DW says my claim that normal middle aged couples have sex once a week is wildly OTT

[DadSeeksWifeInstructionManual]

We're both 51 (and DS is 7). We've averaged sex about once every 3 weeks for the last 6 years. But that's only because I keep asking - otherwise it would be never happen.
She enjoys it when we get round to it, but never initiates as she's tends to get carried away with her latest book/ tv show/ marking of homework etc. (BTW I do all the shopping and cooking).

Is once a week unreasonable?

Fair enough Jess, I reckon it's good to be sceptical and objective and I think you've probably managed that better than I have.

One of my faults is a desire to assume the optimistic, rather than the realistic...

keeping I am not sure what your idea of operating a partnership is, but no partnership should mean you have to have sex when you don't wish to consent!!

"Yes, we do all that, but she goes to bed before she's too tired only so she can read her latest book. Sex would mean she didn't have time to read."

Get her to read 50 shades of grey or something in that genre!!

Keep. I don't think that's a fault; it's a bloody good way to approach life!

lack of libido post menopause can be related to reduced estrogen levels, this is a permanent state unless you supplement with hrt
This is why men seek younger women
no doubt it is one of the reasons, sadly for the men hot young women tend not to be interested in 50+ men, unless said men are prepared to pay for sexual services

dating sites are rammed with older men looking for nsa because their wives have gone off sex, as we know for the ashley maddison hack in the main those men only got a response from bots or cam girls.

The OP may leave his wife but the pool of women looking for sex with men his age is pretty small compared to the ocean of men who arent getting their needs met

Fenella - I agree completely, I was talking about chores, not sex.

If the two people in a couple decide to have an open marriage its really no one elses business.

I would not want to have sex with a man who wouldnt want sex with me. So i completely agree.

Men do tend to go for younger women sometimes................then you often find its those younger women that end up in a sexless relationship.

If we go the same way as Japan it wont be just the older folk who lose interest....
Shrinking Population: How Japan Fell Out of Love with Love
Tulip Mazumdar explores how young people's rejection of intimacy and their embracing of singledom has left Japan's authorities struggling to tackle rapid population decline.

Traditionally, the working husband and the stay-at-home housewife defined a Japanese family. Now, with society changing, young people are choosing independence over 'troublesome' relationships. The result is an uncontrolled decline in population, where a decreasing birth rate and rapidly aging population paints a bleak outlook for Japan's future.

Tulip meets the eligible men and women who are choosing careers, fun and freedom over, marriage, boyfriends or girlfriends. Such is their determination to be independent, few want or have time for partners - let alone indulging in sexual relations. For those who are lonely or in need of a human connection, relationship substitutes fill a void. Theirs is a life unfamiliar to the nation's parents and grandparents.

With a generation almost refusing to procreate, the Japanese government faces something of a crisis. Tulip meets with officials to hear of the actions they're taking to arrest the decline in population including, remarkably, the funding of speed dating events.

With women taking up fresh work opportunities and grasping hold of new equalities, can government intervention defuse the demographic time bomb?

We weren't talking about post menopause, but during peri menopause when your hormones can be all over the place.

And you should not be taking HRT post menopause to increase libido. You can live 40 years after your menopause. It would be dangerous to take HRT for this.

And on a positive note, after being a bit meh for a couple of years whilst peri menopausal, my own libido seems to have made a comeback now my periods have stopped. So it's a win win for me then

DadWithInoffensiveUsername Just got around to reading your last post and there was a tread like this one on a Mens health type discussion board a few years ago now where what you say was related almost word for word by some 500 odd posters.

If i could remember the URL I'd put it here . It was from mainly young ish men who were all married or in long term relationships and the sex was there before they married or lived together and then it faded, sometimes with the advent of children sometimes not it just faded away.

They did all the things described to make the woman fell better i.e. housework, child rearing etc, treats, trying to make her feel good and many more. The end result was the same, very little sex and what there was of it was "just hurry up and get it over with as I do not what to be doing this" or simply no sex at all.

Most all other aspects of their relationships were fine in most all cases. It was just this little or no interest in sex of any shape or form it was as if the woman had just switched off and had no interest or had lost interest.

I think i saved that URL on an old PC somewhere if i get a moment I'll dig it up and anyone interested read it and draw your own conclusions. FWIW a lot of the posters IIRC were from the USA.