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Original poster

To expect DH to shower more than twice a month

324 replies

IsItJustFuck1ngMe · 03/10/2016 22:31

As the title goes really. DH has become very shower averse now there is a slight nip in the air, and has confessed to a shower hiatus extending to 12 days Confused. Has dispensed with regular full showers in favour of a 'whores wash' in the sink.

Maintains he is clean, I disagree and thinking of picking him up and putting him in the shower. DAILY. Regardless of screams and tantrums.

I'm not BU am I? Hmm. Unless in fact is a gremlins and melts???

OP posts:
imnotreally · 03/10/2016 23:15

Ew!!!! YANBU

DudeWheresMyVulva · 03/10/2016 23:15

Thing is, we no longer have to cope without showers.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 03/10/2016 23:16

God, I'm hurlling at the thought. When our bathroom was replaced last September, we had jug showers DAILY in the back garden. This was with an air temp below 14C. Because nurses and HGV drivers ming very quickly.

However, I soapdodged in my early teens, partly through unhappiness, and partly to repel bullies. There is something going on, and you need to find out what it is.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/10/2016 23:16

I agree that he should shower more often, but I don't understand people saying he smells - surely he's washing the smelly bits. Only issue would be feet and greasy hair eventually.

WorraLiberty · 03/10/2016 23:18

That's disgusting OP.

I regularly have to sit next to people like your DH on public transport and it's grim.

They swear blind they don't smell. The really do though, they just can't smell themselves.

Laughing at 'Whore's wash'.

It used to be called a 'Dirty woman's wash' when I was little Grin

AnyFucker · 03/10/2016 23:19

That's not a "quirk" it's just foul

PickAChew · 03/10/2016 23:21

Gwen - backs and chests get as greasy as faces. Feet and bellybuttons stink. There's only so many quick wipes of the smelly bits you can have.

Early adolescent DS1 is a bit soap aversive, but allows me to supervise/help with a scrub. After a week of showers, ranging from quick hse down of the essentials to as much as we could reach (some days just pits and nethers, but everything else still got a rinse), he still needed a good soak because his balls were as itchy as owt.

Chewingthecrud · 03/10/2016 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BestZebbie · 03/10/2016 23:22

I'll be the voice of dissent here - I agree that 12 days is too long between showers, but I think that a week between showers in autumn with a "smelly bits" wash everyday (pits, bits and feet imo) is fine unless he has a manual job, it is very hot at his workplace or he is going to the gym (etc :-p) and getting sticky - especially assuming that he wears a full set of clean clothes next to his body everyday, and uses deodorant. All the scent generating and scent-trapping areas of his body will still be getting washed constantly, and it seems unlikely that eg: the back surfaces of his arms etc are going to become offensive in a week if he doesn't break a sweat.

It isn't actually necessary to shower everyday in order to not smell/be "clean", and definitely not great to wash hair that often.

imwithspud · 03/10/2016 23:23

They swear blind they don't smell. The really do though, they just can't smell themselves.

It's a bit like smoking isn't it? I didn't realise how much smokers stunk of the stuff until I gave it up myself. Now I can't bear it.

katemess12 · 03/10/2016 23:23

Christ that's gross.

SpeckledyBanana · 03/10/2016 23:25

I had a lovely BF in my long distant student days. Lovely manners, kind hearted, generous, respectful, fun etc. etc. etc. But he wouldn't bathe properly and he whiffed, so he had to go.

exWifebeginsat40 · 03/10/2016 23:27

my first husband was a soap dodger. can confirm the Turin Shroud-like effect of a grim, waxy body on a fitted sheet.

ugh. get rid.

bloodyteenagers · 03/10/2016 23:28

I wouldn't share a room with the stinking heap. And as for sex, not a chance. If I didn't have a spare bed, he would be on the floor, and he would be cleaning his bedding and the floor.

QuestionableMouse · 03/10/2016 23:28

Once a week with proper washes in between wouldn't bother me too much- I sometimes only shower once a week if my skin is really bothering me.

One shower in two weeks is manky.

PurpleTango · 03/10/2016 23:29

He showers twice a month! And you still share a house with him? Why? He must stink! I was hospitalised recently. After day 2 I asked for a bath. It turns out I couldn't bath for medical reasons. I felt soo skanky! How are you still with him OP? Bleurgh!!! Do you still share his bed? - [vomit]

EatsShitAndLeaves · 03/10/2016 23:29

Does he think he's fucking Elizabeth I who "bathed once a month whether she needed it or not?"

We do not live in the 1500's...

Having a quick shower takes far less time than properly scrubbing your "bits" with a wash cloth.

If he thinks he can properly wash his undercarriage and pits with a flannel faster than a 5 min shower then he's not even doing that properly.

Greatblue0wl · 03/10/2016 23:29

Did you not notice that he wasn't using the shower? Maybe you have a big house and separate facilities or your routines are different.

DudeWheresMyVulva · 03/10/2016 23:29

I had a friend who thought it was somehow dangerous to wash more than once a week.

You could smell her across the room, and giving her a hug when we met was really unpleasant.

My favourite book, Madensky Square by Eva Ibbotson has a line where a hapless young lady tells the heroine that she has been told by her mother that she should not bathe very often; 'Because it interferes with one's natural oils'. The heroine replies firmly; 'My Dear. there is NOTHING that needs to be interfered with MORE than one's natural oils'.

WorraLiberty · 03/10/2016 23:30

Yes, I was thinking the same about smokers imwithspud, they're kind of 'nose blind' to the smell.

To those saying if he washes his 'smelly bits' he won't smell...

We sweat many smells out through every pore in our bodies. Spicy food/garlic/alcohol are just a few examples.

Leave that sweat on the body and you will definitely smell after a few days, but it's like wearing the same perfume or using the same fabric softener all the time...you just don't smell it and nor do those you live with necessarily.

RuggerHug · 03/10/2016 23:31

Pits and bits only? Ah here....is he sleeping in the shed or how are you tolerating his existence? If he stood under the shower for the time it takes him to brush his teeth he'd be fine(ish) but refusing....Urgh.

EastMidsMummy · 03/10/2016 23:32

It isn't actually necessary to shower everyday in order to not smell/be "clean", and definitely not great to wash hair that often.

It is for most people. Especially men, but also plenty of women who like to kid themselves their 'natural fragrance' is a joy to behold. And the thing that washing hair that often leads to is called 'clean hair.'

Gwenhwyfar · 03/10/2016 23:33

"We sweat many smells out through every pore in our bodies. Spicy food/garlic/alcohol are just a few examples."

If someone's drunk a lot, showering doesn't make a difference though. They just start sweating again and the alcohol smell comes out again. You have to drink quite a bit of it for that to happen though.
BO is mainly armpit odour. Washing 'pits and bits' is enough on a daily basis.

bloodyteenagers · 03/10/2016 23:34

And what about the shit crumbs, and the sweat from the arse crack? That smells.
The smells that stick to you from outside.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/10/2016 23:36

"Gwen - backs and chests get as greasy as faces. Feet and bellybuttons stink. There's only so many quick wipes of the smelly bits you can have. "

Backs and chests don't smell. I agree about feet, but my belly button has never smelled bad, but I suppose that can vary.

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