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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

What do I reply to this/is there an innocent explanation?

243 replies

Fanfeck · 25/09/2016 14:46

I want to keep this brief
I was texting a friend I've known for 4ish years through DD, a friend I have been there for through the breakdown of her marriage/health problems etc and visa versa. I only say this to explain it's definitely a friendship of sorts as opposed to just meeting for the kids.

In one of my messages I said "that's great, looking forward to it. Could really do with a chat"

I then got a screenshot back of my message with the caption "bet it isn't going to be half as interesting as it sounds"

Neither of us have replied and she's gone offline. I'm so embarrassed and I so want her to explain it away.

OP posts:
Fluffyears · 25/09/2016 19:20

Have you heard anything further?

mum2Bomg · 25/09/2016 19:27

This happened to me Sad I lent my friend £100 on a night out. Out other friend left her phone in my bag and went home. Skint friend text her to say how annoying I was. Lovely...needless to say I don't see her anymore after 20yrs of friendship.

DiegeticMuch · 25/09/2016 22:25

After your first post, I thought that it was possibly a daft joke, rather than a misdirect.

However, the fact she hasn't asked you why on earth you sent the refund implies that she's a wrongun,and knows it. Sorry. It's good that you have found out though.

Fanfeck · 26/09/2016 08:23

We had been going on about getting fit, losing weight at some stage last week and she just sent me a meme of two girls on a scales and she's captioned it "let's do this 💪🏼"

So she's obviously just hoping to pretend it never happened Confused

OP posts:
pandarific · 26/09/2016 08:39

Just blank her OP. What a cow. Flowers

expatinscotland · 26/09/2016 08:46

Blank her from now on.

TheStoic · 26/09/2016 08:57

However bad you feel, OP, take comfort in knowing she feels worse. Flowers

BalthazarImpresario · 26/09/2016 09:00

There is no way this was innocent, it doesn't read like a bad joke let alone an understandable one.

Op your response was very calm and rational, I liked shitmums idea.

Ignore her now she'll already have told the others about you returning her money etc.

StealthPolarBear · 26/09/2016 09:00

That seems odd. No response to the Halloween message?

greenjojocat · 26/09/2016 09:07

Just ask her what she meant by the previous message.. You'll regret it down the line if you don't! Flowers

JerryFerry · 26/09/2016 09:09

Screenshot it, caption it Let's not, and return

Stillunexpected · 26/09/2016 09:14

I would reply to her, ignoring the get-fit challenge, and innocently ask her what the previous screen shot meant? See what fib she comes up with to cover it, then distance yourself from her.

Only1scoop · 26/09/2016 09:15

Wide berth
She's no friend

Only1scoop · 26/09/2016 09:16

Think I'd also send the screen shot with a question mark.

ColourfullyWonderful · 26/09/2016 09:22

I'd of replied with something like you'd had a big win on the lottery and had wanted to suprise her with a big girly break but thanks to her clearly being a gossip she won't be getting it now .... But I'm a cow like that.

CalmYaTits · 26/09/2016 09:26

Screen shot her profile picture and name, 'accidentally' send it to her with caption 'what a twat she is'

ParanoidGynodroid · 26/09/2016 09:31

Stupid woman (your "friend", not you OP!).
It sounds to me as if she really does actually like you and want to be friends, but the message was to have a laugh/ show some silly bravado to impress the intended recipient... in the way some people moan about or slag off things to get a laugh.
Perhaps the intended recipient had instigated the slagging off, and your "friend" joined in to stay cool with the other. And she's likely done it before.

Forget her: she doesn't deserve your friendship nor the help and support you've given her in the past.

OutsSelf · 26/09/2016 09:34

You could respond, 'I bet it's not half as interesting as it sounds'

HeteronormativeHaybales · 26/09/2016 09:34

Just be direct and truthful and ask her what she meant by the screenshot because it looked like it could have been meant for someone else.

You're an adult. Communicate and bring this into the open.

Ginslinger · 26/09/2016 09:36

I think you should do what haybales suggests

RhiWrites · 26/09/2016 09:38

To all the people saying talk about it, what's the point?

OP knows ex-friend was bitching about her to someone else and thinks she's boring. They both know what that screenshot meant. If ex-friend wants to make it up she can apologise.

Assam · 26/09/2016 09:42

'No thanks'

eatsleephockeyrepeat · 26/09/2016 09:44

Yep, obviously about you not to you, but not the meanest thing in the world is it - "not half as interesting". Horrible when it's about you, absolutely, but not a total bitch-fest.

I'm a massive softy so I wouldn't begrudge anyone for reacting differently, but I feel kind of sorry for her. Sounds like one of those people so insecure in their friendships that they slag their other friends off to try and build up what they have in common. If she's trying to act like it never happened I'd say she probably really does like you and value the friendship, but was just trying to cosy up with someone else at your expense. Although undoubtedly she thought you'd never find out.

If you usually find her pleasant enough company and think perhaps she might have just been being stupidly needy I'd give her a second chance.

Mozfan1 · 26/09/2016 09:47

Came on to say what outself said! Genius! 😏

franincisco · 26/09/2016 09:48

Do adults actually do this - screenshot from 'private' conversations and send to others? I must be very naive.

^This! Teens maybe, but I had no idea adults did this I don't even know how to screenshot

I must admit when I read the OP I didn't think anything bad at all. I have an acqaintence who is a complete gossip lover and I can see her responding similarly. My idea of "wanting a chat" is not even on her radar; to her she wants the "chat" to be about a sordid affair or something on par, I perhaps want to talk about reading book bands something much more trivial.

In saying that though her silence would probably suggest she was slagging you off. Better you know now OP.