NC'd obvs.
DDad died around 7 years ago. Strong character. Much missed. Died far too young (67). This is relevant.... He was self-made (think a lesser Alan Sugar, i.e. came from nothing, set up his own business, made it a success. Not gazillions, but business still strong and still going)
My mum has some wealth (because of dad's business. She's worked - she's been really successful - but not at the same level dad achieved.
I have young parents. Mum was around 65 when he died. They'd been together since she was 13. Very, very sad.
My DM is a bit amazing. (I would say that.... I love her to pieces!). She's a counsellor.
My mum befriends people. People love her. She's a friend (unofficial carer) to about a million people. There's someone she knows who is a social outcast to people who know him/his history. He's been through the courts twice, and has been shunned by people who know about it because of it. I'm not going to say what it was because it's outing, but it's sexual crimes against the vulnerable. My mum is his friend. After dad died, he's lived with her when he had no where else to go (for about a year and a half). She sees through the crimes that other people can't to the person beneath, and they get on really well and enjoy each other's company. He is a year older than me. and I fucking hate him. pervy, creepy fuck that he is, but not going to say this cos it derails my own thread and is outing to him. Not that he deserves any privacy!
Earlier this year their relationship moved on a level, and they're now a couple, although they keep this very quiet. I nearly started threads about it on here, because it is doing my head in, but I kind-of knew that MN would tell me it was none of my business, so I didn't. And my mum's older, but not old/old, and has the right to enjoy the rest of her life. it is very hard when she gets 'giddy' and excited though. BUT none of my business. I do get it's none of my business
I was talking to mum today about money, because we are skint. DH has recently taken early retirement, and I work almost full-time, and in a massively satisfying job, but one which doesn't pay well. We have (finally) achieved good work/life balance, but it's not enough to pay the bills, and we're worried about it. We are NOT on the breadline.... I work with people in poverty, and that's not us. We can't afford treats and holidays (boo-hoo us! I do appreciate people are in far worse situations). But DD's birthday is in November and Christmas is coming, and I honestly don't know how we're going to get through them (we will, but it will be hard. Not foodbank hard, but hard).
So far, so first world. I do get I'm being first-world!
I was talking to mum today, and I was telling her about this. My mum is wealthy (because of dad's business). So firstly, mum was offering to give me some of my inheritance early, and inherit less as a way to solve our immediate issues. I really don't want this (a) it breaks my heart to think of my mum dying and (b) at my age and stage, I think we should be dealing with this ourselves and finding our own solutions.
But, while we were talking about money, she had something to suggest to me. She said it came from the best place and out of kindness, but that she knew I wouldn't see it that way, but was going to tell me in any case.
When she dies (urrrrgh, urrrrgh, urrrgh. This breaks me!) me and my sister (who are NC) will inherit both a reasonable amount of money and property. And the business (which also comes with both). Her delightful BF has suggested that me and my (NC) sister will pay less inheritance tax if she gives some money to him which he has told her he will give to us.
I don't want to sound grabby. And I told mum it was her money, and she was welcome to give it all to the local cat's home if that was what she wanted.
But isn't this fucking cunt prick fleecing her? He's TOLD her he'll give it to us. But he's under no obligation to.
If he didn't, or if he put conditions on it, we'd have no chance to report him, because it's a tax dodge (and so illegal). It also means he'd stay in our lives, which I couldn't countenance (I fucking hate him,and would want nothing to do with him if mum wasn't around. I feel this is a way for him to stay in our lives)
This is very horrible and base. I'm ashamed about it, because I feel it's reducing my mum to what I'd potentially inherit from her, which is horrendous for me. I don't want to live in a world without her in it. With or without money.
But if this creep stays around, I promise I want nothing to do with him after mum dies. I don't want him to have a hold over me, potentially dishing out the occasional tenner if I'm nice to him.
How can I tell my mother I think he's a chancer who's fleecing her, when she's happy? And there's SO much back-story I'm not mentioning about my sister, who's made mum's life a misery.
This is just horrible!