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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What is the rudest thing a fellow parent has said to you?

360 replies

weresquirrel · 28/09/2016 21:41

Another parent whose child is in my child's class made a comment about my younger child being ugly Confused. It didn't register at first (I think I was in shock) and I only really took in her comment an hour or so after she had said it.

What is the rudest thing a fellow parent has said to you?

OP posts:
icecreamcones · 29/11/2016 16:08

Found out DS2 had a 3 major heart problems at 5 weeks old. Some 'friends' and a couple of relatives implied it could be my fault, by asking if I'd done anything I shouldn't have done durning pregnancy to make him 'the way he is'. Hmm

Needless to say, I was livid.,

spiderlight · 29/11/2016 16:18

'Well personally I think giving a child a sibling is the most important thing. If you aren't going to have at least two, you shouldn't have any.' From someone who knew that I have a very serious autoimmune disease anda whole other neurological condition on top, had spent two years after DS was born having treatment for recurrent precancerous growths on my cervix, had nursed a very elderly parent through the effects of pneumococcal meningitis at 84 and had then had a very traumatic miscarriage.

user1471455262 · 29/11/2016 16:27

My dd1 was born at 29 weeks and in the intensive care nursery for 9 weeks before she could come home. Somewhere in there my brother said to me, "I knew you were too lazy to carry the baby full term yourself so the hospital's finishing the job for you."

cjt110 · 29/11/2016 16:28

My SIL to me - That labour pains really hurt and that I shouldnt hedge my bets on what day my child was likely to be born as it could be anytime. Really fucking annoyed me as she had ELCS both times, pre-booked and never experienced labour pains or the angst of waiting for your child to be born.

MIL to me That my son was a "bruiser" and how I must feel a bit delicate. Well, yes... He was at 8lb11 and having to have him tugged from my fanjo with a group of Drs was the highlight but you neednt point it out!

MariePoppins · 29/11/2016 16:29

Oh no PLease don't take it back! This guy got what he deserved! I wish I could think about answers like this on the spot

MariePoppins · 29/11/2016 16:30

Sorry that was to ShutTheFuckUp... thread had moved on....

wherethefuckisthefuckingtuna · 29/11/2016 16:37

When pregnant with DC1 I had to visit the optician. I have a chronic autoimmune disease that also affects my eyesight so it's pertinent to bring it up during appointments.

The woman doing my appointment also knew I was pregnant and asked if my autoimmune disease is hereditary and I told her it isn't. She said "well, thank goodness you won't pass it on to the poor thing then".

Sad

DH's grandma asked if me being pregnant with our second was good news. I told her of course it was! She wasn't sure you see, because SIL had told her I probably wouldn't have any more. Because of my condition.

Angry
Dagnabit · 29/11/2016 16:39

Fairly tame compared to many stories on here but when dh rang mil after the birth of our ds, he told her our chosen name and she said, "oh, you haven't have you?"

Luckily, dh's sister was with her and tore her a new one on our behalf! Saved me having to do it, once I could move again....

KrissyKringlefromCandyCaneLane · 29/11/2016 16:39

icecream my MIL refuses to accept that DD2's heart condition wasn't caused by something I did whilst pregnant.

SIL is currently pregnant and still smoking, MIL says "I keep telling her to stop or she'll have a disabled baby like you".

I have never smoked, I didn't drink, take drugs or take part in any extreme sports during my pregnancy.

It's been ten years and MIL still cannot let it go.

When DD2 eventually came home from hospital she was on portable oxygen and I was shocked at the amount of complete strangers who thought it was acceptable to ask what was wrong with her or in one particularly memorable incident ask what I'd done to her.

phoenix1973 · 29/11/2016 16:48

You wanna sort her out. Else she'll end up a devil child
Iike other mates child. My child was 18 months and going through the wilful tantrum age. Her kid didn't go through that at 18 months.....she did at 3 though. Lol.

Ohhhh, it's always her isn't it?
When my child hurt herself at a soft play/gym party age 5.
Years later, her kid broke a foot bone at a trampoline party.
I privately smirked a little bit.

Knobheads all of them.

VinoTime · 29/11/2016 16:48

"Are you sure you're not just making up excuses for her? She's probably just not very bright."

Said by a now ex-friend about my DD, when I expressed how frustrated I was with her old school for refusing to screen her for Dyslexia and how behind she seemed to be compared to most of the children in her class.

She was tested last year by her new school. Turns out she is dyslexic - right on the border between moderate and severe. They had to take her all the way back to KS1 (then 8.5yo) with her reading as she had, quite cleverly, taught herself so many coping/masking techniques with reading that both schools had assumed she could read just fine Hmm

CharliePurple · 29/11/2016 16:52

That most people have at least one friend and why don't I?

Proudmummytodc2 · 29/11/2016 16:58

3 days after giving birth to my DD one said to me "you've not lost much weight have you" and 2 seconds later she pulled my top up and said "oh look poor you, your stomach all flabby and you got stretch marks that's such a shame I didn't get any of that" cheeky bitch lol

Bluntness100 · 29/11/2016 17:02

Nothing about my daughter, but I did have a mum say to me when my daughter was about two " you'll feel better when you lose the baby weight, I know I do" Five foot eight, size ten, we were just talking in passing about kids being hard work. 🙄

HoopsandEverything · 29/11/2016 17:03

"You do realise they will remove your baby at birth because you are taking that (Olanzapine)".

CharliePurple · 29/11/2016 17:07

I forgot (how could I?!) the smug mother who was sympathetic when my fantastic, clever, funny, lovely son was born because I'd had a boy not a girl!
And the mother who boasted that she spent £700 on a bike for her ds's (our sons are the same age and share a birthday) when she knew that I had struggled to scrApe together £50 for my son's present.

yongnian · 29/11/2016 17:25

*Someone recently said about DS1 (10) "you'd never know he has autism, would you? What's he gifted at?"

I know they meant it kindly but sat there thinking "that's because we've spent ten fucking years of our lives trying to teach him how to hold conversations, use expression, eye contact, to keep hands steady instead of flapping, to litem to instructions, to smile, to find humour, to love music, to work hard at school, to maintain friendships, so take part in sports, to try new foods, to sleep even when he's not remotely tired, to use manners and kindness, to not retaliate when others goad him, to find hobbies he loves. That's his pissing gift. Being like everyone else, but working 100 times harder just to achieve it". Of course, I smiled and explained that not all ASD children are gifted, leaving off the rest of my rant. But how bloody rude people are.*
whooooami this, a 1000 times!!

Tell you what, let's both actually say this next time instead of just thinking it!!
Other than that, there are actually too many to mention.
But here's a few little pearls that are burned into have stuck in my mind: 'Oh it's almost fashionable these days, isn't it?'
(On telling a good friend about DD1s high-functioning autism/Dyspraxia/sensory processing disorder diagnoses.)
And on hearing DD1's admittedly unusual (in this country ) but in no way difficult to pronounce name, 'Oh I'll never be able to remember that, it's far too difficult.'
And then on hearing DD2's name from our other home culture and comparing the two names 'Wow, they're really going to be confused by those two in school.'
Ooh and 'Does your husband mind you've passed on all your dodgy genes then?' (On explaining DD1s disabilities are inheritable).
I could go on.....

BratFarrarsPony · 29/11/2016 17:26

'you wont get on here because it is so family orientated'

(me and twins)

raspberrysuicide · 29/11/2016 17:29

She bought her child some sweets, decided they were too dangerous for her precious son so gave them to my child!

raspberrysuicide · 29/11/2016 17:30

Then said that it was ok if my child died because I can have more children but she couldn't.

Janey50 · 29/11/2016 17:36

Not me but my DD. A friend of a friend of hers,on hearing that she had to take tablets for high blood pressure whilst pregnant said 'Oh I'd NEVER take any sort of tablets while pregnant as I'd be too scared they would harm the baby'. This from a woman who not only smoked cigarettes quite heavily throughout her own 2 pregnancies,but also smoked cannabis several times a week!

lollylou2876 · 29/11/2016 17:45

My ds was a quietly next to me in m & s clothing, when an old lady, started saying rather loudly - who does this child belong to, I told her, he is stood next to me and is my child and thanked her for her concern.

I carried on shopping, when again she started loudly saying who does this child belong to, I assertively & said he is mine, and to which she replied, yours, he's a bit brown to be one of yours isn't he. I then calmly said he's mixed race & Brown People are allowed to shop here to thank you and walked off.

SVJAA · 29/11/2016 18:09

lollylou2876 that is awful!

Colby43443 · 29/11/2016 18:11

'So you're the evil stepmother than?' My dd was there when she said it and raised her eyebrow just waiting for me to react. When I didn't she called the person 'the wicked witch'.

Yamadori · 29/11/2016 18:20

On my return to work after having time off as my lovely DM had died (on my birthday as it happened) a colleague said to me: "You'll never be able to have a happy birthday again will you?"

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