To expect DH to shower more than twice a month

[IsItJustFuck1ngMe]

As the title goes really. DH has become very shower averse now there is a slight nip in the air, and has confessed to a shower hiatus extending to 12 days . Has dispensed with regular full showers in favour of a 'whores wash' in the sink.

Maintains he is clean, I disagree and thinking of picking him up and putting him in the shower. DAILY. Regardless of screams and tantrums.

I'm not BU am I? . Unless in fact is a gremlins and melts???

looking - OMD I forgot that feet even exist!! What a terrifying thought.

Do you have whitewall tire cleaner in the UK? Your spouse sounds disgusting. Have you considered a sexual strike?

What does he do for a living?

'Have you considered a sexual strike?'

Considered? Who would even consider touching a minger like this with a 10-foot barge pole, much less shagging them?

😀 well said expat!
Starting to think either op's collapsed from asphyxia or is still wrestling with DH in the shower.

Seriously, how horrible. My ex had stinking breath for about 15 years, I just got so sick of it I couldn't have sex with him anymore. how hard is it to maintain hygiene/dental hygiene for fecks sake.

Infrequent to non-existent bathing was a genuine factor in leaving my husband. The nasty man smokes like a chimney and rarely bathes. He only brushed his teeth when he wanted sex, which left his mouth smelling and tasting like a mint-dusted toilet. He rarely cleans his clothes.

We've been divorced five years. I'm told his employer is actually having to draft a hygiene and cleanliness addendum to their office regs. Seriously. They spoken to him about it and he simply remains a minger. I prefer not to sit near him at school functions simply because the smell off him makes me ill.

So. YADNBU, and your DH should know that marriages have ended over this sort of thing! No one wants to be married to a disgusting smelly person. The "tops and tails" wash doesn't cut it.

Wow, some horrible stories here. I wouldn't last five minutes in an office with someone who stank. One poster says the kids are still telling dad he smells - he still doesn't care? Bizarre.

Fucking disgusting.

DoubleNegativePanda

Was he like that when/before you married him?

C3pu not quite so bad in the beginning as it is now. In retrospect there were some flags I should have seen. But it got really bad while I was pregnant and on bedrest and then never got better. Since we divorced, his hygiene is much worse than it's ever been.

I do remember thinking that his grooming left much to be desired, and didn't like it. But I had very low self esteem and truly thought (at 24) that I'd probably never have another chance, and put up with it. We were married almost 12 years before I'd had enough of the stink (among other things...he's also narcissistic, controlling and emotionally abusive). I'm quite a different person now. I've dated quite a few people in the last few years but my bullshit tolerance is now set at zero and I tend to ditch a little too easily at this point.

Panda "I tend to ditch a little too easily at this point."

given some of the things I see on MN, I would say that's not possible!

One poster says the kids are still telling dad he smells - he still doesn't care? Bizarre.

One of the many things that give me great pleasure in life is when my children breathe deeply as we snuggle and tell me that they love the way I smell. A parent with bad hygiene is a viscerally unpleasant memory to leave a child with.

I don't shower every day - I have depression and intense fatigue (from depression related insomnia), and some days it is all I can do to get myself out of bed. I do wash my hair, though - because having nasty, dirty hair depresses me even more.

I use a strong and effective, unperfumed deodorant, plus a nice perfume, and I don't think I smell (and no-one has ever told me I do, either).

You ask keep going on about his sinking, but he won't stink as he washes the smelly bits daily. His back or legs army going to smell are they?

It's not something of do myself, but I don't seem to think it's as gross as everyone else does.
But then I love the phrase whore's wash too.

This would put me off him for good

museum my DD1 has always loved how I smell (I shower every day and only wear the same perfume). When she was younger she used to love wrapping herself up in my dressing gown 'because it smells of you, Mummy' [melts]

My boyfriend showers once/twice a day depending on if he's been exercising, but didn't believe that he needed deodorant when we first met. He honestly couldn't smell himself but once I had to wash a jumper after he'd visited and hugged me and sat with his arm around my shoulders.

Because I liked him, and knew I did wash, after a few weeks I gently asked how he washed his tshirts, suggesting carefully that they got a touch whiffy and gave him some oxygen bleach washing powder. He was embarrassed but grateful that I'd brought it up. Boil washed his tshirts and started using deodorant.

I'm now able to tell him, kindly, if he needs an extra scrub or clean tshirt or spray of deodorant, and occasionally vice versa. I also compliment him when he smells nice as aroma can work the other way too

Reading the other tales of smelly unhygienic partners I'm very glad he was open minded enough to take on board my comments.

Slightly puzzled by folk suggesting that he won't smell as he is washing the smelly bits.

He won't smell of unwashed cock/balls/arsehole/bum crack assuming he does it properly in the sink but he will smell of unwashed skin - sebaceous gland secretions are strongest in the genitals & armpits but still smell pretty rank on the chest & back & unwashed hair just reeks - sweat, sebaceous secretions & cooking smells, maybe smoke. Horrible.

I had an acquaintance at Uni with long hair she kept in a French plait & washed once a week, washing just her fringe every couple of days. Her head stank & she was a medical student

"still smell pretty rank on the chest & back"

As I've mentioned, I've never smelt any of these things. Someone said they smell 'musty'. Really not sure what is meant by this. I've never though "oh, that's a smelly back".

" unwashed hair just reeks"

Yes, but if you don't have greasy hair it will be fine for quite a few days.

Not sure about cooking smells. If you worry about anything that comes into contact with cooking smells, you have to change your shoes every day surely?

Gwen, shoes don't usually absorb smells that way. I don't know if it's particular fabrics - sometimes if I wear a cardi at mum's when dad's cooking up a smelly storm, I have to wash that, but not jeans. I can't figure out what that's about.

Also, my former neighbour had a special dish which I used to refer to (to myself) as oignon a la oignon, but one day we went to the pub after he had cooked this speciality - and his clothes didn't smell.

No update
With posters in a state
Of anticipation
I fear OP's been overpowered
Or maybe he showered
But the relationship soured
Either way
I hope OP is okay
The ideal outcome
Would be that he's clean
That OP didn't have to be mean
All are in a good state of mind
And keeping in mind
That cleanliness is next to MN

Simply cant read all responses due to almost vomiting, gross gross gross

This thread is so disgusting. Really OP, he must have fungal infections going on all over the place.