What do I reply to this/is there an innocent explanation?

[Fanfeck]

I want to keep this brief
I was texting a friend I've known for 4ish years through DD, a friend I have been there for through the breakdown of her marriage/health problems etc and visa versa. I only say this to explain it's definitely a friendship of sorts as opposed to just meeting for the kids.

In one of my messages I said "that's great, looking forward to it. Could really do with a chat"

I then got a screenshot back of my message with the caption "bet it isn't going to be half as interesting as it sounds"

Neither of us have replied and she's gone offline. I'm so embarrassed and I so want her to explain it away.

Oh, something similar happened to me. It was surprisingly hurtful and humiliating. My friend was very apologetic and officially we made up, but tbh, the friendship started its death-throws then. We are still officially friends (we work together and I can´t face having a bad atmosphere with her every day), but we will never be friends again like we used to be.

Perfect response! Well done.

There's only two people I think she could have sent it to, one she is always complaining she feels uses her for free childcare and the other was found/admitted to sending inappropriate and flirty messages to her unfaithful husband after he had left her. It was just "banter" though so all was forgiven

That's what bothers me the most I think! So glad this happened before I divulged my "need for a chat"

Ugh!

Oh and thank you all so much! I'm actually too embarrassed to tell anyone in real life

I think your response was very clear.

There's always Mumsnet if you need a chat.

I don't think there is an innocent explanation otherwise it would have been followed up.

However, I think your response was childish.

Well its not really something you'd tell people in real life other than your oh I don't think. Looks like you're doing the gossiping then.
that's probably what she meant by that comment, you don't gossip and you're not a bitch.

The only response she'd be getting from me would be silence.

Remember she'll screenshot and share anything else.

I think your response was restrained and appropriate. Thank goodness you now know not to tell her anything. This is a good thing really.

Your response was perfect OP. It's such a shitty thing to happen.

Similar thing happened to me.

My son and I would visit a relative (Dave) sometimes and one day we were sat there with relatives partner (Donna) whilst Dave was out - they've been together 10yrs + so consider her family too. Anyway Dave rang Donna whilst I was there and obviously didn't realise how close to the phone I was, Donna mentioned we were there and Dave started laughing (like real OTT pisstaking laughing as in hahaha you're stuck with her type of thing), Donna looked mortified and hastily tried to get Dave to change the subject. I just sat there smiling awkwardly, it was fucking horrible! I didn't say anything because Dave is a relative to my son on my sons dads side and I didn't want to do anything to damage the relationship, especially as son doesn't see dad so I try my best to at least keep him in contact with the rest of the family. I still see them and remain polite etc but I'll never feel the same about them, and I actually thought a lot of them.

How was the OP's response childish? It was quite nice considering that the ''friend' was slagging her off behind her back.

OP - you handled that like a classy broad. There is nowhere for her to go with this to make you the bad guy.

How was the OP's response childish?

Because it is childish tit for tat stuff rather than sorting it out like an adult.

soupdragon. Why on earth was it childish to return some money that the non friend had given the OP to buy some tickets for her?

I don't understand your thinking on that st all? I actually think it was a really good response. Non emotional, no drama.

Exactly, it wasn't childish at all.

It was the only response I could think of because I just wanted her money back to her so I wouldn't have it hanging over me and I always send screenshots of money transfers just in case there's a banking issue etc.
It might have seemed a little "throwing toys out of pram" but I just want it gone because the friendship isn't salvageable.

I don't think it's that childish to cancel plans with someone who has just shown their true colours, why would OP want to go out somewhere overnight with somebody who slags her off to other people while she's talking to them?

soup is it tit for tat? She's just cancelling the plans they made to meet up- the most sensible thing to do in this situation.

Sorry I don't think you should give this too much meaning. Texts/email can easily be miss understood as the tone cannot always be clear. If I had written this the sub text would be 'oooo sounds like some juicy gossip that I'm all excited about now but I'm prepared for it just to be standard chit chat'

phalen Our ideas of friendship are clearly very different [hmmm]

Ie I was looking forward to seeing you but now I'm almost bursting with anticipation, should I lower my expectations?

I would have done the same a you op - I wouldn't want to be going to an event with her.
I have to say I have done something similar though . Was having a whinge to dh about my dm and sent the text to her instead of him. She has NEVER mentioned it and the text just remains buried there in my text history amongst the rest of the nice conversations.
If I thought a friend was actually sending on private conversations and mocking me though we would no longer be friends.

The friend hasn't responded so it obviously wasn't meant as a joke.

Do adults actually do this - screenshot from 'private' conversations and send to others? I must be very naive. That's really crap. This would really upset me too. Well do be on clear response. Will be interesting to see if she rep lies at all. I sent a text discussing an issue
I had with one friend, to another, it effected us both. I was mortified but rang her immediately and apologised and explained my feelings on it. No long term damage done but a lesson learned.