To expect DH to shower more than twice a month

[IsItJustFuck1ngMe]

As the title goes really. DH has become very shower averse now there is a slight nip in the air, and has confessed to a shower hiatus extending to 12 days . Has dispensed with regular full showers in favour of a 'whores wash' in the sink.

Maintains he is clean, I disagree and thinking of picking him up and putting him in the shower. DAILY. Regardless of screams and tantrums.

I'm not BU am I? . Unless in fact is a gremlins and melts???

Omg that is disgusting I could not share a bed or sit near someone who doesn't arrive least shower every other day.

It's much more effort faffing about with flannels than standing under a shower what's wrong with him.

Just ew.

He must be pretty revolting after about a week - eurgh!

No time to read all the responses but my dh showers every morning without fail before he goes to work.
He's gone to the gym tonight and will shower again when he comes in. He will also shower before and after a haircut!

Sabine you go for it with your two baths a day. My record is 3. When we remodelled our house I specially got a massive freestanding tub. It's my little daily luxury, bubbles, candles, good book and occasionally a small gin :) I adore bathtime. As to not showering/bathing daily, that is yuk!

My ex husband showered maybe once a week, brushed his teeth every few days and would wear the same clothes/undies (including sleeping in them) for days at a time.
Proper grim.
It was one of the many reasons I left him!
He sometimes complained our sex life was shit... I couldn't bear him touching me! Bleurgh. Makes me feel sick just thinking about it.

gunsandbanjos Urrgh!, that is vile not changing his underwear every day at least!.

Omg this made me laugh so much ... Poo water

This sort of thread seems to pop up every so often on MN. I feel very sorry for anyone who comes into contact with someone like this as they will be greasy, dirty and smell really foul.

It must be worse if you're married to them because at least you can move away from someone on (say) the bus or a colleague. If you live with them you've got no choice.

MHI or medical conditions such as psoriasis or eczema aside there is no excuse for this. It's so nasty and disrespectful.

Just beyond grim...I can't believe anyone thinks only their bits and pits get dirty?

What about the dried sweat and sebum that accumulates on the rest of your skin? Or 'toe jam'? Or greasy hair?

Ick.

I do hope you manage to get him in the shower tonight wonder what his work colleagues think (or have I missed something and he doesn't work?)

Ewww he's being completely unreasonable! That is disgusting. I'd ban going near him till he manages daily showering.

My FIL is worse, he does a strip wash at the sink every day, and may shower no more than 5x a year. I'm not even joking he stinks to high heaven (that's both BO and Breath) he doesn't brush his teeth and his hands are stained with tobacco and whatever else he doesn't clean off. I honestly don't know how MIL puts up with it.

I have never accepted a meal or drink off him, and whenever he visits which is rare I spray antibacterial spray on everything he's touched as it just generally feels dirty, He's constantly complaining about being ill too... how about have a shower and get cleaned up so bacteria isn't clinging to you weeks on end.

I don't expect him to shower every day but every other day surely wouldn't be too much of a hindrance! He's as bald as a babies arse anyway so it's not like he has to spend extra time washing his hair.

Rank! How disrespectful!

Take him swimming every couple of days.

Good exercise and a free bath in the bargain too!

I bet the sofa/armchair where he sits stinks too, utterly gross.
He wouldn't be allowed in the house if he were my other half, he'd be eating, sleeping elsewhere, like the garden shed!

My fil rarely bathed or washed...............

I wonder how some of you would cope with my OH 😂 He has a shower once every 3 days, while washing his face, pits & bits every morning I must add, but then he has a very good reason for being so disgusting, gross etc as many people call it. He is on medication that he can't shower while he's on it. He doesn't stink and has a huge fear of doing so hence the mass amounts of deodorant and aftershave I have to buy and yes he also is literally dripping in sweat at times 😂

Sweetie I'm wondering what kind of medication?

OP please come back, I'm worried you've passed out somewhere!

Unless I've missed something up thread, I think people may be being a tiny bit harsh? As someone who suffers with depression I have had times when I really struggle with anything at all, and showers seem impossible. Self neglect can be a part of something else.

Elle many mentioned that possibility.

my partner is exactly the same! im so fed up with it, he has a condition called dyspraixa maybe look that up and see if any of the other symtoms he has ? or its just pure lazyness ahah good luck!

I just read the whole thread hoping for a shower update! Please come back and tell us he's clean, op? And you've washed the bed sheets?

Well firstly, that is completely rank. I sometimes get irritated by my DHs frequent long showers and baths but will be more tolerant after reading what horror others experience.

And secondly the expression isn't a whore's wash its a "whore's bath". As in - it's what a whore does instead of a bath. It's a very old expression.

onlineslangdictionary.com/meaning-definition-of/whore's-bath

I don't think the saying is all that offensive to use here (although I wouldn't use it in front of my DC) just suitably descriptive of a "perfunctory wash of the armpits and genitals" similar to that we might assume (in ye olden days before quick showers were readily available) were undertaken by a busy prostitute between clients.

Does he have some form of phobia or mental health problem because theres no way any reasonable human being would consider going that long without a proper clean reasonable. I feel unclean if I go more than 2 days. I don't know how or why you live with it.

I don't actually shower every day, but I shower at least every other day: generally 4 or 5 showers and one lovely soak in the bath each week. DH showers every day as he teaches PE, and the 4 year old shower/bathes 5 times a week.

When I was a child, until I was about 11, I only had one bath a week (so did the rest of the family) and thinking back now I can't imagine doing that by choice!

Going almost 2 weeks would be intolerable!

As others have said, do you think your DH has any signs of health problems, e.g. depression or sensory issues? If not, I would be issuing some kind of ultimatum if he doesn't shower regularly