help?
What?

I can see why you need a babysitter but I think if you are in debt you should give up on the idea of cleaning at the same time. I think it will be hard to find clean in the evening for little more than they would get for babysitting alone.
As already suggested I would also find an earlier evening class so that you can leave your 12 year old by themselves.

Speak to her and if it doesn't change, discuss with the agency

Marie, this is OP's only relaxation/entertainment and she has health problems so I don't see £30 as being extravagant. Many struggling families would spend more on alcohol, cigarettes, rims etc. And a cup of tea is hardly living the highlife!
The cleaner isn't really required to look after DS at 12, but to just be in the house until OP gets back. Different with younger children who actually need supervision and care.
I don't think it's BUR to expect some cleaning as the woman has agreed to accept the work. Go back to the agency and let them sort the problem.
Do you leave a list of chores? Agree with the worker what she feels she can accomplish in 3 hours. At a minimum I would expect a vacuum through, floors mopped and bathroom cleaned.
Good luck

I also wonder if you might be better off getting a normal cleaner (as opposed to babysitter/cleaner) although perhaps the late hours wouldn't work.

Just because your son doesn't really need massive supervision at 12, just someone to be in the house at the same time.

I don't think the point is how poor OP is but more the fact she hired someone to clean and babysit. I'd speak to the agency or ask cleaner to tick off a list what she s managed to do. Btw I work as an AHP and think there is no harm in you spending £60 a month on your well being, it has a knock on affect yo your ds well being, how positive you feel, probably makes you less likely to spend money on ready meals etc as you feel more energised. Those things all add up too. Wish people would read OP it's £60 a month not £120 either way that's not really the point. Many people in your position would waste £60 a month on far less positive things than emotional well being and socialising.

i don't think you should stop your dance class. it's what's keeping you going and you absolutely deserve some happiness in your life.

ask the agency for a different babysitter / cleaner or get a babysitter and save the money.

and don't feel guilty about doing something for yourself once a week

I would have a think about spending £30 plus The cost of the dance class and the coffee you are getting deeper into debt. I really understand the need to do something fun and healthy but that's just too much money.

Could your DS come with you for the night. Spoil him with some sweets and the promise that he can play on a tablet or phone for the time you are there.

It seems odd.

I'd look for a local older teenager who'll babysit for half the price (literally just sit and watch telly, though).

I think you get what you pay for, and a tenner for cleaning and babysitting at that time of night was always going to be unrealistic, regardless of what the agency said.

Again I say I understand the need to do something for yourself etc. BUT spending money you don't have will only add to depression and anxiety, believe me I know

Thank you for the feedback. I feel bad getting rid of her but the stress alone of the situation is undoing the intended effects.

I could go to a different class but I am used to these people now and while none of them are friends, they are pleasant acquaintances.

I will probably just go for a different agency because I hate confrontation and don't want awkwardness.

Oh ffs, this woman just wanted to know of her terms of employment were reasonable, not to be slagged off for not being or enough

I don't necessarily need a cleaner. I just thought it would be daft to pay £60 per month to babysit someone who is in high school and thought they might as well get some ironing/cleaning done.

Poor enough

I can understand posters annoyance at you describing yourself as desperately poor op when yo can spend this money on babysitting/cleaning

but as it seems to be the only joy you are getting out of your spare time then fair play to you

I wold get shot of this woman immediately and speak to the agency and tell them they owe you money as you paid someone to do a job they said she would do and shes not doing it

oh god dont feel bad getting rid of her, shes taking the piss out of you and not feeling bad about it

OP if you find physical activity helpful for your mental state ( and it really helps me) then why don't you consider doing something more regularly? Running is free or membership of a local authority gym is cheap.

but especially as I volunteer at a food bank, I know some people there are better off than I am financially.

However, she obviously isn't doing what you have paid for.

Either ask her to clean as required and agreed or talk to agency and get someone else

Pay £7 to get a bs or even less if use sitters

Yes they said they would do it for £10ph but many wouldn't clean and bs

Desperately poor but has £120/month to spunk up a wall. Yeah, right. Get rid of her and find a teenager.

Frankly, unless there are special concerns about an individual child, a 12 year old should be perfectly fine on his own for a couple of hours. Or, tell him to pack up a backpack with books/homework/etc, and bring him to your dance class and park him at a table somewhere nearby.

'Yes, I'm not in a shack somewhere eating out of bins but especially as I volunteer at a food bank, I know some people there are better off than I am financially.'

They cannot afford food but are better off than you. Sure.

Seriously, stop paying for a babysitter. He's 12, in the absence of any special needs he can stay home alone.

going to the point of what you are saying, why not just speak to the agency and say you are not getting what they said you would get? Thing is, you can change agencies and might end up with the same problem. I'm actually really surprised you can get someone to do both tasks for that price.

Just speak to the agency, it is that simple.

I do think "desperately poor" was a bad choice of words but hopefully you see that now.