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AIBU?

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Original poster

To hate it when men 'joke' like this.

647 replies

KindergartenKop · 17/09/2016 19:29

Maybe it's not always men but I've never experienced a woman who has done this.

So today I took DS1 to a charity shop. He picked two books at 50p each. I gave Ds a pound coin. The man at the till took the books and said, 'That's four pounds please'. Ds looked worried and the man said 'Only joking, it's one pound'. We paid and left.
I've had people say this sort of thing to me so often and it always beffuddles me and makes me feel stupid. Am I the only person who attracts this form of idiocy? Aibu to be pissed off that this man worried my son? It's not fucking funny!

OP posts:
RepentAtLeisure · 17/09/2016 21:37

It is irritating, and I have only experienced it from men too. But it's not something that would still be on my mind ten minutes later. I just tend to think "Yes, well done you tedious fucker, you got my attention." It's usually the pub bore type, who have encountered so much polite laughter they've never had to worry about actually being funny.

loobyloo1234 · 17/09/2016 21:38
Grin

Far too many YANBU on this thread. He made a joke ... albeit not to your tastes ... god forbid someone for having a bit of harmless banter Confused

scootinFun · 17/09/2016 21:40

I had this happen with DS1 - poor kid nearly fell apart. I tossed it back onto the counter, said 'keep it' and walked out. Went and got him another teddy in the shop down the road where they didn't act like a prat.

SheldonsSpot · 17/09/2016 21:42

A grown man triumphantly outwitting a 4 year old is far from hilarious

Exactly.

We went to a 4 year old's birthday party a few months ago, and at the end of the 'happy birthday' song, Uncle Knobhead thought it was hilarious to jump up and blow the candles on the cake out - cue a really upset birthday girl with lots of adults telling her he was 'only joking, we'll light them again and you can do it this time'.

I felt like smashing his face into the cake.

BurnTheBlackSuit · 17/09/2016 21:44

Yes, I hate this. Yes, I've also only come across men who do this. It is not funny. As an adult, I can just about understand if someone is trying to be funny.

But to children, especially if you are in authority (including serving in a shop) they believe you- there is only 3 ways it can go- confused child, upset child or angry child. I believe even NT children don't understand things like sarcasm or double-meaning jokes until they are about 7. How are they ever going to understand someone lieing is a joke?

Billben · 17/09/2016 21:47

I'm with you OP. I don't care who does it, whether a man or woman, I just bloody hate it. They are not funny, and i do tell tell them that I don't find them funny so can they just get on with the transaction please. Or do they want me to go and spend my money somewhere else?

thefairyfellersmasterstroke · 17/09/2016 21:47

YANBU. There is nothing funny in solemnly pretending to a stranger that they have made a faux pas. There is no hilarity in making someone feel so uncomfortable, or even upset. Yes, in my experience only men have done this, and not just as a child.

Just last month I had a ticket inspector on the train tell me he'd have to report me for boarding without a ticket, even though the platform ticket machine was out of order (as usual), and everyone just pays on the train when that happens. Never had a problem before, although the regulations tell you it is an offence, so naturally I thought I had a pedantic inspector, and that he had also said this to the other dozen or so people that boarded the train at the same station. But when I tried to pay he said No, it's against regulations and he'd have to report me, or I should get off at the next stop. I admit I did panic as I has an appointment to keep, and my face must have been a picture as I babbled like Porky Pig trying to say something coherent then he burst out laughing and said he was "only joking".

Cunt.

BurnTheBlackSuit · 17/09/2016 21:52

"Harmless banter"

but it's not harmless to the 4 year old is it?

or to many adults, judging by this thread.

Harmless banter is a phrase used by people when they've been bullying someone else in my experience.

2kids2dogsnosense · 17/09/2016 21:56

Next time, buy one 50p book and ask for discount for cash.

2kids2dogsnosense · 17/09/2016 21:57

fairyfellers

I would have broken the bastid's legs . . .

BiscuitMillionaire · 17/09/2016 21:58

100% agree with you OP. My ex used to do this with the kids, and I had to explain to him over and over again that it wasn't funny to get one up on a small child. I also had to explain to him that he was in effect teaching DD not to trust him.

I think the people that do it have an empathy deficit - they can't imagine (or even remember) what it's like to be a child who believes what adults tell them.

SatsukiKusakabe · 17/09/2016 22:00

I really enjoyed having jokes made at my expense as a child...said no one ever.

(I realise that is a hackneyed unfunny expression to use, but since everybody was wheeling out 'special snowflake' again, thought I might as well.)

meran · 17/09/2016 22:03

It's definitely men who do this predominately.

I think all the people who don't get this are really confident and can't understand being a child with low confidence being faced with this situation and the impact it can have upon this.

I think teasing is cruel.

FathomsDeep · 17/09/2016 22:04

It is unsettling and can make you feel foolish when you're on the receiving end of these 'jokes'.

A few weeks ago, I was at a restaurant with friends. In was a Friday night and we ordered some wine. I asked for some mineral water as well. He told me they didn't have any. Ok, fine. I asked for tap water instead. He said they didn't have any of that either. Then he started laughing. Apparently, he was making a joke about how I shouldn't drink water on a night out, only alcohol. I didn't find it funny, really. I suffer from social anxiety and didn't realise he was having me on. I felt foolish, embarrassed and uncomfortable. I would never have complained or anything but it did tarnish my night out a bit.

FathomsDeep · 17/09/2016 22:05
  • He is the waiter obvs.
Pinkandbluemcdonald5 · 17/09/2016 22:06

These jokes are not funny, I remember them well as a child and it did little to help my confidence.

I dint think the joker means to be cruel, just they probably have seen this joke before and thinks it is a winning way to interact with children. They obviously can't read people as I doubt this joke has been met with a child doubled over with laughter.

HeyRobot · 17/09/2016 22:07

I don't find this upsetting, just dull dull dull. I've never found it funny and it's annoying when people think you're offended just because you think their joke is a bit boring.

I also can't stand the 'you missed a bit' style of joke. I once had a job serving coffee and when I asked if they wanted sugar every second person would say 'no thanks, I'm sweet enough' and it's hard to fake laugh after the first 100 times.

I have seen women tease children, but it's always men who do it to me now I'm an adult. I must have a teasable face as it happens all the time. Yesterday I was having a coffee with an older relative who wanted to go to the bathroom but finds stairs difficult, so I went to the counter and asked if the ladies was on the ground floor, and he said it was on the 2nd floor. Then 'only joking, it's round the corner on the ground floor'. I guess he thought he had me going as I was desperate or something but I was just a bit confused and then a tiny bit annoyed because he thought he was hilarious and I had to say 'oh, ha ha' to be polite.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 17/09/2016 22:10

Harmless banter
Bloody hell

It's thanks to this type of harmless banter that I now have a 17yo who after having 5 years worth of lessons on socialisation and daily living skills and going out and about in public and gaining the confidence to actually comunicate with a shop keeper enough to make purchases in the hope that he could gain the skills needed to live vaguely independently at huge huge cost, now can't even set foot in a shop without becoming so anxious that he is deemed to be a danger to himself.

So no it's not fucking harmless

Benedikte2 · 17/09/2016 22:10

Teasing makes a child self conscious, lacking confidence, shy and teaches the child that lying is permissible.
No excuse for it. And when did you last hear one of these Pillocks "joking" in the same way with his mates?

JellyBelli · 17/09/2016 22:11

'I was only joking. whats the matter with you, dont you have a sense of humour'...I've never heard a woman say that.
Local shops treat young children as they would adults, and help them add up their purchase and work out their change. How else are they supposed to learn how to make a purchase?

Only1scoop · 17/09/2016 22:12

To me it's harmless banter and certainly not only heard from men....

GabsAlot · 17/09/2016 22:13

i hate this

kids dont get the joke and some adults with sn dont either

i vaguely smile when someone does it to me now but had real problems understanding when i was younger

WillWorkForShoes · 17/09/2016 22:17

I've just remembered a time in a restaurant when the waiter took the piss as I hadn't realised we were getting an appetizer before our soup (it was a Chinese restaurant) and I asked for a spoon.

I told him he'd offended me (can't remember my actual wording!) and we got a free bottle of wine.

Happy to be a special snowflake!

balletcats · 17/09/2016 22:25

I remember a few years ago when those fish tanks in shopping centres were all the rage. Anyone remember them? The fish would nibble dead skin away from your feet?

Had it done with a friend once. We paid for ten minutes.

In that time, I kid you not, TWELVE men (yes, men) stopped and said 'hurrrr, might be sharks in there hurrrrr.'

We smiled weakly.

Velvetdarkness · 17/09/2016 22:25

No one who has defended this has said what about it is actually funny. Would someone explain what they find hilarious in the comment? Ideally without hiding behind the meaningless word "banter".