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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you give up your surname of you got married?

925 replies

windowt · 18/09/2016 20:27

I'm so undecided Sad

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 18/09/2016 20:28

I did.

But it's your choice.

Careforadrink · 18/09/2016 20:29

Never. Would have been a deal breaker for me.

DancingDinosaur · 18/09/2016 20:29

No.

LolaStarr · 18/09/2016 20:29

I did. I hated my original surname though.

PNGirl · 18/09/2016 20:30

I did.

JellyBellyKelly · 18/09/2016 20:30

I did, after thinking through the arguments for and against.

Tumtitum · 18/09/2016 20:30

I did, I wanted our children to have the same name. I know plenty who haven't though.

WhateverWillBe · 18/09/2016 20:30

I changed my name, yes. Not very popular on mn though Grin

CMOTDibbler · 18/09/2016 20:30

Nope, and I didn't. 19 years of marriage, one son (who has both names) and its never been a problem

crje · 18/09/2016 20:30

I didn't until kids stared school.
Just seemed easier to have the same name as them then.

windowt · 18/09/2016 20:30

Would you keep yours and he keep his and then double barrel future children, or would you double barrel yours and DH's too?

OP posts:
Arfarfanarf · 18/09/2016 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JinkxMonsoon · 18/09/2016 20:31

I kept my name. Purely because it made me feel incredibly sad when I thought about giving it up.

Mirandawest · 18/09/2016 20:31

Changed my surname the first time I got married.

This time I double barrelled my surname with DHs.

gunting · 18/09/2016 20:31

Nope. My son has my surname as a middle name and my partners as his surname.

DramaAlpaca · 18/09/2016 20:31

I did. I preferred his name to mine and I wanted both of us and our children to have the same name.

Cocklodger · 18/09/2016 20:32

No.
He took my name. same as my mother never took a mans name and I have her name, My children will have my name. I will keep my name and DH knew the only way we'd share a name was if he took mine, so he did.
I take no issue with others doing whatever they like (feminism is about choice not shitting on others for making a different one) but for me, it links in deeply with my feminist beliefs and identity and I will not allow that to ever change.

Bearbehind · 18/09/2016 20:32

What's the big deal?

Your surname is only the name you were given when you were born.

Why be so previous about it?

Having the same name as my children would be a bigger deal for me.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 18/09/2016 20:32

I did. Not because I thought I should. Just because I had a really boring surname and now I have a really interesting one.

If he'd been Mr Buttocks I wouldn't have done.

DoodleCat · 18/09/2016 20:33

Nope. My name is me. But it's a personal choice. I have no regrets not changing. I don't care if people get confused, I don't mind I if people call me husband's surname but will correct when appropriate.

KatieScarlett · 18/09/2016 20:33

I did.
My dad was a cunt though.

AppleJac · 18/09/2016 20:33

I did but i regret it.

I don't particularly like my married surname. I wish i has double barrelled it with my maiden name. Dd has our married surname and i would of kept it as that for children as my name was still in with theirs.

I dont know anyone that has kept their maiden name upon marriage

BluishSky · 18/09/2016 20:33

Yes I did. No problem at all. I like being a 'unit' that a shared name gives.

stitchglitched · 18/09/2016 20:33

No I'm keeping mine when we get around to marrying. The kids have my name too.

Mummaaaaaah · 18/09/2016 20:33

Wasn't going to but then was sad at not having same name is DS. I weirdly still chastise myself out loud in maiden name.

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