to tell DD to fuck off and leave me the hell alone?

[SaggyBaggyPuss]

I smoke in the garden in the evenings filthy bastard that I am and now DD smokes too she keeps following me out there to talk at me . She has just given me a lengthy run down on some make up endorsed by the bloody Kardashians wondering if she should buy some and then had a rant about how crap it probably was .

My evening smoke-s- are my ME time (4 DC). Time to think things over and have pretend conversations in my head with people who have pissed me off, or fantasise about actually having a life. I try to 'hmmm' and 'OK' at appropriate times to pretend I'm listening to her which she has now caught onto but she still won't bugger off.

She's 19 btw.

AIBU to tell her to go out for a fag at different times to me (she won't because she's scared of the bats flying around) or ban her from smoking at all in the garden?

LOL. I didn't think anyone smoked anymore these days.

'Tinky'? I haven't heard that since school.

I know what you mean OP. I love my son to bits but spend a lot of time wishing he would give me peace.

Derek is right about the prosecco.

I vape now, but I miss smoking. Vaping gives you the nicotine hit, but it's not the same. When DS was small, having a smoke was my little escape. Inevitably, my ex would follow me out (bong in hand!) and I just felt - grrrr! Just five minutes to daydream, ponder, come up with delayed thought-retorts....but no. Interrupted every time. Hard to tell her to bugger off, but every mother needs a bit of space, and being locked in a bathroom doesn't cut it for everyone. I only have one child - OP has four!

i'm in my posh onsie (looks like flannel pjs) fluffy socks and drinking cider.

no fag though, i gave up.. still want one though... mmmmm.

Fancy Can changes for a coffee on a morning coz that's classy

Is this a Joke? Sounds more like an episode of Jeremy Kyle😁

tinky? thats what we call a little girls ladybits in this house.

What else does it mean?

Actually, probably the single biggest factor in my never smoking was having parents who smoked like chimneys. It was an excellent deterrent. I never had the slightest desire to smoke.

OP, I understand the need for some time alone. Nothing wrong with that IMO.

I used to smoke, so I do get it. I'd sneak out to the hen house and have a crafty smoke before bedtime. My kids never knew though. It would kill me to see one of them smoking and that's the main reason I stopped. But ignoring the smoking part, if it's just the chatter you want to stop, then tell her! Just say you need a few minutes of quiet, or that Kardashian crap makes you grouchy, or whatever. If she takes the hint and is quiet, that's fine. If she huffs off inside then you've still got a few minutes of peace.

LOL. I didn't think anyone smoked anymore these days.

The fuck?

Certainly would not be out in the garden in pjs. I am in my smoking jacket and birkies.

My parents never smoked but 3 of us ended up doing so.

DH does not smoke so surely DD should have copied him, not me?

I blame her friends.

ShouldHaveBeenJess there are new e-cigs coming out that use real tobacco so more like a traditional smoke.

She's reaching out to you as someone she wants to spend time with. It's lovely don't tell her to fuck off.

I absolutely see the funny side of your thread Saggy

No advice though - the 2 ds's that still live at home (17 & 20) find that the optimum time to 'have a chat' with Mum & very occasionally Dad is about 11-11.30pm, just as we're nodding off to sleep or just as a bottle of something nice is uncorked in front of the tv!

Think you will just have to grin and bear it!!

I'm like a Bisto kid when I smell cigarette smoke. I don't think I'll ever find it off putting. Have never been able to cope with weed, though. I turn into Drew Barrymore from Never Been Kissed. I remember my sister once saying to me at a party "You are so uncool when you're stoned".

Thanks, user. I feel a bit like one of those vegetarians who has to buy replica bacon!

Unfortunately you can't blame her friends. Children with a parent who smokes are more than twice as likely to take up smoking than those who have non smoking parents.

I also didn't think anyone still smoked except pensioners who were too old to have had the education against it and teens who were being rebellious. Ah well. What Grace said.

So who the fuck is to blame for me smoking when neither parent smoked?!

DH took to doing this and that was bad enough so no, yanbu to want to smoke alone sometimes. (Even in your PJs and dressing gown)

I love a bit of peace and quiet, no listening to anyone, no having to talk, just nothing for 5 minutes, I don't smoke but I take a cup of tea outside/upstairs.
Tell her that u go out to get away from everything for a while, that u need to have 5 mins silent me time, I'm sure she will understand at 19.

Coffee has to be from my tassimo machine though cos I'm a proper classy bird me derek

Don't smoke and never have but I completely relate to the Kardashian/make-up/Brendon Urie (autocorrect wanted 'urine' for that one) boredom. I just let it wash over me while adopting a smile and nod expression I'm sure doesn't fool DD in the slightest.

SHBJ, they heat the tobacco instead of burning it but it's meant to have the taste and feel of a real smoke.