Would you go and visit your son, in uni, if they needed stitches?

[jimmyjimjim]

I'm definitely very protective of him.

It's on his cheek would you go and visit?

Please don't go unless he wants you to! Ask him and if he says a strong no then don't. I'm a student and have over-protective parents. I have ended up in A+E a few times whilst being a student and I've never told my parents about any of them because I know they would worry too much and probably insist on coming to see me and they would stress me out more and make the situation worse. They are loving parents but they stress me out more when I'm unwell and it makes everything more stressful for me rather than them being a good support. One time when I went to A+E in an ambulance my partner called them and told them, against my wishes, and my dad drove the 2 hour drive late at night to come and visit me in A+E and it was an absolute nightmare and he made the experience way more difficult and I really wished he hadn't been told - but my parents aren't exactly typical in that respect.

Well, he wasn't being an arse and then got hit, it was more of a bloke decided to just hit him

I would if they asked me to but not otherwise.

I would, under those circumstances. If he'd just fallen over drunk his feet I wouldn't think it necessary. But in this case he's been assaulted, and will be shaken up emotionally on top of the need for stitches. I might wait a week or so to avoid panicking/embarrassing him, then take him and his bf out for lunch.

I would offer to come and cook him his favourite food, then say 'Are you sure?' (whatever the answer) and listen to the reply!

Like meadowhay, I would find it more stressful, but I think it really depends on the family. I am quite independent and have a mother who doesn't travel well. She didn't come to see me in hospital at uni when I had meningitis!!

What absolute bastards they sound, Meadow...

Yes then, I would go unless he firmly told me not to. I think your OP was a bit misleading really. If you had said, DS has been bottled during unprovoked attack at Uni, should I go and visit?, you would have got different responses.

I hope he is OK

Go see your boy. Give him a hug. Give his bf a hug. Even if you just take them out for a quick bite. What happened is horrible. I can understand your concern at not wanting to look like a fussy mum. But go and see him. I hope he's on the mend really soon.

I'm very independent and my parents let me go off to uni without so much as a second glance. In those circumstances I suspect I would be telling everyone I was fine etc be actually I would probably be feeling quite vulnerable. If it's not going to cause you too much disruption OP aid pop up there with some chocolate for him or something. Nobody at my uni would have had a second thought if someone's mum had popped in in those circumstances.

Your poor boy

How upset is he? Does he want to go?

If he wants you and needs support them go. Otherwise just keep in close touch and support from afar.

He has stitches so I assume he has been getting the correct medical attention.

I have a very independent 21 year old DD1 now in her final year at uni. I would only go in cases of serious illness or injury though would always check with her what she wanted. Thankfully none of that has happened and the only one of us to end up in hospital was me. I was visiting her in Paris on her year abroad, fell and broke my arm. She ended up looking after me and accompanying me to hospital!

You know your DS. Take your cues from him.

Depends, if we are talking a few stitches picked up during a rugby match or a dozen stitches as a result of some assault or being knocked off his bike. Also depends on his character, is he laughing off the injury or wallowing in pity.

Meant does he want YOU to go?

I might ask, something like-

"I want to come and visit, but if you'd rather I don't, then that's ok. I'll take you and xxx for a nice lunch next time I see you"

In that situation, I'm sure a hug wouldn't go amiss, and maybe a coffee and some nice cake. If he is laughing it off, say it is to make you feel better, not him, and point out that it's you that needs the hug as much as him. Hope he's ok.

Even if he wants you to dont.
I was very shaken up having been knocked off my bike by a car. I had to go get bandged up and needed my mum to just clear up with the man that hit me that I wasn't going to press charges or anything and all that stuff. but after than she asked if I needed her to come down and I cried and said yes, she talked me through making a strong cup of tea while on the phone then asked me again and I said no I'll be fine. #MumWins. I was totally fine with out the cuddle but I knew she cared and that's all that matters.

Yes! my mum was a complete star when I was at uni and drove the 9 hour round trip on several occasions when I was unwell to be with me / bring me home, even if just for a day...I always said I didn't want her to but she knew I did!

Smashed in the face with a glass bottle by a stranger? Of course I would. Unless I had some feeling that our relationship would be irrevocably damaged by such a display.

Is it so different to "My wife's just been smashed in the face with a bottle and she's having stitches and talking to the police, do I really have to leave work and go visit her? She's an adult, she can handle it herself, right?" Or the other way around. "My husband's had his face gashed open, should I go see him in the hospital?" I get it, kids, independent and all that, but he's still only a teen. She's not asking to helicopter and nag about grades. Take your cues from him, sure, but... yeah. I am totally in the go-see-him camp.

FaceTime/Skype and ask him. I'd go but only if he had said he was Ok with that

It depends on your son, you know him best! one of mine would be mortified if I turned up over some stitches....then again he is as hard as nails and would probably have killed the offender .

Our other DS is very sensitive and quite nervous, (also gay), he would be really quite traumatised and I would be more likely to go and check on him to make sure he reported it and wasn't fearful of going out.

Given he's been assaulted and you are pretty local I'd definely go.

Yeah, I'm going to go thanks everyone!

I think you have to take his cue, Op.

Our DS started uni 45 mins away on Sat. He has some regular treatment at the University hospital, under local not general, but generally feels very uncomfortable afterwards and one of us has always accompanied him for the drive home.

He has messaged to say he will nip into hospital to sort his next appt out today, he thinks it is mid-Oct but now he has a timetable he can time it for after lectures.

We have said we will respect his feelings on whether we go across and meet him. He is only 10 mins walk back to halls, and he can then make flatmates aware he has had some treatment, so probably wont need one of us, but it will be his decision.

Probably not.

Ds nearly 17 had to have stitches due to a sports injury this summer while i was away. I didnt find out unril about 2 weeks afyer i came home. He just said its not a big deal.
To be fair he is used to injuries

No, but I'd want to. Son or daughter.

Go. Visit him.

When I was 17 I got "jumped" by 4 girls and beaten up and the next day I felt so low.

It was PTSD.

Your son's been attacked. It wasn't an accident...it was an attack. Sorry about this OP...poor DS>