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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be confused that dh has said I should get a part time job

178 replies

oopsIdiditagain21 · 30/09/2016 17:32

DH has a good well paid job and we have always agreed that he goes out to work and I support him by looking after home, DC, him etc. I thought we were both happy with this arrangement and he has only recently said he couldn't do what he does without me doing what I do so he can relax, do hobbies and so on when he is not working. I don't complain about my role and have always felt lucky. Then today he said I should get a part time job to get out the house. I do have a hobby I love and friends so it's not like I'm stuck in all the time. How do I take this?

OP posts:
myfavouritecolourispurple · 04/10/2016 08:27

Very interesting discussion. I worked 4 days a week from the word go as I was the main breadwinner. So I went back to work when ds was 7 months old, he went to nursery and I paid for a full-time place. I switched jobs when he was 2, he also changed nursery and stayed there until he went to school and worked full-time, but was able to work from home one day a week in that job. I got made redundant from that job after a year and worked for a law firm FT. That was when it got difficult because I had to be in the office every day and I just couldn't do the hours required.

So I changed jobs again and went into a well paid professional role, but it was definitely more of the mummy track. I was there for 4 years, working FT and then I had a year out working in a very badly paid role locally, but that showed that we could manage on my earning a lower salary and that working part-time was the way forward.

So now I am back in a well paid professional role. I work 4 days spread over 5, so effectively school hours, and I work from home most days.

It is the mummy track - but I'm not sure I would have made it in my profession even if I had not had kids, or a stay at home husband.

I think there are a lot more options available now, I know people with and without kids who do contract work - so you might have a 6 month contract full-time but then you can take a break between contracts eg for the summer holidays. I work at home. It is easier to fit work in - so to the person who feels demoralised in their current job and is one bad maternity leave from giving up, I wonder if you should look for a different role or even different career before you give up? I'm sure a solution exists for you.

As for the OP, I don't think it's unreasonable for the sole earner to wonder when/if they can stop being the sole earner.

Headofthehive55 · 04/10/2016 09:46

Yes I do think it's often a question of where there is a will there is a way..
I'm always wanting more though!

MrsSchadenfreude · 05/10/2016 13:44

Slightly off track, but I saw a fridge magnet yesterday that, for me, summed up life as a SAHM of teenagers or older children: So little to do, so much time in which to do it.

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