To say no to looking after friends kids

[egginthebun]

A friend has an interview, now if she gets the job she'll need someone to pick her two kids up from school and keep them till she's finished work. She's asked me to do it. I've had to say no and she isn't too happy! I have two of my own, one 13 and one 7. My 13 yr old walks home from school, I pick my 7 year old up. Her kids are 3 and 7. I really don't want to be burdened with someone else's kids every day after school. I use my very small car to pick youngest up and would need another two car seats which wouldn't fit in my car for a start. We sometimes go out after school and I wouldn't have room for 4 kids in car. Her 7 yr old is a spoilt brat and is really mean to my 7 yr old so that's another reason I don't want to do it! I explained the situation to my friend about having no room in car but she said we could just walk then it would be no problem! I don't want to walk! AIBU to say no? I'm starting to feel like the worse friend ever!

What goes through the minds of people who ask these things!

Hahaha, have you suggested she looks after yours all weekend every weekend in return?

Loving these replies! Yeah I think she is being a cheeky bitch! I've been a soft touch in the past ie taking her food shopping because she doesn't drive, giving her and her kids lifts for appointments and so on but this latest one is pushing it! Got a feeling she'll fall out with me over this but at mo I don't really give a toss!

'What goes through the minds of people who ask these things!'

It's funny. The OP's 'friend' expects to be paid for doing a job, but she expects the OP to do a job for her for free. FUCK THAT.

Haha expat my hubby said exact same words when I told him!

And you would most likely be looking after her kids for more hours than your weekend job, egg. Trust me, this person is just a user, not a friend.

She should do what every other parent does, pay for childcare

She is BU, you are not.
When I had a job interview with a pre-school child, my OH had to arrange time off so that I could attend.
I don't think what she's suggesting is legal anyway. If someone regularly offers child-care to anyone who isn't a relative, then I think they have to be registered. Rules vary according to age of the children, but I think that checks have to be made if more than 2 hours a day for under 8s.

I find, when asked to do ridiculous things, that laughing heartily works better than just saying no. Then cheeky bitch friends can save face by also pretending they were joking.

Presumably you have the children you have because that is what you can afford and you work your life around them.

If you had wanted two more children you would have had them. You didn't.

Her kids, her problem.

If she falls out with you over it then she was never a friend, but saw you as a resource to make her life easier.

No loss to you at all.

She is taking the mick, tell her to pay for childcare like everyone else has too!

expat has it! If your children need looking after because you have a job, then you ask someone whose job is to look after children. And you pay them. I can't believe she asked you!

at "you can just walk" !! Cheeky mare.

My jaw dropped when I read that your youngest is seven and she wants you to take on her three year old...

Not likely, mate!

And that was before any of the other valid reasons!

Yanbu

Even in general - who thinks it is okay to ask anyone to look after their kids on a regular basis unless it's paid or reciprocated in some way? (I accept family is different). Blows my mind. In an emergency? Fine. You take and I'll pick up? Fine. At a push, "for the next two weeks while my car is fixed" (or whatever)...but even then, they'd have to be an incredibly good friend whose kids got on with yours and you'd be buying them a bloody big present at the end of it....

Got a feeling she'll fall out with me over this

Sounds good.

Having a lovely new job will enable her to pay a child minder like everyone else does.

She's not your friend. A true friend wouldn't even dream of making an outrageous request like this, let alone try to make you feel guilty for saying no.

Just say No. No explanation needed.

Cats I think that only applies when payment is taken.
op erm yanbu. But you know that now :)

Yanbu. Her problems are not yours re not driving, no childcare etc. Tell her to grow a backbone and pay for childcare.

You don't have to be mean or nasty just say no.

YANBU. A friend asked me to do this once. She offered to pay but I said no, I wasn't comfortable with the responsibility of looking after someone elses child.

I was a SAHM and I used to get really peeved when mums asked me if I would wouldn't picking up their little darlings from school because they had a meeting/needed to work late. I gave up my job to look after my kids .... not someone elses Bloody cheek!

I gave up my job to look after my kids .... not someone else's

This made me smile - I absolutely feel the same way! Obviously, I will always help a friend in an emergency or for a favour - but, equally, I know I could ask them in an emergency too.

Bloody hell it's only MN that a friend would think this level of childcare is acceptable! She's outrageous.

Nuts.

What would really piss me off is that she applied for the job apparently on the assumption that you would look after her kids! She says that it isnt worth her going to the interview, which says to me that paying for childcare was never a consideration and you were always her go to plan, cheeky cow.

I wouldnt wait for her to fall out with me, I would be ditching her first!