To tell DD she can ignore the no makeup rule

[Hedgehog80]

Dd (14) goes to a school where they have a complete make up ban up till sixth form. She's never worn make up at school previously (except eyebrow pencil but it was cleared by the school due to a medical issue)

She recently has been on a medication that has affected her skin and subsequently her self esteem. Dd also has lifelong medical conditions that are very difficult for her and has now developed depression....she told me that up till now she could put on a happy smiley act at school but she can't anymore as she's too u happy and looks awful (she does look v unwell and has terrible dark circles under eyes)

She asked today could she wear make up for two reasons - to hide the circles and spots and to make her look a bit better and also because she knows if she wears it she won't cry as then it'll all run and smudge so she thought it would be help.

I told her yes to ignore the ban and keep it as natural as she possibly can. I think in the circumstances it's ok ?
I'm not sure dh will agree with me and no idea if the school will notice/what they may say but they've been fully supportive so far with any issues

Oops, rogue apostrophe

I think whatever she needs to make herself fit in and look natural is a good thing. I'm sure school would support that. Tinted moisturiser etc is a fab idea. I've got really really sensitive skin, and clarins and clinique both have things that I can use, found this out through trial and error. Hope she's feeling more positive soon. You sound like a fab Mum!

Have you tried tinted moisturiser? We had a makeup ban at school but the girls who had bad acne were allowed to wear that and it did make a big difference without being makeup.

Poor DD, hope she starts to feel happier soon

Great response, Cory (and yes, I know your DD's back story - so sorry that she has felt so bad that she attempted suicide twice).

I'm not even going to say anything to the negative posters because i can't understand how they can apparently have similar situations in their own lives and yet have so little empathy or understanding of the OP and her DD's situation. Bloody weird.

Ugh. EDS. I'm so sorry, it really is an utterly vile condition to have - is why they won't operate on my spine unless/until damage is so bad it causes paralysis. Surgery & EDS is indeed a pretty hellish combination though - have had to have reconstructive work on both knees & even relatively basic keyhole abdo stuff is a nightmare...

Much empathy as well as sympathy to your DD.

I'm really surprised they have a makeup ban. My DDs go to a relatively strict all girls school and they are allowed to wear light makeup. I think that they in the lower years many of the form teachers say no make up with the exception of foundation and concealer. Hopefully, if your daughter applies light makeup there won't be a problem.

This girl is a survivor. Chronic pain is a horrible, horrible thing to have to live with, it requires enormous courage. Sometimes that courage falters a little, it would be strange otherwise. And if someone who is brave and determined enough to want to keep on going decides to resort to some small trick to be able to do so, then I think it would be better for those of us who were lucky enough to be born in healthy bodies to thank our lucky stars rather than to sneer at somebody who is dealing with what we don't have to.

Spot on, there are some disgusting replies on this thread. Some of you really do not have a clue, yet you still see fit to nit pick & criticise something you really have no understanding of at all.

My same age DD also lives with EDS, make up to her is like putting on her war paint, it gives an illusion of strength & normality that she often doesn't have. Our zebra kids are warriors like you would not believe & they deserve every little bit of help with feeling good about that, that they can get.

Mine has purple hair & piercings too, ooohh bad mum alert because after all that she goes through, I sure as hell won't be the one to tell her she can't do that, sometimes she wears too much make up, sometimes none at all, but she IS in some sort of pain every bloody day & despite that she works like a trojan & still excels in all areas of school. She more than earns the right to wear what ever war paint she chooses, as does Hedgehogs DD!!!

"but no-one teaching them not to say 'like' every other word or that they can't say 'I was sat'.
At least they'll be healthy and natural looking when they're speaking like morons."