Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you go and visit your son, in uni, if they needed stitches?

177 replies

jimmyjimjim · 19/09/2016 13:17

I'm definitely very protective of him.

It's on his cheek Sad would you go and visit?

OP posts:
BackwardElephants · 19/09/2016 16:06

I would offer. Glad you are going to see him.

jimmyjimjim · 19/09/2016 16:10

He's very glad I came Smile

I'm taking them to dinner at 5

OP posts:
Mynestisfullofempty · 19/09/2016 16:24

I'm so pleased that you went and that he was happy to see you. I can believe the number of nasty comments on this thread. You'd go and see a friend who'd been injured in this way, surely, so why on earth not a son or daughter, of any age?

JoffreyBaratheon · 19/09/2016 16:26

One of our's went back and after 2 days, dislocated his knee... Now on crutches and he can't get to the shops or anything. We did the 300 mile round trip last week (despite still being broke from taking him back and getting him a lot of shopping, only days before), tot ake him to a physio appointment and so we knew he understands what's going on and what exercises he has to do. Turned out he was using the crutches 'all wrong' and in danger of dislocating a shoulder... He's been in a lot of pain and will be very slow to heal as he has other problems - but he was determined to stay as term's about to start (he's a 2nd year). He is autistic as well which means he struggles to understand drs etc and of course, appears 'normal' plus is at uni, so everything they were saying was over his head.

I had a few sleepless nights. We bought him another week's worth of food, and his flatmates are brilliant - cooking and shopping for him. His girlfriend is helping with everything else. If he didn't have the flatmates and lovely, lovely girlfriend, I'd definitely have brought him home til start of term (He'd already been at home since May, and wanted to go back as all his friends were back already).

I've now sorted out extra financing for him from the uni to cover the taxis he's going to have to use for a month or so. And offered to online shop for him but he says he can't get down the stairs to let the person in so it's easier for his flatmates to shop for him. I sorted out a GP for him (he can't do the forms and I assumed this had all been done in his first year!)

He was already in hospital and being treated for his fall when he rang. And my husband would lose his job if he took a day off - went through hell to get that day off so we could visit, as it was. So we had to hold on for a few days, because there was no way we could get there. We're now living out of the contents of the freezer for the rest of the month. Worth it just to see him, speak to the physio, and satisfy ourselves his friends are OK with helping him.

babyboomersrock · 19/09/2016 16:28

I broke my arm once and my parents turned up at the hospital. I was mortified. I wouldn't go unless he asks you to

That is hardly the same as being assaulted, is it? I'm sure your arm was painful but you hadn't been attacked, I assume?

So many heartless posters on here Sad

raviolidreaming · 19/09/2016 16:32

I'm glad you went Smile

jimmyjimjim · 19/09/2016 16:38

The cut definitely isn't life threatening, but it's bad that it was caused by a bottle, on purpose.

Fucking twat Angry

OP posts:
spanieleyes · 19/09/2016 16:48

My son phoned to tell me that he had been in the coronory care unit for 2 days after suffering from a deep vein thrombosis and a pulmonary embolism. Luckily they caught it before the clot moved to his brain-which would have caused a stroke. I went to visit him!
A cut cheek, not really!

Floggingmolly · 19/09/2016 16:56

Glad you went. Have a lovely evening together 😀

Squirrills · 19/09/2016 17:03

I'm glad you went OP. i hope he's okay.
Ignore the nasty comments about being a caring mother to a grown up. To quote from another thread I can't BEAR the posters who seem to think that come the 18th birthday parents should abandon all interest /assistance for their children.

Is the assault being dealt with properly? Are the uni / police involved?

jimmyjimjim · 19/09/2016 17:11

Yes, the police are aware. The uni isn't, as it happened at a bar, out of campus! Sad

The scar won't be too bad, thankfully.

Just going out now Smile sooo pleased I came

OP posts:
jimmyjimjim · 19/09/2016 17:12

I know it isn't huge, but that isn't the point.

Also, so close to his eye ShockAngry

OP posts:
PUGaLUGS · 19/09/2016 17:12

I am glad you went OP. I would have done too Flowers

BertrandRussell · 19/09/2016 17:16

I often wonder whether the people who seem to think that once your child is 17/18 -or even 16 in some cases- you should stop parenting them at all had very neglectful parents themselves and are passing it forward.

If a friend of mine was assaulted and cut with a broken bottle, I'd go and visit them! Why woildn't I visit my child? At any age?

Floisme · 19/09/2016 17:18

I'm glad you went and I'm glad he's ok. It must be really upsetting for all of you, knowing it was done deliberately.

I just hope some of the comments on here are due to posters being too lazy to read the whole thread.

Have a nice evening.

BakeOffBiscuits · 19/09/2016 17:36

I'm so glad you went. I would have gone too, it sounds like you have a lovely relationship.

Hope he's feeling better soon!

APlaceOnTheCouch · 19/09/2016 17:41

Have a lovely dinner together. I'm glad you went. It will reassure you that he's ok and he'll feel better for your support. Your poor DS Flowers

insancerre · 19/09/2016 17:43

Glad you any and its made you both happy
Hope he is OK and he does tell uni. Its not nice being assaulted, it can affect peoples confidence

teacher54321 · 19/09/2016 17:49

So glad you went. If that had happened to me I would have wanted my mum and I don't think any student would judge you! I was admitted to hospital last year on holiday, I'm 35 and my parents were on standby to book flights so DH could bring ds home and they could stay with me.

I was alsohospitalised for something minor but uncomfortable a few years ago and my parents came. Why wouldn't you want to visit if you're only 45 minutes away?!

Isthiscorrect · 19/09/2016 17:52

JimmyJimJim so pleased you went, and I bet your son is as well. You did the right thing for your son and for you. I hope he gets well soon and the scaring is minimal.
Ignore the naysayers, you did the right thing. Everyone is different and you acted from your heart. Flowers

Memoires · 19/09/2016 18:05

Yay! I'm so glad you did. Of course if your child is hurt and you're only a short drive away then you go. 3 hours across country, maybe not, but Skype will make it clear whether you do or not.

Students love being taken out for lunch/dinner by parents and other relatives, gives them a chance to eat for free!

Backingvocals · 19/09/2016 18:11

Also, this is what families are supposed to do. I can't envisage a situation where I don't make a visit to a family member who has had such a horrible experience.

Have a nice evening out OP and best wishes to your son.

BertrandRussell · 19/09/2016 18:13

If I was mugged and injured, I'd expect my dd to want to come and visit me.....

bigTillyMint · 19/09/2016 18:15

OMG! If my DS had been injured in that way, I would be there like a shot.
Glad your DS is OK Smile

NotYoda · 19/09/2016 18:22

Haha

Gald you went.

I would have asked mine and expected them to tell me if they did or didn't want me to.

Mumsnet is funny. Everyone thinks we're all Competitive parents, when the reality is that half of us are strenuous about not being seen to parent at all!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.