To think that the practice nurse should think before speaking

[YoureMyWifeNowDave]

I've just taken DS for his 8 week jabs and as I went in the nurse says hello and then asks who I am as I am "obviously not mum"!

Admittedly I am an older mum (I'm 44) and my hair is a little grey as I have started having allergic reactions to hair dyes but she made me feel absolutely ancient

AIBU to think that she was a little out of order here? Luckily I am not suffering from PND but if I had been feeling down I think this would have really upset me it did tbh

Certainly not an issue to make a written complaint over as suggested above

No, it absolutely is. She needs some training in awareness of how, when unsure, to say something like 'So who's this then?' instead of 'This is obviously not mum'. It's an important professional skill to develop and maintain, to be able to phrase a question neutrally to avoid inadvertent offence.

And based on most of the doctors and nurses I know, 99% of the time she does. Not everything people get wrong is deliberately rude or incompetent.

You can report this to her manager as it's a breach of your rights.

Really? What rights? A crass mistake, yes, but a breach of rights?

At my doctors if they are unsure they turn to the child and ask them who have we bought today?

Not everything people get wrong is deliberately rude or incompetent.

I haven't said she did either of these things deliberately. She could just do with a little training/a word in her ear about how to stop and think before she speaks to patients.

Dixie, a vet is not a meaningful comparison here.

She was probably kicking herself after you left the room...silly mistake I know but all of us humans tend to put out foot in it at some point.

At my doctors if they are unsure they turn to the child and ask them who have we bought today?

That's exactly the kind of thing I mean. Offence, inadvertent as it may usually be, is easily avoided.

Really unprofessional. I'd write to the practice manager.

Feel free. Because of course those of us who work in the NHS are just sitting around twiddling our thumbs and have nothing better to do with our time than respond to trivial complaints. It wasn't a great thing to say, but she was probably embarrassed and won't do it again

Why not refer her to the NMC and the practice to NHSE at the same time? FFS.

She certainly didn't breach the op's right as a pp suggested!

fitted, I haven't said NHS staff twiddle their thumbs and obviously I haven't suggested referring her to the NMC and the practice to NHSE.

If you read what I've said, all I say is writing to the practice might result in them giving a bit of training on how to avoid awkwardness.

We were both 48 when our first grandchild was born, and whenever we took her out, everyone assumed we were her parents.....I quite liked that!

If it's any consolation, my mum was 31 when I was born and people still thought that she was my grandmother and my sister who was ten years older than me was my mum

She's an idiot.

crikey...what a load of horrendous ageism.

Is a grandmother such a terrible thing to be that you should be really upset to be mistaken for one?

Is being thought of as older than our calendar age now a source of devastation?

Mind you, even being thought of as young is now an insult on MN too.

Sapphire - who from? Fellow clinical staff who have probably had equally cringy experiences? Or the practice manager who is an administrator? And quite obviously has much less experience of communicating with patients. Healthcare facilities are staffed by humans who sometimes make minor errors. The OP doesn't mention any other issues with this nurse. This is a total non event. For what it's worth I've had horrified looks and offended faces when I've asked "and who have you brought with you?" "Well clearly it's my WIFE".

PaperStars ... every time they refer to him as dad and I have to correct and say 'no that's grandad' and cringe that they think we're together when he's almost double my age.

I was picked up from hospital by my (now ex) boyfriend's dad. I was 20 and he 70! The nurse said "Who's this?" and I got as far as "It's my boyf..." before she said "Oh, your boyfriend". I was and and said "No, my boyfriends's dad" but for some reason I was the one left feeling embarassed.

I have no intention of reporting her to anyone! I just wish she had thought before assuming that's all hopefully she will after today

once and so you should be. it IS embarrassing to think being with somebody older is so disgusting that other people should never accept the possibility of it happening.

For those who have suggested writing to complain and that she needs extra training, things are pressured enough on the NHS without having to respond to complaints like this. The nurse was probably morified and the the consultation with the OP is the only extra training she'll need, she'll not make the same assumption next time!

Aww ,I feel for you OP. I have had this too but at the supermarket checkout and tbh , I don't think I look that old (I'm 47). Some people just open their mouths to change feet. I just laughed although I was a bit pissed off, and I'm sure she was more embarrassed than I was. Try not to take it to heart.

If it makes you feel better, I have an appointment at a "care for the elderly unit" at the hospital next month😮 and I keep getting letters for 50 plus life insurance😡 .I feel like sending them back to them writing "I'm NOT fucking 50 " on the envelope!

Presumably the correct form of address before vaccinating a child is 'Do you have parental rights over this child in order to consent to this medical treatment'

Then you don't have to ask anything else....

QueenLiz make the op feel just that little bit worse why don't you

So I'm guessing you have a terrific figure back already then ! Well done you !

Ignore the daft loon - she's obviously lacking in common sense !!