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AIBU?

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Original poster

What is the rudest thing a fellow parent has said to you?

360 replies

weresquirrel · 28/09/2016 21:41

Another parent whose child is in my child's class made a comment about my younger child being ugly Confused. It didn't register at first (I think I was in shock) and I only really took in her comment an hour or so after she had said it.

What is the rudest thing a fellow parent has said to you?

OP posts:
myfavouritecolourispurple · 30/11/2016 13:47

I can't think of anything. Maybe because I always worked 4days/FT when ds was small so didn't come into contact with other mums much. I do remember a very disapproving face when I said I was going back to work 4 days a week when ds was 7 months old.

I dare say they call(ed) me fit to burn in my absence! Ah well what the eye doesn't see and all that.

giantpurplepeopleeater · 30/11/2016 13:55

A now-ex friend told me that I needed professional help and that my parenting was damaging my then 18 month old DS.

She knew at the time that I was suffering PND, DS had had a massiver operation a few months earlier, and I had spent a few hours with her - the first time I'd seen her in months.

She told me she was trying to help and was worried about me.

I turned up the next day at my mother's in tears asking her if it was true and they just weren't telling me. My mother (whom I saw on an almost daily basis at that point) said she was talking out of her arse. But it took me a long while to believe that, as the PND meant I had zero confidence.

I actually think its probably the rudest and nastiest thing anyone has ever said to me.

genehuntswife · 30/11/2016 14:07

Some lovely woman saying to me on finding I was a SAHM ...oh I couldn't do that, I need to use my brain everyday. Righto love!!

CruCru · 30/11/2016 15:58

It wasn't said to me but another mum got her nanny to tell me that she didn't want her daughter to play with my son any more because she misbehaved afterwards.

The children had just turned two and my son didn't hit / kick / spit etc but was an ordinary toddler.

I was really quite put out but found my equilibrium soon enough.

lollylou2876 · 30/11/2016 15:59

minesapintofwine

Shocking reminds me of ex best friend, I waited 7 years to conceive. we were having a coffee with another friend & she said yes you had the baby but you didn't really give birth because you had an epidural, insinuating I wasn't a real mother because I hadn't experienced the pain, instead i had quite a pleasant and relaxed labour! - which was for medical reasons I might add.

Ptolemy123 · 30/11/2016 20:19

Our youngest has sn, so we've had lots of things. Things like, "gosh, he's mad isn't he?" and "are they trying to get help for little Ptolemy, my daughter was telling me about some of the stuff he does,"
When I had my eldest, my rota was 2 days a week but first week was mon, Wednesday, second week was Wednesday, Friday. This meant I had to take him to a nursery one day a week. I used to use it as my cleaning and jobs day. someone I know asked where he was, when I told her, she said, "well, don't you live a life like a princess?"

lilyborderterrier · 30/11/2016 20:27

About my baby girl who had just had an anaphylactic reaction to formula as I was struggling to feed her after 6 months of trauma on both our parts and she was finally diagnosed with a severe dairy allergy. " Oh at least you get free formula" Angry

biggles50 · 01/12/2016 10:17

Op that's so mean, I hope you're getting lots of support here, sometimes it helps to hear other awful stories. My son has a severe stammer, when he was little he was playing with an ex friend's son. Her son broke something and she said "lucky biggles junior didn't break because he wouldn't be able to speak up for himself! "

user1470997562 · 01/12/2016 10:34

I think it was the PTA woman. I put my name down on a chart for the cake stall and she bellowed in a loud voice in the middle of the playground "Oh no, you're not cake stall material!". I've yet to discover the special talents needed to sell cakes. But still think of her as a huge knob years later.

Quite a good friend would make small comments about my parenting when we had our first dc. Her first was one of those who barely moved, would have their head in a book most of the day. My first was like a jack russell - always had to be moving, picking things on shelves, opening cupboards, had to watch like a hawk. Threw themselves out of the cot and over child gates. But fairly normal I thought on the whole. Then she had her second - ha ha ha.

Veganmeredith · 01/12/2016 11:57

If your dd ate meat she wouldn't look like a starved Ethiopian...... yes really! I laughed and said if you eat more veg and less meat then global warming wouldn't be a issue thus helping less developed countries! some people are just stupid!!!

OhWotIsItThisTime · 02/12/2016 06:38

Being asked 'is he alright?' (Head tilt.) and it being inferred I must have done something wrong as ds1 cried a lot, barely slept and walked late. He was a Velcro baby who was focusing on learning to speak. Now he's top of his year and pretty good at sport.

LarrytheCucumber · 02/12/2016 06:43

I was holding a nursery photo of DD and another mother said 'Oh I didn't realise you had a third child.' I said I didn't, and that it was DD, who was sitting in the pushchair. 'Oh, she looks much better in the photo than she does in real life' said the other mother, and walked off.Shock

minifingerz · 02/12/2016 06:57

A mum at school (dd's friend's mum) said that mixed race children are usually very attractive, pointed at my baby and said, with a sneer, 'even this one'.

She also told my teenage dd she had got 'so fat' and gave her some over the counter herbal diet pills. Shock. Dd was 13 at the time.

She's French and incredibly blunt. I suspect it's a cultural thing.

Wifflewaffles · 02/12/2016 06:59

Ds has sn, and a "friend" described him as slow and backwards. :(

LarrytheCucumber · 02/12/2016 07:23

Another parent, when I told her DS had been diagnosed with Aspergers, said 'Really? More ADHD in his case I'd have thought'. She was an ex TA and currently a child minder, but obviously knew better than the Community Paed, Ed Psych, speech therapist, school SENCo with an MA in autism etc etc.

PeachBellini123 · 02/12/2016 07:40

Comments I've had since being pregnant:
'Was it planned?" Been with DH for 4 years, married for 2. Yes.

"Your bump is so small/big!" - some people think I look huge some small.

"Are you disappointed it's a boy?" Hmm

RoseGoldHippie · 02/12/2016 07:58

I don't understand the mean comments about red hair.

It cost me an absolute fortune to try and replicate a natural red head look from a bottle that I gave up!

Some really weird stories on this thread! Dreading comments when me and DP have children especially since I will most probably work full time (if poss) plus both of us are a bit mad, I am expecting nothing less from our children!

Must learn some witty replies prior to having babies!!!

Boomerwang · 02/12/2016 08:13

I was one of those people. I don't know why, as I had a daughter of my own when I said awful things.

My ex's brother has a girlfriend with developmental problems. They had a daughter together, who also has similar problems. They are all very overweight. I used to make comments about their parenting to my ex and I hated being around the young girl because every time she asked for food it'd give me the rage. I wasn't mean to her directly, but she definitely sensed my disposition towards her.

They had another child together and she also has developmental problems. I made comments about how stupid and selfish they were to have had another kid when their first was always sent off to her grandparents to be looked after.

One day I was making nasty remarks to my ex about the first girl's weight and how I hoped our own daughter didn't get fat and my ex finally snapped and pointed out I was talking about his niece, a much loved member of the family and a child and I should shut my own fat face.

I was mortified. It did make me look at myself a bit though. I realised just how goddamn cruel I'd been. How judgmental and self righteous and flipping stupid.

Ever since that day I have managed to see past everything I thought was a negative and just see the girl herself. I never look down my nose any more, not even when she asks for food or something that used to wind me up. I don't really know what's happened to make that change but it came easily, somehow. I love her and her little sister and I stopped comparing them to my own daughter, who is herself overweight and it's all my fault for being a soft touch.

I'm utterly ashamed at myself for being THAT person and I did thank my ex for waking me up.

Helpme9 · 02/12/2016 09:20

That me and my husband don't really 'go well together'. Saying he's good looking.

crrrzy · 02/12/2016 10:43

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

NeverEverAnythingEver · 02/12/2016 12:44

Boomer Flowers

BertrandRussell · 02/12/2016 12:49

"What lovely coloured hair! You wouldn't want it yourself of course, but it is a lovely color"

Floofborksnootandboop · 02/12/2016 13:33

A lot of the rude things are to do with me having my kids so young.

Wasn't said to me but to my 16 year old DD. I was 20 when I gave birth to my eldest son who is now 19, then I had anther son who is 18 and 2 DDs 16 and 14. DD was over a new friends house and her mum was asking the usual questions about our family, when DD said the age of all DC and my age she made a comment about me being a bit of a whore Hmm After that she always avoided me and wouldn't let her DD stay over at our house at all. Weird women.

Another one is when I went to a support group for young mums, I was struggling after DD2. I was telling another mum, she was around 17/18 I'd say and she was pregnant with her 2nd and worrying that her DD who was 2 wouldn't get on with the new baby, about my eldest son not wanting to spend much time with me after DD2 was born (we was super close before) and she said he's probably ashamed I couldn't keep my legs closed. Shock she said it in a half jokey way half serious way and I was speechless.

swampytiggaa · 02/12/2016 13:36

I have five children. Someone I know said she didn't understand why anyone had more than 2 children as it was just so unnecessary. She then expected me to agree with her Confused

ShowMePotatoSalad · 02/12/2016 13:38

On hearing I would be sending DS to nursery part-time - "oh, i couldn't send my child to a nursery, I didn't have a baby to have someone else looking after her".

A few months later her daughter started at a nursery. Grin