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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To do my husbands washing?

185 replies

Mrsemcgregor · 21/09/2016 13:57

I was chatting to a friend the other day and she was very surprised that I do my husbands washing. I had never even thought about it, I just bung all the washing in together. She mocked me a bit and said that my husband was a grown man and should do it himself, like I was being completely anti-feminist. Have I missed something here? Am I being a doormat by doing his washing?! It makes no sense to me to separate it out and expect him to do it himself.

OP posts:
kilmuir · 21/09/2016 14:45

Teamwork.

JellyBelli · 21/09/2016 14:45

Team work in the Jelli household. We share meals and money as well. No issues with it.

maddiemookins16mum · 21/09/2016 14:46

We don't have "your washing, my washing", we have washing, each do it when needed. She's strange.

ShotsFired · 21/09/2016 14:49

I tend to do laundry because I wfh a lot and can have a load on the line by 7am while he's still on the train to to work! Also he hangs it "wrong" if he does it Wink

My rule is anything in the basket or by the machine will get washed as is, no pockets get checked. If I do a load when he is in, I will offer him the chance to fetch anything from the floor he wants adding in as well, but I won't go hunting for it; and he knows better than to put on a half-load!

BlueLeopard · 21/09/2016 14:54

DP does our washing mostly. That's because he can come home on his lunch and stick a load on, or take in the washing when its dry and hang out another load. I do the cooking mostly because he's a woeful cook. Everything else is done when the two of us whizz around for an hour after work and a big Saturday morning clean involving floors.

She's an odd one. Their own chairs? Bonkers.

var12 · 21/09/2016 14:56

I do DH's and the children's, unless DH is doing it all instead.
I think your friend is a little confused about what it takes to live together as a family rather than co-exist as in a flat-share.

WindPowerRanger · 21/09/2016 14:57

V. rude to criticise you for it-she is not to know how you divide the household chores. And this 'feminism top trumps' tendency is really annoying. We're supposed to be all in it together, not competing with each other to be Champion Feminist.

gillybeanz · 21/09/2016 14:58

I do my dh washing and the dc that are still living here, they do mine too.
What a weird comment from your friend.
Whoever passes the basket when it's full, puts a load on, it's hardly rocket science. My dc have been doing it since they were about 6/7 before this with supervision. Dh does a load when he is about too.

roseteapot101 · 21/09/2016 14:59

it seems fair to me my other half works full time and i only work part time.As i work less hours i do more of the chores such as the laundry/cooking/cleaning but he does help me at weekends

JellyBelli · 21/09/2016 14:59

Top Trumps Grin
Its no better than competing to see who can get their washing out on the line earliest.

BadTasteFlump · 21/09/2016 15:01

Ignore her - YANBU.

I do DH's washing. I also do the washing for our DC (eldest is 18). Mainly because I am too precious to let anybody else attempt it (just think of the potential colour runs & shrinkages without my expertise!!). Also because it would take longer to separate everbodys stuff than to just bung it all in together. And also because DH and the DC do plenty of other things which I don't.

And also because I don't mind.

Ignore her.

OlennasWimple · 21/09/2016 15:04

I wash whatever's in the wash basket. I don't pick up his clothes from the floor, though

RunningLulu · 21/09/2016 15:05

We do a big old mixed laundary. Husband will even scrub my period stained pants if I don't hide them.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 21/09/2016 15:06

I also do the majority of the laundry in our house. We have one laundry basket in the bathroom & everyone's clothes go in there. One of us then sorts it into washes (depending on colour & wash temp. not ownership Wink) and that is that.

There are jobs we share more equally - washing up, cleaning etc., and also jobs that DH always does - like mowing the lawn. Not because the garden is "man's work" but because I hate doing it!

corythatwas · 21/09/2016 15:06

I do dh's washing, dh does my washing, dd does our washing- in other words, whoever puts the machine on is responsible for making sure there is a full load. Anything else is wasteful and environmentally unsound.

MimsyPimsy · 21/09/2016 15:07

My DH does the washing, as I've proved incompetent over the years... who knew you should separate darks and lights? Confused

lightgreenglass · 21/09/2016 15:07

The seats! Shock

Does she live with Sheldon or the female version of him?

I'm with the PP, if she's doing the kids washing and won't wash her DH's she's an idiot not a feminist. I'm at home more the DH so I do it. He does other chores. It's not split down the middle but it works for us.

MammyToBe1216 · 21/09/2016 15:08

I do all my DH's washing. As many posters mentioned it's more efficient to do it all together. We each have our jobs around the house and the washing is mine. DH empties the bins but he doesn't leave my rubbish for me to take out myself.

I don't trust him to wash my clothes because he is colour blind and also has poor eyesight so I think he wouldn't separate the clothes correctly or follow the proper care instructions.

I have heard lots of women say they don't do their DH's washing and it seems to be a feminism thing but they will still cook dinner for him and do other jobs so I'm not sure what the big deal with washing clothes is.

Also, maybe I'm a bit weird but I quite enjoy the whole process of washing clothes and ironing. As housework goes I much prefer those jobs to mopping floors, cleaning bathrooms etc.

MrsJayy · 21/09/2016 15:10

Your friend is a bit of a loon really there is much more to feminisim than the washing if she is quite happy to wash her own clothes and leave his to make a pointlet her crack on most people just stick the washing on.

MrsJayy · 21/09/2016 15:11

I wont pick up his washing bugger that but if its in the basket it gets washed.

Cackleberry4 · 21/09/2016 15:18

A friend of mines husband does all the washing. Consequently she is only 'allowed' to wear black or white underwear. He is a knob.

His and hers washing is bonkers.

rackhampearl · 21/09/2016 15:23

Bollocks, my husband works long hours to provide me with the clothes on my back, I'm doing his washing lol.

CrepeDeChineWag · 21/09/2016 15:27

Fucking hell. These people who insist on having 'yours' and 'mine' in a family context. It's so mealy mouthed and tiresome.

My laundry/your washing up/her ironing/your share of the bill for a cup of coffee and a god-damn fucking biscuit and hand on whilst I get the calculator out because you had chocolate chips in your cookie making it 7p more expensive than MINE Angry

MerylPeril · 21/09/2016 15:28

I do all the washing - there is only 3 of us, there isn't that much to be honest.

Separating it to who it belongs to would frankly be stupid. I have to wait ages to justify a whites wash as it is.

BeardMinge · 21/09/2016 15:32

Whoever puts the washing in the machine does the washing in our house. Sometimes it's me, sometimes it's him. Usually done on the days when one of us is wfh. Whoever takes it out of the machine hangs it out, and whoever brings it in, then folds it up.

I don't iron though, ever. DP does his own work shirts on a Sunday evening for the week ahead whilst I prostrate myself on the sofa to leer over Aidan Turner.

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