Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Random Jeremy Kyle Question

123 replies

Skweeki · 07/10/2016 10:12

I know...I KNOW...I need a life Grin. But AIBU to think the lie detector results are bullshit?

If someone is wankered enough to have a blackout, and not remember whether they had s/c or kissed someone else, surely they would be telling the truth, as far as they were aware? So is this actually a valid excuse?

Disclaimer: I'm working as well as watching. It's on in the background while I snuggle under the duvet with my laptop work in my very organized designated work area

OP posts:
Bubblebloodypop · 07/10/2016 10:14

I think they are unreliable in general. The way he acts like they are foolproof is irresponsible at best. These are people's lives he is fucking with.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 07/10/2016 10:17

Lie detectors aren't reliable, that's why we don't use them in court here.

JK is a vampire who feeds off the misery off others.

TheDowagerCuntess · 07/10/2016 10:19

Jeremy's lie detector is a cardboard box hooked up to a plastic cup via a piece of string, that the mug in question talks into.

They're that --pointless- scientific.

Original poster
Skweeki · 07/10/2016 10:21

He's a jumped up turd isn't he? Crappy daytime tv is a guilty pleasure...I also watch Milkshake in the morning! 😁

OP posts:
x2boys · 07/10/2016 10:22

tbh though if you are naieve enough to go on the show and do the lie detector theres not much hope for your relationship anyway

VladmirsPoutine · 07/10/2016 10:22

They are pretty much obsolete in the world of law. Jeremy Kyle is an emotional vampire and a self-aggrandising twat to boot.

Original poster
Skweeki · 07/10/2016 10:24

Can someone explain "emotions vampire" to me? I'm struggling with an image of Dracula crying into a tissue here...

OP posts:
StartledByHisFurryShorts · 07/10/2016 10:25

If they were in any way reliable, surely police/courts would use them rather than just shitty daytime tv programmes?

NoCapes · 07/10/2016 10:25

There's a little disclaimer at the bottom that says they're not 100% reliable, yet whenever someone says it's wrong he says it's not! Surely some of them actually are if you admit they're not 100%?!
Fucks me off!

HarleyQuinzel · 07/10/2016 10:27

They're not 100% which is why they can't be used in court but they do seem mostly reliable from my extensive watching of JK Blush

Moojay · 07/10/2016 10:28

I seem to remember a huge drama when a guest got differing results from the lie detectors on JK and Trisha.
If you distrust anyone enough to want a lie detector, you shouldn't be with them.

MrsJayy · 07/10/2016 10:36

Emotional vampire sucks your emotions from you feeds of misery

FlyingElbows · 07/10/2016 10:36

Skweeki an "emotional vampire" is someone who feeds off other people's emotions or emotionally charged situations. Like people who take to the Internet to bang on about how devastated they are when something terrible happens to someone they have no connection with at all.

MagikarpetRide · 07/10/2016 10:38

This has always been my favourite JK related stat

2270 Jeremy Kyle episodes
3 lie detector tests per episode
Lie detector: 95% accurate
= 340 unbelievably massive mistakes

Oysterbabe · 07/10/2016 10:41

I saw an episode where the guy was genuinely puzzled by the result but had complete belief in it. He was like "Wow I really thought I hadn't slept with anyone. I must have been hammered at the time as I have no memory of it at all" He thought that the machine somehow magically knew he had slept with someone even if he had no idea Grin
He does really exploit a lot of vulnerable people.

BalloonSlayer · 07/10/2016 10:42

They don't work on habitual liars.

They detect the change in Galvanic Skin Response, which is the electrical conductivity of your skin. When a normal person tells a lie, they feel anxious to a greater or a lesser degree, this makes them sweat more and their skin becomes more conductive. People who are either psychopaths or habitual liars don't give a shit about lying to you so they don't get anxious and lie detectors say they are telling the truth

Sparklesilverglitter · 07/10/2016 10:43

If lie detectors were reliable we'd be able to use them in a court of law and you can't. Lie dectectors are bullshit.

I can't stand jemery Kyle he is one massive knob

Lariflete · 07/10/2016 10:46

That's hilarious Oysterbabe! Although very sad at the same time and an indication of why Jeremy Kyle shouldn't be let near other people as he is a massive manipulator.

Chocolateiloveyou28 · 07/10/2016 10:46

Of course lie detectors aren't reliable.

Jeremy Kyle is the show people go on when they have lost all self respect or are very vulnerable and he pokes fun at them for the publics enjoyment. Jeremy Kyle is the biggest knob of them all

Swearwolf · 07/10/2016 10:49

I've often wondered if they just make up the results to show whatever is going to get the best reaction.

My favourite is when one half of a couple passes or fails the lie detector then the other person refutes their own results, then jezza is all 'well you were happy to believe her results weren't you, so yours must be true too' as if either both sets are accurate or neither can be.

MrsJayy · 07/10/2016 10:51

I hate it when JK shouts at Darren you are lying it is here in black and white piss off jez

SuperFlyHigh · 07/10/2016 11:03

JK has always been my guilty pleasure when off sick/on holiday...

I really don't know why the guests go on there? are they paid?

RepentAtLeisure · 07/10/2016 11:08

I've mentioned it before, but my class experimented with a polygraph machine at college. We had to sit still, not move and answer questions several times over, while the polygraph reader examined our heart rates. Several of us walked out of the classroom saying "Well I didn't know I felt that way, but I suppose I must do!" I know for a fact that he misread two of my answers.

I feel sorry for the people who are led to believe that they could end a family or relationship problem with a lie detector test, and then have to live with the fact that they were called a liar on TV! It's especially awful when it's related to stealing or infidelity, something that will follow the person around long after they've walked off the stage.

BingBongBingBong · 07/10/2016 11:10

A few episodes I've watched where they've seemed genuinely completely shocked that it shows they're lying or not lying. So those ones are probably wrong. I can't believe they use them on the show they're not reliable at all.

Cocklodger · 07/10/2016 11:15

I've always wondered at what point, during a huge bust up with your husband/dad/hamster, do you say ''LETS GO ON JEZZA KYLE! HE'LL SORT IT!''??