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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What is the rudest thing a fellow parent has said to you?

360 replies

weresquirrel · 28/09/2016 21:41

Another parent whose child is in my child's class made a comment about my younger child being ugly Confused. It didn't register at first (I think I was in shock) and I only really took in her comment an hour or so after she had said it.

What is the rudest thing a fellow parent has said to you?

OP posts:
headinhands · 29/09/2016 07:45

I still go to lengths to avoid her. So these gems do stay with you for a long time.

AlmaMartyr · 29/09/2016 07:51

A close friend about my deaf, SEN son while telling me none of my friends (and their children) wanted to see us anymore:

"Maybe your son can find some other friends who are more his developmental level."

I couldn't stop crying for a day after that conversation.

verytiredmummy1 · 29/09/2016 07:52

My dad said that by not letting my exclusively breastfed newborn child be babysat overnight I was too controlling and my children will hate me when they're older. Lovely.

itunscrewstheotherway · 29/09/2016 07:54

I also had the "I'm not going to put my dc into childcare as I don't want to palm him off onto other people" - this was just after I'd said my dc attended a childminder's part-time. This woman was a social worker as well - I remember thinking, how can you be a social worker with such poor people skills?!

fairmac · 29/09/2016 07:58

When my dd died at 2 months old from meningitis a friend said 'at least she was only 2 months old. Would have been so much worse if she'd been older, like 9 or 10'. Didn't see much of her after that......

toastymarshmallow · 29/09/2016 08:09

I was once told that my 2 year old (!) was immature compared to her child who was 3 months older.

When you drag your kids up and chuck them out into the neighbourhood at 3 so they can "find their clique" they probably have to grow up quickly. Poor child has a new daddy every few months.

Telling me my 2 year old is immature was a compliment, no matter how patronisingly you said it.

Wheelerdeeler · 29/09/2016 08:11

"Oh here is the part time mother"....... as I unusually arrived to pick ds up from school one day.

I replied loudly that if I didn't work, ds wouldn't have a home......

Parky22 · 29/09/2016 08:20

DD received an honour at school. (Quite a surprise to us but lovely to receive)
School mum:"Good choice, it's about time the school realised they can't always choose the brightest girl" Me:
"Blushha ha chose the loudest one" (really cross with myself for not defending her but in a very public place with lots of kids around)
School mum "yes, with the pushiest mother"
I was speechless

BoSelectaBigBiff · 29/09/2016 08:20

cathaka, my FIL said something similar to me. When DS1 (his first grandchild) was born, he couldn't stop saying how EVERYTHING about him was like HIS side of the family. Even the way he pushed his blanket off him in his pram was like FIL, apparently.

When DS2 was born with a rare genetic disorder, FIL's first reaction was '"well, that can't have come from OUR side of the family, there's no history of it". Confused

Which I found extremely hurtful. There was no history of it on my side of the family either, but as it turns out it was due to my (and my DM and DGM's) faulty gene, and we were all having to cope with the guilt (however irrational) at having unknowingly passed it down to DS2.

Allegorygirl · 29/09/2016 08:29

What is it with the gripes against working mums at the school pick ups Hmm
I was told when picking up an only child that I 'put my career before having a dc2'
This is after 2 mc and 2 failed ivf trying very hard for dc2.
Just presumed my life as I was in a suit

TheSultanofPingu · 29/09/2016 08:29

"You're not a 'proper' parent until you have a daughter"
I have 3 sons.

ChunkyMcBitch · 29/09/2016 08:29

Shortly after DS1 died, a 'friend' was discussing their new bigger car. I complimented her on it to be told 'well we needed one having three children, you don't have that problem'.

Only1scoop · 29/09/2016 08:30

Fair Flowerswhat a ridiculous and vile thing to hear.
Awful

AttilaTheMeerkat · 29/09/2016 08:32

The woman (wife of one of DHs friends) who made the pronouncement in a restaurant that, "all special needs children need to be placed in special schools".

I am so very proud of my son who has learning difficulties.

It took all my self control and then some to not completely tear her a new one. Have not seen her socially since.

VanillaSugarandChristmasSpice · 29/09/2016 08:35

Your house looks very LIVED in.

Smidgenpigeon · 29/09/2016 08:39

A nasty woman, who knew my ds was born after multiple miscarriages, told me he would grow up to "bored, lonely and selfish" if I didn't "provide" him with a sibling.

I could have slapped her.

VanillaSugarandChristmasSpice · 29/09/2016 08:40

Flowers for everyone. Having read this thread, my experience has been pretty tame.

claraschu · 29/09/2016 08:42

"Well I could never be a kept woman..." Comment on me being a SAHM to my 3 kids.

I was talking about how I wished I could find more work, and was struggling.

Elendon · 29/09/2016 08:42

Wasn't said to me directly, but ex mil said to my mum after the birth of my second daughter, in a derogatory and sneering tone, "Another girl". It was the first thing she said to her. My mum was stunned! Second daughter has just this summer got a first from The University of Manchester!

SusanneLinder · 29/09/2016 10:07

Dh's Aunt...who we all ignore cos she is a cow, on finding out my daughter had Aspergers stated that" oh dont worry, she'll grow out of it"Angry
Same woman ignores one of her very lovely grandchildren because he has Downs ...

Funnyface1 · 29/09/2016 10:10

Fairmac that is so horrible. I can't believe the ugliness of some people, what a cruel thing to say. Sending you kind thoughts.

CuddlesAndCupcakes · 29/09/2016 10:17

Last term when my 5 year old DS was in nursery, I was having a conversation with his best friends mum, I told her my son has sickle cell anaemia and she answered "what is his life expectancy?" I guess some people don't think before they ask.

SunsofAlanKey · 29/09/2016 10:22

It is normally my MIL who makes old/rude remarks. She adores my nieces (sIL's kids), loves mine but is pretty judgemental. My DD was wearing a new dress - looked sweet. MIL said 'What a lovely dress, that will look fantastic on DN1 when you pass it on'. My DD and DS are quite quiet, self-contained and generally equable kids, they are approaching teen years and she is almost gloating that they will become difficult, stroppy nightmares and it will be payback time. Why would you wish miserable teen years on your grandchildren????

PorridgeHoneyCake · 29/09/2016 10:26

I was told that it appears I love my horse more than my daughter. This was because I still rode once a week after my daughter was born and dared to continue working whereas I should have (according to BIL and SIL) become a SAHM entirely focussed on my child.

Original poster
weresquirrel · 29/09/2016 10:39

I've just thought of another one (Olenna this also happened a few years ago so maybe don't read it as it might make you apoplectic with rage Wink). I met an old boss in the street and we chatted and I told him I had two dc of the same sex and he said "Oh dear, nevermind". He had two dc of the opposite sex so presumably felt sorry for me. I couldn't think of anything witty to say back to him but he was a dickhead and an awful boss and was constantly rude to customers.

OP posts:
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