What do I reply to this/is there an innocent explanation?

[Fanfeck]

I want to keep this brief
I was texting a friend I've known for 4ish years through DD, a friend I have been there for through the breakdown of her marriage/health problems etc and visa versa. I only say this to explain it's definitely a friendship of sorts as opposed to just meeting for the kids.

In one of my messages I said "that's great, looking forward to it. Could really do with a chat"

I then got a screenshot back of my message with the caption "bet it isn't going to be half as interesting as it sounds"

Neither of us have replied and she's gone offline. I'm so embarrassed and I so want her to explain it away.

OP, for you, because it's always shit when someone makes you feel shit.

But perhaps it is possible it was just an oddly expressed attempt at a jokey comment?

If you've been good friends for a while, perhaps just give her a chance to explain before you cut her off completely?

"Just be direct and truthful and ask her what she meant by the screenshot because it looked like it could have been meant for someone else.

You're an adult. Communicate and bring this into the open."

I actually agree with the above by HeteronormativeHaybales.

I really am struggling to work out what is so obviously appalling about screenshotting a text and saying it's probably not that interesting.

It's a bit perplexing, but I can't see why it's clearly, undeniably, inarguably, positively, definitely the woman being an evil bitch?

How would you feel if someone you knew was saying this behind your back and repeating what you were telling them?

If she'd meant it for the op, then when the op messaged about the money for the tickets(?) the friend would have been all "Huh?? What's going on??"

I would send her screen shot & comment back to her and say "You sent this to me by mistake. Was it meant for a mutual friend of ours? I would like to know who else I should feel embarrassed in front of and not to trust again."

But when the friend got the message for the tickets back, she might have thought 'huh, what's going on?' but still not said anything, because she came up with some interpretation of the facts in her head and decided it must be true and that she isn't going to actually ask about it....

Same as the OP. Agreed, it does look likely that the friend was bitching about her behind her back, but you don't know for sure - you do need really say something to her and find out. Or ignore her totally. But sending back just as cryptic messages seems a bit like avoiding anything difficult. Neither of you actually have any solid information about what each of your texts means, and you're both probably coming up with an interpretation of them - which might be correct, or it might not. But since you don't know for sure, it's always going to lead to miscommunication.

Someone is going to have to actually bring it up.

BUt the other woman didn't say anything nasty, I'm still at a loss. I'd be confused to get that text, but couldn't assume it meant anything. It's not like she'd said, "Oh sh1t, look at what that twat Fanfeck is going on about now". She said, "It's probably not as interesting as it sounds". Which, ironically, probably isn't as interesting an "insult" as it sounds. It seems quite a leap, and a lot of filling in details and assumptions you've got very little basis for.

The text was with a screen shot of OP's comment, which wouldnt be needed if the text was meant for OP.
Its pretty obvious she is bitching about OP to a third party.

Just saw this on facebook, thought it was quite apt

scamp I don't know how to take that comment any other way but nasty? If you're repeating it and not screenshotting it, it is just as nasty "she says she wants a good chat- it won't be as interesting as it sounds".

Either you're really naive and can't see the insult, or you say this kind of thing yourself and think it's ok to talk like this about your friends.

I would just simply text: I've returned your money as I no longer wish to socialise with you given that you obviously screen shot our private conversations to share with others. And leave it at that.

Ignore her from now on.

After my post on AIBU today I think you need to be blunt. Send it back and ask what she means.
I have had to have a frank word with someone today. It's not nice but it's out in the open then. I needed some closer. I was going to ignore what my 'ex' friend did but then it's hanging over you. What will you do if she doesn't 'get' your last text? Continue to meet up wondering what it meant?

Sorry it sounds like she was slagging you off. Find out and cut out the deadwood. I'm sorry, you deserve better

Friends like that you dont need. Cancel and drop her...

She is the one that should be embarrassed OP,not you. She sounds like a nasty piece of work if ask me. I would text her back with a 'I don't think this message was intended for me?'. Then just wait and watch her squirm.

Well done OP. No need to feel humiliated though, Mumsnet is behind you. You're a virtual rock as someone upthread mentioned and ex friend is still a twat!

She's being a cow.

Cocnutty's response is the one I'd use, for sure.

That's mean, stop being friends with her, she's a right bitch. You don't need her, you go girlfriend!

That's really mean of her. All I can offer is hugs xx

Reply with a LOL. That way she won't know if you're laughing at her, or if you think she's joking. It will hopefully unsettle her. Because that text was obviously meant for someone else and she's not nice.

Oh God, a LOL would be devastating!

That's the one I'd do.

Ugh I hate people who screen shot your messages. There is no reason other than to stir up trouble.

You don't deserve that. You have been a good loyal friend to her. Step away.