Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To do my husbands washing?

185 replies

Mrsemcgregor · 21/09/2016 13:57

I was chatting to a friend the other day and she was very surprised that I do my husbands washing. I had never even thought about it, I just bung all the washing in together. She mocked me a bit and said that my husband was a grown man and should do it himself, like I was being completely anti-feminist. Have I missed something here? Am I being a doormat by doing his washing?! It makes no sense to me to separate it out and expect him to do it himself.

OP posts:
TaterTots · 21/09/2016 14:10

Separating washing into his and hers is not a feminist statement. It's just a bloody faff.

catduckchuck · 21/09/2016 14:11

Isn't it harder work to separate?

Original poster
Mrsemcgregor · 21/09/2016 14:11

Rollinghedgehog, yup different baskets for washing and clean clothes, she does hers and her kids and he does his including ironing and putting away. Sometimes his clean washing will be sat waiting to be put away for days and she will moan about it!!

OP posts:
milkyface · 21/09/2016 14:12

YANBU it would take me longer to separate washing than it does to just throw in lights/darks/whatever

soundsystem · 21/09/2016 14:12

Yanbu. It makes no sense for everyone in the house to do their own washing, and would be a waste of energy/water.

If I put a wash on then all the dark or light items that are in the washing baskets go in, regardless of whether they belong to me, DH or DD. The same as when DH does the dishes, he does everyone's dishes not just his!

Your friend is odd.

Perfectlypurple · 21/09/2016 14:13

I do his, he does mine. Same with ironing and pretty much everything apart from cooking. My dh isn't good at cooking and I would rather do my own.

TheSparrowhawk · 21/09/2016 14:14

DH and I have separate wash baskets, we don't wash each other's clothes unless one of us is ill/needs extra help. We both sash the children's clothes/towels/bedclothes.

DoYouRememberJustinBobby · 21/09/2016 14:14

In our house, if you are putting on a load it had better be a full one. As such we scout out the laundry basket and his floordrobe for anything which can be bunged in.

We are a partnership, doing things for the other one doesn't have to be an act of sacrifice, it's just getting shit done.

ProseccoBitch · 21/09/2016 14:14

I do my DP's washing, sort the drying and put it all away. If I left it to him he'd be washing my bras with his work jeans (he has a dirty job) and he can't hang things on the line properly (think one peg in the middle of each item).

lalaloopyhead · 21/09/2016 14:15

All our washing goes in together, would be a bit weird to do otherwise. Usually it is a call for a certain load 'anyone got any darks they want doing??' etc.

Dh does know better than to just chuck my stuff in with his though, after a few ruined garments I prefer to check first!

BlueLeopard · 21/09/2016 14:17

Here we sort laundry loads into darks, whites and colours, not genders.

If she's such a bloody feminist, why is she responsible for the kid's washing? Why are they not splitting that equally?

trufflehunterthebadger · 21/09/2016 14:17

TheNaze, she can be hard work. Lots of rules in their house that tire me out just listening to them!

Please give more examples so i can enjoy a laugh over my lunch

Creativemode · 21/09/2016 14:18

Mrsmcgregor is it possible that they've fallen out in the past because he does bugger all?

I've seen thread on here where an op has been advised not to do any of his washing or cooking because he won't chip in.

In normal circumstances I think it would be very spiteful to do a wash and leave out one persons things.

Original poster
Mrsemcgregor · 21/09/2016 14:19

Very good point Blueleopard!

OP posts:
idontlikealdi · 21/09/2016 14:19

We have a division of jobs in this house - washing is mine because I can't bear the way he hangs stuff up. He does lots of other things though.

isittimeforcoffee · 21/09/2016 14:19

All ours goes in together. We don't exactly take it in turns in doing the washing, just whoever has a spare 5 mins to chuck it in puts it all in. I generally put everyone's clothes away. I don't iron anything, but if anyone ever needs anything ironed, like special shirts or my linen trousers, OH does it.

CharminglyGawky · 21/09/2016 14:19

I'm not sure my DH has ever even turned our washing machine on, we have had it 3 years!

He is perfectly capable of doing his own washing, did so for years in fact but he shoved everything in together and only ever ran the quick wash.... I like to separate my clothes based on colours ect and whilst the quick wash is useful I do like to choose the wash based on what I'm putting in it. I'm the awkward one so I do the washing, splitting it up into his/hers is just silly and a waste of time and probably water as well!

Chinnygirl · 21/09/2016 14:19

We both do the washing and don't seperate in his or hers. He does keep a few of my more colorful dresses seperate because he is unsure which have to be washed seperatly. He asked me once if that was OK and it's totally fine. He would do it if I asked him to.

Original poster
Mrsemcgregor · 21/09/2016 14:23

Creativemode- I don't think it's a result of a falling out, but it's possible!

Trufflehunter - other examples are that everyone has specific seats on the sofa and arm chairs and no one (not even guests) can sit in another persons spot even if that person isn't there. I made the mistake once of sitting down in her husbands seat (he was at work) and got told to move to the "guest seat".

OP posts:
ecuse · 21/09/2016 14:25

My husband is a SAHP and does the majority of the laundry. I do a bit here and there, but not as much as him. I often tell him he mustn't feel obliged to do mine (but I'm grateful that he does) but TBH I can see it makes no sense for him to separate out loads of darks/whites and deliberately leave mine out. Just like it would be a bit weird for me to throw in a load of just my stuff at the weekends and totally ignore his & the kids' stuff.

The point isn't who does which tasks, the point is to get a division of labour that feels fair and ideally ends up with you both having similar amounts of downtime. Exactly who does what to achieve that doesn't matter a jot (card carrying feminist).

DoinItFine · 21/09/2016 14:25

Washing is my job and I do everybody's.

Unless I am away or busy elsewhere, in ehich case DH will do it.

Ironing is his job and he does everybody's.

Unless I have some spare time, in which case I will do it.

We separate washing according to colour and type, not wearer.

Tootsiepops · 21/09/2016 14:28

I don't do my husband's laundry, but only because I'm lazy. He uses a laundry basket and I mostly chuck my stuff on the floor in the spare room Blush

I do laundry only when I absolutely must like being down to my last pair of clean knickers so if my husband doesn't do his own, he runs the risk of having no clean work shirts.

We both do our 10 m/o's washing.

Shutupanddance1 · 21/09/2016 14:29

I'm SAHM and I do all our washing.. Um, isn't it more economical to do the laundry together instead of doing lots of half washes?

Hubby pulls his weight around the house and was well able to put on the washing machine when I had my c section..

FlyingElbows · 21/09/2016 14:29

In our house we have "the" washing not "my" washing and "your" washing. We are a family and a team, we pull together and share the jobs. I'm more than happy to chuck a wash on if he'll cut raw chicken. See, teamwork. Op your friend is odd. I should imagine living with that sort of "feminism" would wear thin very very quickly (yes, mother, I'm looking at you!)

helenatroy · 21/09/2016 14:29

I do all the housework and of course my husbands washing but I work part time (for him) from home. He earns very well and I pay no bills at all. I'm six weeks away from giving birth.