To expect DH to shower more than twice a month

[IsItJustFuck1ngMe]

As the title goes really. DH has become very shower averse now there is a slight nip in the air, and has confessed to a shower hiatus extending to 12 days . Has dispensed with regular full showers in favour of a 'whores wash' in the sink.

Maintains he is clean, I disagree and thinking of picking him up and putting him in the shower. DAILY. Regardless of screams and tantrums.

I'm not BU am I? . Unless in fact is a gremlins and melts???

I sometimes deliberately skip one day if I'm not working nor exercising. I have dry skin and missing a day does help that a lot. The kids also tend to be every other day not daily but still primary age. But 12 days is gross.

Surely a "whore's wash" is more uncomfortable than the few seconds between showering and getting cuddled up into a towel?

Standing naked/semi naked in a cold room splashing my bits with water from the sink sounds hideous. Give me a hot shower and my naice towel dressing gown any day.
Or every day, as it happens. Because, you know, I like being clean.

Grim grim grim grim.

Byefelisha's approach would make sense for moderate to severe MH issues.
But to say that some men just "haven't been taught by their mothers" is patronising.
Adults should know to wash frequently. It's not like ironing where you can kind of get away with it and its a learned skill. It's washing FFS.

Grim. He wouldn't be sleeping in my bed!

That's just grim

Even at camp I shower every other day. Any less frequent and I feel gross (even though everyone is in the same boat and I genuinely think people don't smell as much when they soend literally all their time outdoors)

I have depression and there are days when I can't face a shower, and due to depression I might not be very active or go outside. In a bad phase I might miss two days of showers.

I feel like showering is a chore, but I'm an adult and I prefer the chore to smelling myself and feeling grubby. I generally shower daily

Revolting.

Often my DH doesn't bother getting clean if he's not going anywhere for the weekend - I hate it - he just keeps on the manky old t-shirt he's slept in & looks like a tramp. His pillow in particular stinks.

He has what he terms "a French shower" which just involves spraying on extra antiperspirant

Grim.
I had a bath Sunday evening and have only washed with a flannel since and I CANT WAIT to have a hot shower or bath when I finish work tonight. I feel grubby now, can't imagine leaving it another week

Furry. My dh is French and his shower entails a soapy rub of every square centimetre of hairy flesh with scented shower gel. Daily and more if he does physical work or exercises. It takes him at least 10 mins. Tell your dh to have a proper "French shower".

Cripes, OP
When he gets into bed, he scatters 12 days poo crumbs on your sheets
Tell him to sleep in a tent next to the compost heap - along with the rest of the rotting remains

He must stink. Lazy grime bag!

He sounds like a 10 year old boy. He could have a good shower in less than 5 mins. No excuse. Soap and scrub the privates, pits and feet. Done.

Mummy that sounds much more reasonable!

I will often have two showers a day, have an excellent immune system and do not have dry skin.
I have my morning shower and then work in a very busy and hot environment on my feet all day, add to that a hot and cramped journey home and I cannot wait to get in that shower as soon as I set foot in the house! It's not like I'm in there half an hour at a time, it's a few minutes for my after work one unless I'm washing my hair.
I feel clean again and also wakes me up so that I can get cracking with whatever I want to get done when I'm home.

I would feel all kinds of wrong not having a shower of a morning let alone going for days without. Hoping there aren't MH issues at play here though as other people have also mentioned. Worth considering though if this is a new thing.

Haven't read the full thread but could he be depressed? I have struggled with depression before and could have easily gone a week without showering during a bad spell.

Shower in the morning when I get up and a bath at night here. I moisturise afterwards and have no problem with dry skin.

I'm a two bath a day person. I grew up in a house where you got two baths a week only, cos my father didn't want more and wouldn't let anyone else. Since I've been paying the bills, I've bathed as much as I want. Each bath is generally ten minutes though. I don't soak.

"Since I've been paying the bills, I've bathed as much as I want."

And what about all the water you're wasting?

Well if she's enjoys her baths she doesn't see it as wasted does she?

Getting yourself clean daily is NOT wasting water it's basic personal hygiene!

Two baths a day is wasting water it doesn't matter if you're in there 10 minutes or 60.

I Once couldnt shower for six weeks, I'd broken my leg and there was no way I could get upstairs and was in a wheelchair. I tried but it was impossible, our stairs spiral part way up. I got partway up but the crutches got stuck on the spiral part. DH worked offshore and had no choice but to leave me and go back to work. One daughter lived abroad and the other was away on holiday so for three weeks I was on my own. The spare bed was brought down and put into the family room. I was under strict instructions not to go near the stairs. I had no intention of breaking the other leg.
I wheeled myself to the kitchen sink and had a good strip down wash morning and night I stood on my good leg and kneeled on the wheelchair with the broken one. I also washed my hair over the sink every other day. I didn't stink.

Two baths a day is completely excessive and a massive waste of water.

Yuk. Just boak.

Skanky tramp!

Is your shower outdoors?
Unless it is I can't really understand why he wouldn't want to shower-it feels pleasant to most people. And standing at the sink for a 'French bath' as my grandmother called them, is surely colder than having a warm shower.

The worst thing is not even that he's dirty, it's that he doesn't seem to care that you mind very much that he is dirty.