Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think cock swinging isn't normal?

250 replies

laureywilliams · 02/10/2016 22:02

My new man swings his cock around in a circle.

Actual cock swinging. Not metaphorical.

He says all men do this to show off to their girlfriends. I've never seen anything like it.(admittedly my experience is somewhat limited)

I don't mind, its funny, if a little strange. I just want to know if its normal.

OP posts:
metaphoricus · 02/10/2016 23:49

My XH used to do it - purely for comedic effect. That wasn't why we divorced btw.

AverageGayLadAtChristmas · 02/10/2016 23:53

Fooky Grin

Oldraver · 02/10/2016 23:54

MULVA....[GRIN]

MistressMolecules · 02/10/2016 23:57

Oh my god I am howling here! What the heck is a mangina though? Hmm

DH has never done the helicopter, in fact I had never even heard of it until this thread and I think if I ask him to do it for a giggle I may be sleeping on the couch!

WomanActually · 03/10/2016 00:13

Dh has a specific pair of bottoms that make an hilarious elephant, he knows when he wears them I'm gonna ask him to do it so he just comes walking down in them, already elephanted. :)

travellinglighter · 03/10/2016 00:14

Afore mentioned billycopter specialist also does the elephant but his favourite trick is to ask if you want to see his new watch and as you glance down at his wrist at crotch level you can see his dick wrapped around his wrist.

MrsC2810 · 03/10/2016 00:19

MrC has on occasion showed me the helicopter 😂 If I had a cock, I'd spend a lot of time doing it too.

Just after we got married, I was putting washing into the machine and he came out naked and did the whole 'put the lotion in the basket' thing from silence in the lambs 😂😂

Nofunkingworriesmate · 03/10/2016 01:00

When I slept with men, I occasionaly got a phlasid cheeky slap ( face or bum) prior to insertion ( again, in face or bum)

Which neither alarmed nor aroused me
I'd take it in the spirit its intended, harmless willy waving
If u wish to deter, I'd respond with titty twilissling or vulva ventriloquism - always puts paid to that shinanagins in my experience

Halle71 · 03/10/2016 01:03

Travellinglighter - my DH also does the 'wristwatch'.
What about the 'squashed rat' - pushing your naked nether regions against glass to, er, impress people outside?! I've seen him do it but for the life of me I can't remember where - talked about than practised.
DS (then 2) did it to MIL on holiday though.

KellyBoo800 · 03/10/2016 06:50

My DH doesn't swing it in circles but will stand there, wiggle his hips and swing it from side to side so it makes a clapping noise.

It's actually adorable because he has a little smile on his face and has his arms out and bent at the elbows to centre himself. Bloody love him. Hilarious.

FayKorgasm · 03/10/2016 07:03

I asked dh to do it after reading this thread this morning and I have never laughed so much.

Costacoffeeplease · 03/10/2016 07:07

Jeez I'd just point and laugh until he put it away - according to a very posh, well-spoken friend of my gran's, when Nureyev was performing on TV in the 60s or 70s 'there is nothing beautiful in the male form' - which has become a family standing joke

ShebaShimmyShake · 03/10/2016 07:31

I've been in some weird places and met some weird people but this is new to me. I'm absolutely cracking up at these posts but I think I might never have sex again....

Sancia · 03/10/2016 07:35

Um... no. No clacking, whirling, shaking or drawing faces.

I had a younger boyfriend once but I got rid. I didn't find youth al that amusing :)

ThoraGruntwhistle · 03/10/2016 07:37

My DH has never done this, at least not in front of me anyway. I think I'm quite glad.

Eastpoint · 03/10/2016 07:44

I went to see Puppetry of the Penis a long time ago and can scarcely remember it now. Luckily.

crystalballbroke · 03/10/2016 07:44

I'm worried now that the "Bell dance" has yet to be mentioned. Confused

PirateCatOvenGloveOption · 03/10/2016 07:46

My DH stands with his back to me and raises individual arse cheeks as he di di dums 'The Stripper' or any other music. He is brilliant at it and is one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

steff13 · 03/10/2016 07:52

It's called the Helicopter and it's what I'd do all day if I had a penis

Totally. It's all I'd ever do.

Howyoualldoworkme · 03/10/2016 07:53

I've had two husbands and have three sons and never witnessed any of this! I must lead a sheltered life Grin
I'm taking notes though...what is a Bell Dance?

Dozer · 03/10/2016 07:55

Grin "mulva"

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 03/10/2016 08:00

My ex used to do this every morning - apparently it was his way of waving goodbye HmmGrin He could also make it "dance" to the beat of music. Odd man.

My friend once walked into a subway in town and was treated to the sight of a student doing it for a group of his friends Shock, funnily enough she was no longer in the mood for a foot longer! Grin

SoupDragon · 03/10/2016 08:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2kids2dogsnosense · 03/10/2016 08:07

Hilarious! Snorting tea all over my keyboard here.

SoupDragon · 03/10/2016 08:08

What the heck is a mangina though

It's when the man tucks he penis back between his legs so he looks female. Clearly not a fake vagina though given this is MN and we aren't allowed to use the wrong term....