Would you go and visit your son, in uni, if they needed stitches?

[jimmyjimjim]

I'm definitely very protective of him.

It's on his cheek would you go and visit?

Just read all this thread. Glad you went

Also he is a very good looking bloke. The scar will add to that, give him a rougher look

OP you're so lucky that you were only 40 minutes (or miles) away so you could pop over and check he was OK.

DD was at the other end of the country (5 hour drive or 3+ hour train journey away) when she called me to say that her sore throat was so bad she'd been sent to hospital in the next town. Fortunately I had that morning put DC2 on the train to visit her and her friends really helped out. I couldn't drop everything and go as I was arranging a funeral.

After 48 hours on IV antibiotics she was well enough to be discharged, her sibling was still there and they got a train together home for a week of R&R.

buffalo you don't think being bottled would lead to emotional trauma? Really?

Ahh, I'm glad you were able to go - and glad those lovely eyes weren't affected. I bet he's shaken up after that - not sure what counts as 'emotional trauma' for other people but that would certainly be on my list . I'm sure you're glad he's got his fella to support him as well.

Thanks everyone

I definitely think he's handsome too

We had a lovely night btw!

oh poor love, that looks awful! Hope he's feeling better soon and glad you had a lovely evening.

Your poor boy

I hope it heals fast for him. I'm glad you spent some lovely time together though.

I'm glad you went. I would've too. I hate this MN thing of as soon as our kids reach 18, we should just leave them to it.

Is the bottle thrower going to be charged? I hope so. Those photos could prove useful OP.

No. If he's at Uni, he's a man and he doesn't need his mummy if he's got a small cut on his face. Good grief.

But if he was a woman and had been assaulted then he would need his Mummy? Like all the women on MN who depend on their mums for childcare and help when they have long left the family home? (Including the ones who complain their mums don't do enough). And all those grown women who go and live closer to their mums after having kids. Are they pathetic too?!

What kind of bizarre sexist nonsense is this. If my best friend called to say she/he was in hospital having been assaulted I would turn up at once. Why I wouldn't do that for my child I don't understand.

Is there a mysterious point when we stop needing comfort? Or is that when one is born with balls and a penis that one needs less solace when upset?!

Totally agree Luchi - you're spot on.

Craigie - at what point do people in your lives get any sympathy from you ? This is nothing to do with at what age your child becomes an adult and everything to do with people having empathy towards someone who has been assaulted and hospitalised. The OP wasn't traveling through the night to be at his side, she was driving 45mins to take her ds out for a meal. Would it really be too much trouble for you to treat someone you loved if they were assaulted ?

If they wanted me to and would also depend how far and other commitments. Would obvs cancel commitments if they were upset etc.. But might think twice if they were in Edinburgh and I was in London for instance..

Wow hope this thread is full of people that have only read the title... I went to a&e with my colleague who was attacked, is that helicopter working? sometimes it's not about the injury!!

No unless operation and staying in. Daughter had rugby injury in freshers week needing stitches and she was told possibly an operation she forbade me to come.5 hour trip for us so didn't go.

Craig, his face needed stitches, where have you got small from? He was bloody assaulted!

I'd go unless he didn't want me to. Some people don't. My mum only knew I was in hospital for my ectopic pregnancy because she took me there. I probably wouldn't have mentioned it otherwise. I had my boyfriend so I was OK.

Also I think this is so damaging to men. This idea that if someone who loves them wants to see them and offer sympathy and comfort then they must be somehow emasculated.

We expect young men to tough things out and then wonder why they can't communicate when they are in distress until it's too late. It's bullshit.

Anyway fortunately the OP's DS is not in that position and hopefully my DS won't internalise that message either.

Yes, I would very likely go.

It depends on the individual of course. Why wouldn't any mother go?

He was hit by a bottle of course I'd go and do something nice or just sit with him depending on what he needs.

Glad to hear your son is doing ok and that you went to him, I absolutely would have done the same! I think as previous posters have said make sure he gets support as being attacked can hit you later.

I'd go - and have done, under similar circumstances (not a son but a sibling, assaulted at Uni - drove from one end of the country to the other to pick them up and bring them home for a few days).

Glad you went OP, and glad you had a good night out with your son.

I also wonder about the strange dichotomy that will have mothers needing their own mothers (or wanting to be their for their daughters) throughout their lives, but the belief that sons become independent men immediately they turn 18, never to need a parent again. However I'm hoping this is just another example of Planet Mumsnet and that in the real world, sons can continue to have a good relationship with their parents regardless of age. I will certainly always want to be there for my sons, or their partners, or their children (should they have any).

I agree with the "ask him first"group. I'm glad you got to see him and had some quality time together.

When I was at uni I had a malignant mole removed (unplanned surgery). I wasn't bothers about anyone visiting after the surgery, it was after the diagnosis a week later I would have wanted support (the psychological impact of the incident rather than the incident itself). Thankfully my DF came when I had the second (planned) operation.

So glad you went.

He must be feeling awful no matter how brave a face he is putting on it,. An attack can really take it out of you - not so much at the time but afterwards when the adrenaline dies down.

Was it a case of homophobia? So close to his eye

Great points from Luchi, hic, Backing and others about double standards. Totally agree that, if a young woman had wanted to see her mum after being assaulted, no-one would have turned a hair.

I know only a few posters have been sneery but this isn't the first time I've seen 'mummy's boy' on here - think of all the mother-in-law threads. If even a parenting website can be like this then what's it like out in the real world?

And then we wonder why small, loving boys grow up to be emotional fuck-ups. And we all lose.