Would you go and visit your son, in uni, if they needed stitches?

[jimmyjimjim]

I'm definitely very protective of him.

It's on his cheek would you go and visit?

Yes, he'll help him, I'm sure

I just feel bad!

No - this is part of growing up.

If it helps I would have been horrified if my Mum turned up at uni! I probably would have stopped telling her the heavily edited truth about what I was up to in case she turned up again

How horrible to think being lamped in the face with a bottle is part of growing up

Actually, I would, given your update. He's been assaulted, he hasn't just tripped up on the stairs or taken a knock at rugby. He may also need a little bit of encouragement to go to the police.

You seem to get on ok with the boyfriend OP- maybe if you are close enough pop up at the weekend and take them both out to lunch as a kind of pick me up but not specifically to check he's ok?

That way you are being supportive but not over-protective?

Yep that's fine. Maybe offer to meet him for lunch and see how he is. Don't go into the halls giving him cuddles.

Check he's ok. Then go and do a food shop for him and send him on his way.

As he was hit by a bottle, I would be suggesting a lunch date or dinner date with him to make sure he was OK.

If he's first year and just started, boyfriend or not (and most boyfriends / girlfriends are not allowed to act as next of kin in hospital emergency settings with students, medics far prefer parental phone numbers), I would probably go if he is in hospital, or offer to take him to his follow up appointment.

Thanks everyone, very helpful

Your son has been assaulted. Id go and visit it's not a small thing.

this is a joke right? You're not seriously asking whether you should visit your grown adult son for stitches on his cheek?? God I bet he's a totally mummy's boy. Stop helicopter parenting and get on with life.

no, this isn't a joke. I wanted to ask some other mums for advice... Yes, he probably is seen as a 'mummy's boy' (awful term) oh well, we get on very well

Don't be such a cow, thatdoesntsurpriseme. Some people obviously have better relationships with their families than you appear to.

I would go and visit him.

Ignore the "mummy's boy" comment, OP. Rude and meaningless.

I would go if I were asked, though DS was at University over 200 miles away so he probably wouldn't of asked.

He did dislocate his shoulder a few times while up there and I usually got to hear of it eventualll

For goodness' sake, thatdoesntsurpriseme. He might only be 17-18 and only have left home a week or two ago! And it's not just an accident – he's been assaulted so will presumably be in quite a bit of shock too (was it aimed at him, or was he just in the wrong place at the wrong time?)

Having read the update I think I'd find myself in the area over the next couple of days and take son and Boyf for lunch. Assuming not overseas.

Thanks

It's only a 45 min drive

I'd go definitely. Even tho mine is 10 hours away. I think the further away, the more isolated they feel at times.

OP when you say he has hit in the face by a bottle, do you mean it was generally flung and happened to hit him? Or was he targeted?

I think it really depends on the whole scenario. If this was a random bar episode and he feels Ok then I probably wouldn't go. If it was a homophobic attack then he may be pretty traumatised so I would go.

And if you can't support your kids when things get tough, what's the point?

Wrong place, wrong time!

Yes, I would.

If my friend had been assaulted and needed stitches I would visit. I fail to understand why it would be so unacceptable to visit your son.

Anyone who uses 'mummy's boy' - on a parenting website of all places - is unlikely to be someone whose opinion I would care about.

But I agree with lunch at a neutral venue rather than turning up where they live.