To say no to looking after friends kids

[egginthebun]

A friend has an interview, now if she gets the job she'll need someone to pick her two kids up from school and keep them till she's finished work. She's asked me to do it. I've had to say no and she isn't too happy! I have two of my own, one 13 and one 7. My 13 yr old walks home from school, I pick my 7 year old up. Her kids are 3 and 7. I really don't want to be burdened with someone else's kids every day after school. I use my very small car to pick youngest up and would need another two car seats which wouldn't fit in my car for a start. We sometimes go out after school and I wouldn't have room for 4 kids in car. Her 7 yr old is a spoilt brat and is really mean to my 7 yr old so that's another reason I don't want to do it! I explained the situation to my friend about having no room in car but she said we could just walk then it would be no problem! I don't want to walk! AIBU to say no? I'm starting to feel like the worse friend ever!

And don't send her a list of CMs in the area or offer any solutions to her problem because all she will do is twist it round and manipulate you. And no offers of emergency childcare, either. She rocks up with them, 'I told you I'm not available to provide childcare. You need to make other arrangements.' 'But but' 'I am not available to provide childcare. Stop trying to manipulate me.'

Just adding my YANBU twopence worth.

Yanbu at all, that is not your responsibility, and a good friend would never expect that of you. She does not sound like a good friend at all, it is a big burden, you are not running an after school club fgs! Is she offering any payment, or expect you to do it for free!

I said no to a permanent childcare request/favor from a friend. It felt hard saying no but as time went on I knew I had made the correct decision.

One loft conversion, an extension and finally a brand new SUV told me all I needed to know about how in need she was.

Don't tell her you'll do it for money, either, because you don't want to, that will mean you need to register/pay tax, and most of all, her kid is mean to your child.

Just tell her NO again until she gets it. Some friend!

Pisstakery of the highest order.

No! YANBU. Your friend is a cheeky fucking bitch! And do not offer emergency childcare either.

Would run a mile. She needs to pay for childcare like the rest of us

Nope I wouldn't do it. If she can't understand then she's not worth bothering with tbh.

As expat said above beware of the "emergency" requests as well. You must not have a mean kid in the house making your child feel bad in his own home.

now if she gets the job she'll need someone to pick her two kids up from school and keep them till she's finished work. - yes, we other parents call this childcare. A service provided by professionals, for money. She's taking a massive piss here.

YANBU

I wouldn't do this...a one off in an emergency is fine but certainly not as a regular thing!

Don't offer emergency. She'll rock up on her first day of work, or text, 'I couldn't get anyone! Please pick up X and Y. I'll be by to collect them,' and it'll go from there. Anyone who presumes that someone else will provide free, regular childcare is a fucking cheeky chancer.

YANBU. She needs to use a childminder or after school club. The actual cheek of her getting annoyed with you for not doing it!

After reading the recent e bay thread on AIBU, I can imagine how piss taking and tight some people are, that seeps into other facets of their lives as well, that includes how they treat their friends.

I am not a massive Friends fan but one of the best lines from the show comes to mind now.

"I would but I don't want to."

Nah, she is the one being a rubbish friend by trying to guilt you into this and badgering you. Don't let her twist this round on you. You are not the bad friend here. Keep saying no.

Exactly no emergency cover, she could take advantage, say no sorry I can't your going to have to find a CM or after school club, I have my own kids to look after. If she gets annoyed and blanks you, good, she was no friend anyway.

Let's hope she doesn't get the job then she won't need childcare.

I'd say no and suggest she looks for a CM.

Yeah I thought she was taking the piss a bit! Just spoke to her at school gates and she said it's not worth her even going for the interview now....trying a guilt trip! No chance no way not ever am I going to have her kids! Her kids, her problem! My hubby works mon-fri, I work Saturday and Sunday, so apart from everything else, evenings are our family time!

Please don't even volunteer to be the emergency contact. I got suckered into this at my dc's nursery, pretty much everyday the mum just wouldn't bother turning up to collect.

YANBU, and I would say no right now. I once agreed to take someone's DD to gymnastics with my DD on a rota 'taking turns' basis and then her work hours changed and I ended up with the kid from 8.30am every Saturday (demanding breakfast and usually not liking anything I had in the house) until lunchtime. It went on for well over a year and if we ever felt like missing class and going out for the day I was made to feel awful. Worse, my DD didn't even really like this girl who was a spoilt brat and actually quite mean to her at school. It is far easier to say no upfront than say yes now and try to wriggle out of it later when you realise it is untenable. Also if her youngest is 3 that is going to be seriously hard work. If she gets a job she can afford after school childcare.