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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you are scared of death

196 replies

Lovinglife786 · 26/09/2016 15:22

I was talking to my grandmother who is terminally ill with breast cancer she has a couple of months left to live it has all happened so quick so it still doesn't feel real,I asked her if she is scared of dying and she said no and I believe her she is the most genuine and honest person you could meet, I admire her so much if it was me I would be terrified I just can't get my head around how calm she is,I just wondered how many people are scared of death aibu to ask

OP posts:
Original poster
Lovinglife786 · 26/09/2016 17:24

Binkybix I think it's normal to be scared of death but when it's affects your daily living it's becomes a problem, maybe have a chat to your g.p or someone close to you xxx

OP posts:
NickMarlow · 26/09/2016 17:26

I'm not scared of death itself. But definitely scared of the pain of dying, of leaving dh to bring dd up without me or him dying while she's so little.

UnderaRock · 26/09/2016 17:29

I'm petrified of death. I have anxiety disorder and it scares me so much I get panic attacks about it :(

starchildareyoulistening · 26/09/2016 17:34

I'm def not scared of being dead, I don't believe in any kind of afterlife and am quite content to just stop existing, but I do sometimes wonder what the actual moment of "passing" would feel like and hope that I'm asleep or unaware when it comes. I have a really distinct memory of the moment I first thought about death and realised I would experience it one day - I was about 8 and was just sitting in the bath mulling it over! - and I don't think it ever really scared me much.

NavyandWhite · 26/09/2016 17:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Garthmarenghi · 26/09/2016 17:36

I'm fine with it I think. My children are adults, I'm very well insured and I have recently updated my will. The majority of my parents' friends and relatives have died, so I'm in the next tier as it were.

CancellyMcChequeface · 26/09/2016 17:37

I'm very afraid of it. I don't believe in an afterlife and contemplating my own non-existence gives me this horrible sickening feeling. I think it's impossible for my consciousness to imagine the complete absence of consciousness. I've heard it compared to a deep, dreamless sleep, but we're only cognizant of sleep after having woken.

It's almost the inverse of the deep sense of awe and wonder I get when I think for too long about infinity or the enormity of the universe.

CancellyMcChequeface · 26/09/2016 17:39

SciFiFan2015 I understand that, I wish I had a faith, too, because it would take away the fear of the nothingness if I believed in an afterlife - it's not possible to just make ourselves believe, though, unfortunately. :/

starchildareyoulistening · 26/09/2016 17:43

The funny thing is I have an anxiety disorder too, but death seems to be the only thing I'm NOT scared of! In fact I often end up deciding it's the best way to avoid whatever i'm worrying about (but obviously I don't go through with it, because I know "suicide to avoid having to go to work" is not an objectively brilliant idea, not matter how sensible it seems at 4am)

megletthesecond · 26/09/2016 17:43

yes, to the point of feeling sick about it Sad. 3am wake ups and everything.

I'm a total lp and if I die the DC's would also lose their friends and school and have to move 100 miles away to be with my family.

I eat a lot of kale and go to the gym.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 26/09/2016 17:44

It's not when I go. It's how I go that worries me.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 26/09/2016 17:45

Sorry about your DGG being poorly
Flowers

Kr1stina · 26/09/2016 17:47

I'm not scared of death but I'm scared of dying , of being in pain or coping with an illness like cancer. I'm not very brave and I've always had good health so I don't think I'd cope well with disability. I one of these people who feel sorry for themselves with a cold Blush

I'm scared of dying and leaving my children , like many other people on this thread. They have a father but he's not much use, and the relatives who would bring them up are older

Cliffdiver · 26/09/2016 17:47

Sorry about your grandma op Flowers

Yep, am totally terrified Sad am scared of leaving my children.

I worry about dying and those close to me dying too much.

RebelandaStunner · 26/09/2016 17:49

Yes I am, but more bothered about going before my time and not doing all the things that I want to do first.
Also scared of leaving my dc and animals all alone if say me and DH died in a car crash together. We have family who would take them in but it's not the same.

Tiredmumno1 · 26/09/2016 17:49

SoleBizzz I am so sorry, I don't know what to say Flowers

EstelleRoberts · 26/09/2016 17:52

I'm not scared of being 'dead'. I'm a natural medium (reluctantly, never wanted to be). I've seen 'dead people' and been able to communicate with them all my life. There is nothing to fear about the afterlife. I've seen it and it is wonderful.

I struggle with life on this side of things - pain, illness, tiredness, money worries, violence, war etc. There have been many many times when I have yearned to go home. However, I now have a small DD and want to be here for as long as possible for her sake.

ayeokthen · 26/09/2016 17:54

I'm sorry about your grandmother's illness. I'm not scared of dying, I'm scared of dying before my kids are grown up.

EstelleRoberts · 26/09/2016 17:59

OP, v sorry, I meant to say that I am very sorry about your grandmother's illness, and I hope she passes peacefully when the time comes.

Fairylea · 26/09/2016 18:00

Some very sad stories here Flowers

I am terrified of dying. But I think as naff as it sounds you have to try not to think about it as you become terrified of living by default.

I have lots of health problems - pituitary tumour, bad eyesight that may eventually lead to blindness (worst case scenario), thyroid problems etc etc. I also have a disabled child and I am terrified of what will happen to him if and when I go. I worry he will be without someone who understands him the way I do. But I try not to think about it all as best I can. Dying is inevitable, after all.

QueenLizIII · 26/09/2016 18:01

I am scared of death as I am an atheist so the void of nothingness frightens me.

also I have not had a happy life to date, bad childhood, poor relationships. I am terrified of life being like this and then I just die at the end of it all.

Kaylasmum49 · 26/09/2016 18:08

Absolutely terrified of leaving my children without a mother, not so much about dying. I have health anxiety and when I'm going through a bad time I have horrific intrusive thoughts of my children crying for me. 😢😢😢

Destinysdaughter · 26/09/2016 18:12

Not scared of dying. Scared of dementia and strokes more after seeing my elderly parents have those conditions. I wish assisted suicide was legal in this country. Maybe it will be in 20-30 years...

NapQueen · 26/09/2016 18:13

If I can make it to 60 I'll feel much more comfortable leaving life behind. My kids will be 34 and 31 a and whilst I'm sure it hurts at any age I'd rather leave adult dcs behind.

HerFaceIsAMapOfTheWorld · 26/09/2016 18:13

No I am not because everyone dies