To think that the practice nurse should think before speaking

[YoureMyWifeNowDave]

I've just taken DS for his 8 week jabs and as I went in the nurse says hello and then asks who I am as I am "obviously not mum"!

Admittedly I am an older mum (I'm 44) and my hair is a little grey as I have started having allergic reactions to hair dyes but she made me feel absolutely ancient

AIBU to think that she was a little out of order here? Luckily I am not suffering from PND but if I had been feeling down I think this would have really upset me it did tbh

Depends what they wish to be called but we don't have many of them who come in regularly . Being in Wales we had quite a few Doctors with the same surname, the first name being used is to differentiate between them.

I still remember lying in the anaesthetics room outside the operating theatre waiting to have a c-section for delivering DS. I was 46 at the time. The spinal block wasn't taking (or whatever the technical term is) for the second time and I was being tilted from side to side on a very narrow trolley and hanging on for dear life as I was convinced I was going to fall off on to the floor. The anaesthetist was muttering darkly about having to give me a GA which I really didn't want.

In the midst of all of this, one of the theatre nurses decided to ask me: "And why exactly did you leave it so late to have another baby...?"

There were actually very good medical reasons but I didn't feel like sharing them with her at the time as it happens...

Maybe the comment had absolutely nothing to do with the Op's age and the Nurse actually thought that she looked 'too good' to have recently given birth and therefore couldn't possibly be 'mum !!

I had my last at 42 and TBH by then I had learnt the art of perfecting my make up (to hide the eye bags)knew how to dress to hide post baby bulge and realised a good blow dry was worth its weight in gold !
That lot coupled with a 'don't give a shit' attitude about trying to appear the perfect mother probably didn't fit the stereo typical image of someone who'd just given birth.

I cannot believe how many hcps think it is appropriate to refer to a woman who isn't actually their mother as "mum". It's just disrespectful and incorrect.

My children's teachers expected my dc to call them Miss, Mrs or Mr x. I was occasionally called John's mum which was entirely correct; otherwise it was Mrs Roses. Never, ever "OhThe" because the teachers knew it would be rude and disrespectful to a parent.

Once the children were teenagers it became first name, except with the Head.

One day I might update the records now DH has an honour but that would just be wanky and I've no intention of doing so. OTH, the next time a nurse calls me "mum"

I would love it if someone called me by my first name. I'm normally called "you fucking cunt" or "miss" if it's a good day!

Well, I suppose if they think you're an fc that could extend to someone who's a bit "fruity*

I dont think it's anything to do with me or my personality when you take people's opiates away from them without their consent in a place they are forced to stay in that seems to make them pretty angry! It's only during medication rounds I get swore at and water chucked at me funnily enough.

I've had the grandma thing before, but the worst I've ever had was a nurse at a clinic I regularly attendso they'd definitely seen me pregnantmarching over to me and aggressively asking me if this was my baby. I'm black, and at the time my newborn son was very, very pale. Their implication was very nasty and I wish I'd complained at the time.

I often get called little heads mum at school!

I don't mind a bit! In fact I like being called that better than anything else!

Seems v odd. I would have thought it was more useful to have a child in your mid 40s than grandchild surely

Usual I meant

Really tactless and could have tipped you over the edge if you had PND.
I've had many tactless healthcare professionals over the years; perhaps it's just because I'm of a certain age.
When I was 30, I was referred to as 'Mum' to my friend - she was 22 - when we went to donate blood. I was a bit concerned about her ability to hit a vein if her sight was that bad.
Had a doctor's receptionist shout across a crowded waiting room, 'Are you here for a smear?' I was mortified; there were kids, men, old and young present.
Gynae, after a very vigorous examination that was more like an assault and after I dared to wince, 'I wouldn't have to push so hard if you weren't so fat' (Size 20)

Roses I have a PhD and really hate it when people call me 'Dr Johnny'. Makes me sound like a daytime tv host - eurgh.

I really don't understand why all HCPs don't use first names. It's like stepping back to the 70s. My solicitor is 'Nick', almost everyone I contact professionally just automatically uses first names........... I find it v odd when people who are often younger than me announce 'I'm Dr X'.

OP obviously YANBU but I'm sure she'll never, ever do it again.

That's rather a 'knock back' comment, and rather illogical as there are so many mothers who are older than has been the norm in years past. Not very tactful, and there must be so many people lined up for this lady to upset, given the demographics of life now.

The nurse I went too presumed I had more than one... Because I'd got him undressed quickly...

An elderly neighbour once asked if my son was in! I was 32 at the time and she was referring to my 30 year old boyfriend. I felt really crap that day!!! We all make mistakes and hopefully she will think next time. X

My GP said, "Oh, here's one of our dinosaurs" when I visited him, pregnant at 35.

My father always tells of an incident in his first few solo runs with patients - one in which an older lady and a teenager come in and he tells the boy that his "granny" can wait outside if he wishes. She says outraged: "I am his wife". My father always said this was the last time he addressed any patients with family relationships implied.

Jill that's awful, was it Doctor Martin Ellingham (Doc Martin) you saw?

The woman in the post office assumed I was my daughter's grandmother a few months ago, I'm 41. My mum had me at 39 though and everyone though she was my granny when I was a kid too.

I don't really give a fuck tbh. Technically I am old enough to be her gran.

I can see why it stings OP, but technically you're old enough.

I'm an older mum too and I've been asked a few times if I'm mum or nan. The first time I cried! I always thought I was quite young and trendy too.

Ha. My last smear test. Fairly grumpy looking nurse. I assume the position. She runs the speculum under the warm tap. Tries to [shove] it in, it's not going. And I mean, she's using a reasonable amount of force (if it was lubricated properly, you shouldn't need to put any effort behind it should you). So she asks me "How old are you?". I'm 49 says I. Obviously intimating that my vag is as dry as the sahara (it's not, particularly, but clearly lying on a trolley having stainless steel shoved up you isn't entirely conducive to self produced lubrication). Then she further insults me - asks me to lift my ass a bit because my "cervix is tilted the wrong way" - like it was doing it on bloody purpose, just to piss her off!!

So anyway, medical staff can get it wrong. I'm just making sure I don't have her for the next one - I'm going to ask specifically.

Your health 'professional' shouldn't really have made that schoolboy error - women are having babies later and later in fact my own mum didn't have me until she was 40, so it's not beyond the realms that a mum might appear a bit older. Silly woman (her, not u!!).

Cheeky bloody sod! When dd had her tiny baby jabs (can't remember which) she was dressed in some hand-me-down clothes from my sister's dd which was a really cute tracksuit and trainers. I wouldn't have picked the outfit from a shop myself but it was really cute (and free!). Anyway, two nurses doing the jabs obviously thought fairly new born dd was a chav, and were fucking pissing themselves laughing, repeatedly asking her "are you going to the gym, baby, hahaha?" fuck off. There's really no need to be a cunt when you're a jab nurse, surely?!