Not invited to friend's wedding. What to do?

[backtothegrindstone]

An old friend has not invited me to their wedding and I'm feeling upset. We were flat mates at uni and whilst we're not close enough to call each other all the time, 18 years later we still see each other from time to time. She came to my wedding 6 years ago, and also to both my kids christenings and we have occasional play dates with our kids and they go to each others birthday parties. I know her fiancée well enough too. I was really surprised not to be invited to her wedding but have been biding my time in case a late invite comes through. The wedding is this weekend and nothing has arrived. It's not your conventional wedding- more if a creative, festival/woodland type thing so I can't imagine numbers are heavily limited and another friend who i'd have considered less close to them has been invited. Frankly, I'm really quite upset, especially as she's posting about it on Facebook every ten minutes. I know it's not good form to say anything right now and spoil her wedding, but at some point after I would like her to understand that I am upset about it. I'm not good at confrontation and o don't think I could approach her face to face or on the phone but at the very least I'd really like to make a quite pointed dig when commenting on her Facebook photos when the wedding pics go up. Im quite sure that if I'm not invited to her wedding then clearly the friendship doesn't mean enough to her to be worth continuing with so I then intend to unfriendly her and be done with the friendship for ever. But what's a good thing to say?

Ideas for a really good comment please!!!

hear hear

listen to the Elf

Similar thing happened to me recently except it's a family member. I wouldn't have expected an invitation but a few months ago she told me, I'd have her wedding to attend this Summer. I said "Lovely. Looking forward to it" I live overseas & would have absolutely loved to have been included. So I kept watching the post & it never came. Then just like you OP having to see it splayed all over Faceducker :(
My Mum was the only one on in our family who received an invitation which strangely/rudely only had her name on. (She didn't go). I can't understand why she told me I'd be invited in the first place. All I can think is that she doesn't like me. It is gutting as I really thought they did like me & would actually want my company. I felt so stupid.
Now I know weddings are expensive but they are well off so money wouldn't have been an issue. It was a big wedding with 100s of people there. So every one of them came before me. Some friends said to ask her about it but I felt I'd loose face as she'd then probably say "Of course you can come" & I'd know she didn't want me anyway. Only good thing about FB is that I could see it was actually a pretty boring affair :-) I do think I'd have been 'underwhelmed' if I'd gone. Plus her dress was awful too :-) :-) All that money & little taste.
I'm sorry to say, you have to realise they just didn't want you. You sound like a good geniune friend too So their loss.

So what did you do in the end?

Nothing at all so far. I plan to unfriend her. And when she inevitably contacts me sometime in the future I think that will probably be my chance to say that actually I don't think I want to catch up as she really hurt my feelings. I'd like to have my say at some point but I think I found venting on here pretty cathartic and there was some excellent (and some not so excellent) advice that helped me to get my head together about it all so I could sit on my hands for the time being. Thank you to those who were helpful and supportive.

Sounds like a good plan OP. Sorry again that this happened to you. It is awful

OP I would do the same thing as you're planning to do. She obviously doesn't value your friendship so don't waste your time, plenty of other people out there that deserve your friendship

Listen, my SIL didn't invite me to her wedding. She invited my DH, her brother, to whom I'd been married for 22 years at that point, on his own. I was invited to the evening 'do' along with our 3 children. We wouldn't be each other's favourite person by any means, but we have never exchanged a cross word either. She was one of my bridesmaids when we got married... I have never referred to the lack of an invitation; I rolled up dutifully to the evening do and thanks be to god or whatever deity is out there, it was a very foggy night and we live miles away, so we didn't stay very long.

She didn't so much as get a photo with our children (her only nieces and nephew)... but you know, it says far more about her than it does about me... I don't forget though...!

That's awful touchmybum. Your poor DH being caught in the middle