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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate it when men 'joke' like this.

647 replies

KindergartenKop · 17/09/2016 19:29

Maybe it's not always men but I've never experienced a woman who has done this.

So today I took DS1 to a charity shop. He picked two books at 50p each. I gave Ds a pound coin. The man at the till took the books and said, 'That's four pounds please'. Ds looked worried and the man said 'Only joking, it's one pound'. We paid and left.
I've had people say this sort of thing to me so often and it always beffuddles me and makes me feel stupid. Am I the only person who attracts this form of idiocy? Aibu to be pissed off that this man worried my son? It's not fucking funny!

OP posts:
CinderellaFant · 17/09/2016 20:10

I hate this- my 6yo son has anxiety and this sort of thing stops him doing every day things such as paying for things in the shops.

Another was in the airport- he was already on edge due to the strange surroundings and when going through security he put his teddy through the scanner and the man at the other end lifted it and told him he was keeping it. Not funny at all.

Jackie0 · 17/09/2016 20:11

I agree wholeheartedly op.
Jokes are funny ,making people feel like shit isn't funny at all .
Twat

RitchyBestingFace · 17/09/2016 20:13

YANBU - I fucking hate teasing, 'bants' and pranks - especially from strangers and especially to children. It's not funny - when has ANYONE rolled around laughing at something like that?

"Ha ha ha - he said 'four pounds' but really he meant ONE LOLOLOLOLOL. I'm pissing myself right now. Get that man to an open-mic night NOW!!!'

balletcats · 17/09/2016 20:15

YANBU

Hate jokes like this. They aren't even funny, but they make people feel like dickheads. That's the 'humour', I guess.

wasonthelist · 17/09/2016 20:16

YANBU - I am usually first to moan about humourless people who can't take a joke - but that's just not funny.

Couldashouldawoulda · 17/09/2016 20:21

He was being a twat. The poor little thing, I can just imagine his worried face. :-(

Backingvocals · 17/09/2016 20:23

Yep hate that sort of thing. I'm sure he meant it harmlessly, perhaps not knowing that a four year old won't know how to react. It's not funny to a 47 yo either but at least I wouldn't have been crestfallen like DS. But he may have just been trying to be jolly so goodwill points for that.

I also hate "Is anyone sitting here?" "Durr. It doesn't look like it does it?"

NavyandWhite · 17/09/2016 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Crispbutty · 17/09/2016 20:28

Good grief there are some really special snowflakes in the making around here...

duskonthelawn · 17/09/2016 20:28

Once when I was about sixteen I got on my local bus, asked for a return somewhere, and the driver said I couldn't have it. I must have looked a bit blank because after a few seconds he laughed and said "only joking". I was genuinely really confused I thought there was a detour or something.
I don't get how trying to make someone else look and feel stupid is funny. I was so embarrassed that I didn't understand the "joke".

pigsknickers · 17/09/2016 20:29

How annoying. The other week a man in our local supermarket thought it was hilarious that he pretended to id me buying a bottle of wine - heavily pregnant, late 30s and looking every day of it :-( I didn't think "ha ha, what great banter" I just thought he was a bit of a knob and I'll make sure I avoid his till in future .

SatsukiKusakabe · 17/09/2016 20:29

There was a man who delivered our tesco shopping and he was able to have a lovely bit of banter with my 5 yr old son without belittling him or wrong footing him in any way. Afterwards my ds said I hope we get that man again he was kind.

We've had relatives and others who don't know how to interact with children without joking at their expense, then when the child gets inevitably upset or anxious about what the truth is, it's all eye rolling and can't take a joke. So I'm not a fan of this type of thing, unless you can be properly funny and make the child feel like they're in on the joke with you, it's a bit tiresome. But intended without malice; trying to be friendly and jovial but ballsing it up slightly.

Also the op didn't say it was only men, she said in her experience she hadn't come across women doing it, not that it was impossible. People love to jump on these statements even if you put a disclaimer straight after.

A female shop assistant put my 2 year old's teddy bear behind the counter once and said she was keeping it. I didn't take it to heart though, she was just clumsily trying to entertain a child, but actually scaring the shit out of them Grin

TheGruffaloMother · 17/09/2016 20:30

I don't like this 'joke' either TBF. I don't see what's funny about making a person think they can't afford what they're buying. I've only been on the receiving end once thankfully but I did think the person was an utter wanker after.

hmcAsWas · 17/09/2016 20:33

Never, ever leave the house again OP. Its just not worth the risk

FanyUcker · 17/09/2016 20:34

OP, why are you so sexist?

powershowerforanhour · 17/09/2016 20:40

I've heard people who made this sort of joke to children get all defensive when the child was upset and the parent went to comfort them. "I'm doing him a favour helping to toughen him up" "He's got to learn to take a joke".
I suppose the modern equivalent is flinging the "special snowflake" insult.

TaterTots · 17/09/2016 20:43

It's about the weakest joke I've ever heard, but I wouldn't stress about it. Also his gender is beyond irrelevant.

TaliDiNozzo · 17/09/2016 20:43

In my experience it has been men who have done this as well, to address the point about the OP being sexist. I'm sure there are women out there who do it too, but I don't think it's fair to accuse the OP of being sexist when she's talking from her own experience.

Original poster
KindergartenKop · 17/09/2016 20:47

I'm not sexist! I've just never seen women do it!
Ignore the word 'men' then.

OP posts:
JustAnotherPoster00 · 17/09/2016 20:47

OP - Biscuit

And wow to some of the replies, think some of you need to take your catbum faces for a shit and your heads for a collective wobble

Did the guy even have his own kids or family with kids? Does he have any experience with children? Who know and frankly who gives much of a shit, he's crap at banter oh well move on Hmm

Howlongtillbedtime · 17/09/2016 20:47

I agree . When we flew last yr one of the men at security told my 9 yr old that his treasured teddy wasn't going to be able to fly . he thought he was hilarious . I thought he was a dick !

My son still remembers him .

FanyUcker · 17/09/2016 20:48

I think it is incredibly sexist. The title itself is sexist. Maybe the person saying the joke is a twat, but why make a sexist comment about it?

What would the reaction be if a thread was entitled 'Why do women always cry'

gleam · 17/09/2016 20:48

Ime it has been men that do this - to me as a girl, as a woman and to my dc.

SemiNormal · 17/09/2016 20:49

YANBU - it's irritating as fuck, my brother does this with my son and it just winds my son up which I then have to fucking deal with! (hence why I don't see brother much). My dad also does the same, no woman I've ever met has done it. Not saying it's just men but in my experience it has been.

rackhampearl · 17/09/2016 20:56

YANBU. I fucking hate this type of humour. My husband is the worst for it and it's so humiliating but even worse when it's to a kid. Generally it's harmless humour and the man certainly didn't mean to embarrass your son but he did and that type of humour always does. Recently went to Tenerife and we were driving around when my husband pointed to a massive (ginormous) hill and said 'that's Mount Teide babe' I was really uninterested as I had stomach pain and it's me who had got our babies ready before thr trip (nightmare in that heat) so I said 'yeah, I know' to curtail the conversation and he's said 'hahaha is it heck' and started laughing and teasing me. I felt like a right idiot lol!