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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell DD to fuck off and leave me the hell alone?

207 replies

SaggyBaggyPuss · 23/09/2016 21:45

I smoke in the garden in the evenings filthy bastard that I am and now DD smokes too she keeps following me out there to talk at me Angry. She has just given me a lengthy run down on some make up endorsed by the bloody Kardashians wondering if she should buy some and then had a rant about how crap it probably was Angry.

My evening smoke-s- are my ME time (4 DC). Time to think things over and have pretend conversations in my head with people who have pissed me off, or fantasise about actually having a life. I try to 'hmmm' and 'OK' at appropriate times to pretend I'm listening to her which she has now caught onto but she still won't bugger off.

She's 19 btw.

AIBU to tell her to go out for a fag at different times to me (she won't because she's scared of the bats flying around) or ban her from smoking at all in the garden?

OP posts:
Dollycherry · 23/09/2016 22:07

I don't smoke but I can totally relate that to that moment when they are wittering on about Kardashion type nonsense and you just want them to shut up for 5 minutes so you can do whatever you were doing before in peace. And, then I feel very guilty because a) I love them b) I should be glad they want to talk to me c) they will soon have left home and I will miss them d) just about anything else you can think of because it doesn't feel quite right if I am not feeling guilty about SOMETHING...but then ...

the bloody Kardashions. Boundaries must be drawn. Start hiding in the hedge or something.

NoMudNoLotus · 23/09/2016 22:07

Classy.

hownottofuckup · 23/09/2016 22:08

I always usher the DC back in, it's definite selfish me time! But they're little so obviously don't smoke.
I get what you mean though, it's always been my moment of sanctuary, when I am free and selfish and actually have to be away from them for their own sake. I wouldn't want that to be disturbed. Ever.
Bless her though, that's the kind of chat I'd find quite interesting.

Original poster
SaggyBaggyPuss · 23/09/2016 22:09

Should have put 'Lighthearted' in the title!

We talk constantly indoors. She never shuts up unless she is attached to her phone and then she ignores me completely.

I only ever used to smoke when the DCs were in bed but with 3 teens that never happens now!

I know if I didn't go out, she wouldn't either. She only really smokes socially. I NEED my fag time in the evenings though Sad.

OP posts:
suspiciousofgoldfish · 23/09/2016 22:13

This thread is making me want to take up smoking again.

MerryInthechelseahotel · 23/09/2016 22:14

I could tell it was light hearted without you writing it down op Grin

FunnysInLaJardin · 23/09/2016 22:14

Saggy Ignore the sour folk. Most of us totally understand about needing me time whether it be having a fag or something else.

I hate it when people invade my own precious time alone

TotallyOuting · 23/09/2016 22:17

Such snobbery, wtf. I'm not sure what the OP said that made her sound 'rough as fuck'. Just the smoking? The use of the word fag? Four kids? Bats?!

CakesAndCustard · 23/09/2016 22:18

Are you proud that your DD smokes? Encouraging your other DC to do the same?

ollieplimsoles · 23/09/2016 22:19

My dh is also a 'chatterer' he literally does not stop wittering in, then says 'you're not listening to me!' When I fall asleep while he talking (11 month old dd).

I say I'm going to the toilet and sneak my phone in there with me.

DerekSprechenZeDick · 23/09/2016 22:19

Totally its the smoking.

You can ignore your kids coz you want some prosecco in peace but mention having one cig and you are the worst human

ayeokthen · 23/09/2016 22:20

DerekSprechenZeDick Grin

MaddyHatter · 23/09/2016 22:21

can you ask her to let you have one by yourself, but that she can join you for the next one?

Original poster
SaggyBaggyPuss · 23/09/2016 22:21

I'm teetotal but a filthy smoker so rough as they come Grin.

OP posts:
Atenco · 23/09/2016 22:23

I think you are going to get so slaughtered about having socialized your dd into smoking

My dm smoked like a train and I am the only one of three who ever took up the filthy habit, back in the day when it was all the rage. Likewise my dd has never taken up smoking. I really doubt that the OP socialised her dd into smoking.

MaddyHatter · 23/09/2016 22:23

i used to make up an excuse about needing something from the shop, then i'd go out in the car, park up, smoke a fag in peace, then come home with a packet of sweets or a loaf of bread, lol.

MerryInthechelseahotel · 23/09/2016 22:23

Are you proud of eating cakes and custard cakesandcustard ?

Whisky2014 · 23/09/2016 22:27

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DerekSprechenZeDick · 23/09/2016 22:28

Pjs, dressing gown while sat on front doorstep with a can and a fag is a dream

bibbitybobbityyhat · 23/09/2016 22:29

No, it was more the thread title.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 23/09/2016 22:30

In answer to TotallyOuting

Graceflorrick · 23/09/2016 22:30

I would be absolutely devastated if my DD started smoking because she'd seen me smoke. I'm struggling to see the funny side of your post OP.

DerekSprechenZeDick · 23/09/2016 22:30

Who says DD started smoking coz her mum did?!

ayeokthen · 23/09/2016 22:30

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Fancythat69 · 23/09/2016 22:33

That's exactly what I'm doing now derek and I'm also wearing ugg boots Grin