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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that the practice nurse should think before speaking

192 replies

YoureMyWifeNowDave · 21/09/2016 11:36

I've just taken DS for his 8 week jabs and as I went in the nurse says hello and then asks who I am as I am "obviously not mum"!

Admittedly I am an older mum (I'm 44) and my hair is a little grey as I have started having allergic reactions to hair dyes but she made me feel absolutely ancient Sad

AIBU to think that she was a little out of order here? Luckily I am not suffering from PND but if I had been feeling down I think this would have really upset me it did tbh

OP posts:
PoppyBirdOnAWire · 21/09/2016 14:14

...regularly

Ginslinger · 21/09/2016 14:21

tactless but I think a breach of rights is taking it too far.

Flowers OP - I DC3 when I was older and remember those moments

ArcheryAnnie · 21/09/2016 14:21

That was incautious of the nurse, OP, and not much fun for you.

I think it's always a good plan not to make assumptions about who and how people are related. I was once accused by a family-friendly wildlife park - to which I had long had membership - of being the nanny and fraudulently using my employer's membership card to get in free, because me and DS aren't the same skin colour. I had an opinion about that, i can tell you, and they heard it at great length.

DixieWishbone · 21/09/2016 14:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mollie123 · 21/09/2016 14:22

violet
I really don't see that your neighbour (regardless of whether she was over 80) was being rude - it was obviously a friendly remark thinking you were about to have a happy event.
There was no need for you to put her down in the way you did.
80 year olds are not that happy to know about periods and such with people they don't know that well.
At least she did not think you were too old to be a monther
Kindness and understanding when people put their foot in their mouth - costs nothing.

Helmetbymidnight · 21/09/2016 14:25

I think the use of the word 'obviously' is best to be avoided, unless it is, you know, obvious.

Headofthehive55 · 21/09/2016 14:30

I get irritated when people refer to my husband as my partner. No he's my husband. Oh is this your partner? No he's my husband. So I think they have a difficult job deciphering.

Helmetbymidnight · 21/09/2016 14:33

But they wouldn't say, 'so this is obviously your partner' or 'this is obviously not your husband'.

Its the 'obviously' that annoys the most (obviously) :)

CuntWagon · 21/09/2016 14:43

Poppy - I know I shouldn't bite, but the OP is also a nurse. Maybe she's one of us stupid ones Grin

mumofthemonsters808 · 21/09/2016 14:49

Oh no, this would make me feel awful too, it's the "obviously" that makes it harsh, I bet she felt awful too when she realised what she'd said. TRy to let it go though, it's just a mistake.Upto now, it's not happened to me, but my OH was devastated to be wrongly referred to as Grandad.

GingerbreadCake · 21/09/2016 14:50

She sounds like a clown. I'd ask where the nurse is as she obviously isn't one!

VioletBam · 21/09/2016 14:52

Mollie bullshit. It's INCREDIBLY rude to ask such a personal question!

That's accepted here on MN. You simply don't ask! You can ask something leading if you're nosy but NEVER ask a woman if she is pregnant.

GreatPointIAgreeWithYouTotally · 21/09/2016 14:57

Unless you're a radiographer, pharmacist, doctor, etc

maddiemookins16mum · 21/09/2016 14:58

"Breach of rights", "make a formal complaint", deary me.
She was silly and a tad thoughtless yes but honestly I doubt she meant to offend.

OnceThereWasThisGirlWho · 21/09/2016 15:29

Icebeing I was 20 and classed as a vulnerable adult (which the nurse knew). I definitely think a relationship with 70 yr old man, in our culture, would be dodgy in some way or another. Clearly we disagree on this point.

grannytomine · 21/09/2016 16:06

People are thick or thoughtless. My husband was mid 40s when our last two were born and was often referred to as their grandfather. I'm 7 years younger and no one every asked if I was the grandmother. My eldest son was insulted when he came to the hospital with me and his little sister and they assumed he was the dad and I was the mum. I tormented him with that for years. He was about 25 at the time and I was 43.

grannytomine · 21/09/2016 16:12

I got pregnant the first time and 17 and the last time at 38. One doctor said, "Well you had one family when you were too young and another when you're too old." I was a bit open mouthed and asked when the time slot is that we are supposed to have them?

JudgeEpantz · 21/09/2016 16:12

Silly cow to say that to you. I recently had an appointment with a nurse for a routine jab for me and she had a mug with "Born to shop. Forced to work" on it. I was too busy trying to cope with painful jab to raise a complaint.
Curious that a pp thinks expecting respect and courtesy is trivial.

milkyface · 21/09/2016 16:17

Silly cow to say that to you. I recently had an appointment with a nurse for a routine jab for me and she had a mug with "Born to shop. Forced to work" on it. I was too busy trying to cope with painful jab to raise a complaint.
Curious that a pp thinks expecting respect and courtesy is trivial

You were really going to complain about a mug? Oh dear god.

op I'd be upset too and she was tactless but I guess there's nothing you can do! I suppose you could request a different nurse next time? She's probably feeling bad for saying it I bet!

JudgeEpantz · 21/09/2016 16:24

Yeah, a mug. If she was forced to be a nurse maybe she should force herself to be somewhere else.
I was hardly enjoying myself there either.

Soubriquet · 21/09/2016 16:26

That is petty Judge

It's just a mug. It doesn't affect her ability to do her job

JudgeEpantz · 21/09/2016 16:29

In my opinion it does affect her ability to do her job. " I don't want to be here either" is hardly a message you want to give someone coming to you with a medical problem.

Soubriquet · 21/09/2016 16:31

It's just a mug

I bet thousands of people have that mug in their work place

JudgeEpantz · 21/09/2016 16:33

Providing medical services is not working at the check out or in an office. Have the feckin' mug in the staff room; feel shit; whatever- don't dump it on a patient.

miaowmix · 21/09/2016 16:33

she was thoughtless and I would be hugely offended too.
But I kid myself I'm a young mum with a nine year old at 48!

Icebeing don't be so bloody sanctimonious. Who in the real world wants to be told they look older? Men or women? Ludicrous.