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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel a bit humiliated by his reaction

195 replies

gembran · 06/10/2016 00:20

At work today was sitting with a group of people I normally sit with, 5 work friends I guess you could call them - been in the job just over a month and we all started together. All seem really nice. It's a grad scheme so almost has a university freshers feel to it, we're all young and have fun together in our free time.

I was idly chatting about wanting to use my languages more in the workplace. One guy in the group also speaks the same foreign language as I do, both as a second language. I asked him if he got much of a chance to practise and must have looked keen ("I'm loooking for someone to practise with" hint hint) as two of my friends burst out laughing (nicely) and slightly took the mickey, insinuating that I wanted him to do it. Was good-natured though!

He kind of stammered and then said something about how his girlfriend had just started to learn a new language, obviously just trying to shoehorn her name into conversation and make it clear he wasn't available! Feel mortified as I definitely don't fancy him and don't find him attractive in that way at all - was just being friendly and chatty. He then returned to being bantery and friendly Confused

OP posts:
faffingturtle · 08/10/2016 17:11

Sunshine. In op's last post she mentioned it wasn't the first time he had done it.
I've had so many men do this to me, later confessing it was because they liked me really!
Of course we can never say for sure, however l don't think it can be ruled out. A man that didn't fancy her would have laughed along ... in my experience anyway.

Sunshineonacloudyday · 08/10/2016 19:12

Not if he doesn't like her he wouldn't have laughed along. Why would he laugh when he feels uncomfortable. Some people go to work to actually work. If that was me in that situation I would feel uncomfortable boundaries are being crossed.

BoneyBackJefferson · 08/10/2016 19:59

faffingturtle

why would he have laughed along? the OP isn't laughing along.

Batteriesallgone · 08/10/2016 20:41

OP is socially awkward.

OP has conversation with man who is socially awkward.

OP is mad at the man for being socially awkward.

OP does not appear to appreciate how self absorbed / hypocritical / unforgiving that sounds. Possibly because she is socially awkward.

Well this one is going to run and run, huh?

gembran · 08/10/2016 20:48

I'm not socially awkward Hmm Thanks for that but quite the opposite in fact

OP posts:
faffingturtle · 08/10/2016 22:43

Some nasty comments- wish l hadn't contributed to such a negative thread.

In my experience laughing along is very common -if you have nothing to lose. With all due respect, this is a bunch of very early 20 somethings. I doubt any of them have it all 'down' just yet.
Good luck . I sure you are just fine the way you are op :)

DetailedConfusion · 08/10/2016 23:02

Wow, people are being absolute cunts on this thread. I can't see anything the op has posted that makes her deserve it.

2kids2dogsnosense · 09/10/2016 17:26

Sunshine - Loads of people laugh because they feel uncomfortable. It's very common.

Sunshineonacloudyday · 09/10/2016 18:07

2kids2dogsnosense he didn't find it funny he felt he had to talk about his girlfriend to move it along. He felt uncomfortable you can't dress it up. No one knows what the op is like towards him. He may not like her company but thats not her problem. She should talk to people who she gets on with and not worry about this person who has a girlfriend. Its very worrying for some one to focus so much attention on one person. If he don't like her move on why waste her time when she can meet and speak to people who will like her. FFS life is to short.

gembran · 09/10/2016 18:13

Sunshine no-one has said he doesn't like me - he does 🙄

OP posts:
PoppyBirdOnAWire · 09/10/2016 18:18

I now think some people are deliberately missing the point. Or perhaps I am being unfair given that they may not have the skills required.

Sunshineonacloudyday · 09/10/2016 18:18

Wow, people are being absolute cunts on this thread. I can't see anything the op has posted that makes her deserve it.

He is not allowed to tell her he has a girlfriend what is wrong with that. I think this whole thread is weird and very worrying. Not everyone is going to like you thats life. The amount of knocks that I have had and I am still standing. In my young days I would never have dwelled over a boy because you can meet a new guy just around the corner.

Nothing is nothing there to look for OP move on find someone who will like you for being you. You are lovely girl find your other half that makes you feel complete.

Sunshineonacloudyday · 09/10/2016 18:19

Do you fancy him.

Sunshineonacloudyday · 09/10/2016 18:19

*There is nothing there to look for

PoppyBirdOnAWire · 09/10/2016 18:19

"2kids2dogsnosense he didn't find it funny he felt he had to talk about his girlfriend to move it along. He felt uncomfortable you can't dress it up. No one knows what the op is like towards him. He may not like her company but thats not her problem. She should talk to people who she gets on with and not worry about this person who has a girlfriend. Its very worrying for some one to focus so much attention on one person. If he don't like her move on why waste her time when she can meet and speak to people who will like her. FFS life is to short"

That post is a joke, frankly. Have you read the OP at all?

PoppyBirdOnAWire · 09/10/2016 18:21

Actually, I think the guy may like the OP more than he feels he should.

Sunshineonacloudyday · 09/10/2016 18:24

Okay but that is you fantasising. If he really liked her why bring up the girlfriend a bloke wouldn't do that.

Sunshineonacloudyday · 09/10/2016 18:51

The thing is he seems to be fine around other girls, it just appears to be me!! Oh well!!

That doesn't mean he fancies you my partner ignored a women at work. He told me that she goes on like he should want to talk to her, be in her group and fancy her. In the end he walked out the room when she was in it. He was so happy the day she left the company he did not like her. You have to be careful not to make him feel uncomfortable he is there to work so he can eat and pay rent. People have bills to pay.

PoppyBirdOnAWire · 09/10/2016 18:54

The OP is a graduate.

PoppyBirdOnAWire · 09/10/2016 18:55

So are the others. The world is their proverbial oyster...

Sunshineonacloudyday · 09/10/2016 19:05

Thats how you want to justify that madness. That makes no sense he has a girlfriend.

Sunshineonacloudyday · 09/10/2016 19:11

Me and my partner had 3 children did she care it was about her feelings. She was trying to push people out of the company until she got the boot.

Sunshineonacloudyday · 09/10/2016 19:11

The world is their proverbial oyster...

Until you need a reference.*

BoneyBackJefferson · 09/10/2016 19:45

PoppyBirdOnAWire
"Actually, I think the guy may like the OP more than he feels he should."

That is pure supposition, and plays in to the OP's view.

PoppyBirdOnAWire · 10/10/2016 15:37

So, how did today go, OP? Are you able to make eye contact with this make friend?

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