To hate it when men 'joke' like this.

[KindergartenKop]

Maybe it's not always men but I've never experienced a woman who has done this.

So today I took DS1 to a charity shop. He picked two books at 50p each. I gave Ds a pound coin. The man at the till took the books and said, 'That's four pounds please'. Ds looked worried and the man said 'Only joking, it's one pound'. We paid and left.
I've had people say this sort of thing to me so often and it always beffuddles me and makes me feel stupid. Am I the only person who attracts this form of idiocy? Aibu to be pissed off that this man worried my son? It's not fucking funny!

what is often the case is that we have a significant societal issue on a very small scale

Microaggressions.

Best not talk about these though.
Any suggestion that this phenomenon might exist or that the issue you are discussing might be an example of it will be met with a hail of derision and surprisingly prolonged and committed sneers of "Utter trivia" " Looking to be offended" "He didn't mean anything bad by it ergo you're paranoid" "Have you got nothing better to snivel about" and "You just need to toughen up and laugh it off, like in the good old days".

I've had people do this and while it doesnt annoy me as such it is fucking stupid and weird to do it to a child who blatantly won't be old enough to understand that it's a joke. Save the "banter" for people who understand it.

It's an of one this. I don't like teasing, because it's a power game, and to end up feeling disempowered is not fun ( S and M aside......) , but as I've grown older I begun to see that it's often a clumsy , clueless way to try connect warmly with people. I think these guys think ' I'll say something daft and put people at ease, I'll look like a harmless fool, but it might spark conversation. ' I heard it a LOT in nursing.
If they get you on a bad day, you could always point out that jokes are meant to be funny...

What a fascinating thread. Some great posts from Merchant, Kerala, Ego and Banana.

Handbagcrab mentioned The Office- there seem to be a few posters who missed the point of that programme. David Brent wasn't intended to be a role model.

To the people posting this type of comment: nobody can ever successively explain what is funny about it to you 

You are unusually uptight and don't know how much you are missing out on

No dear, we are very aware of what we are "missing out on" - and I can assure you we're not losing any sleep over missing it.

When I was little I used to like people joking with me by teasing me like this. I understood that they were trying to make laugh and giving me extra attention just because I was a little kid.
When this happened to my own kids when they were little, occasionally they'd look at me and they'd know by my face that it was a joke and so they were fine and enjoyed it too.
If someone was doing it in a bullying way my face would've been quite different and the kids would've got that too. But that never happened.
Most people are nice and not out to intimidate four year olds.
With the fish and chip shop lady, I'd have butted in like the poster did because she took it too far and confused the boy which is yawnworthy and annoying, but it sounds like the charity shop man went from one line straight to the next and so was just playing.

Merchant: not everybody needs applause in the way you do. Bless

What's weird about this comment is that you're being partonising (assumed through you're use of 'Bless') towards Merchant because didn't give applause to some man for his unfunny, pointless and nonsensical comment.

The fact that people find man (it's very rarely women) that make these unfunny, pointless and nonsensical comments idiotic and don't respond positively to the comments by pretending it's humorous and therefore 'aplaude' these men seems to really bother you.

Not understanding the posters that seem to think the men that make these comments are poor harmless souls and should be humoured with the pretence they are making funny comment, and anyone who doesn't support the commenters view of themselves is wicked and evil (and it seem hysterical, sensitive and uptight).

Don't understand what's wrong with not responding positively to these comments even if they are poor harmless souls. I don't mean not responding positively by attaking the 'joker, (just in case some of the extremist interpret it that way) but by either looking at the commenter with a confused 'what?!' and say 'erm, ooookay' or just ignoring it and thinking 'bore off'.

Wonder if the OP's DS enjoyed the books ...

One of my relatives works in a charity shop with a couple of men who have ASD and might say something like this. Yes it may be wrong but why are people so happy to ascribe evil motives to interactions with strangers and why give it so much headspace!

However, being 18 stone and having a resting murder face means it happens once per offender, especially after I replaced the headtilt with a promise to throw them through the window.

Wow. Good job you don't overreact... of course threatening someone with violence is a totally proportionate reaction.

That's going on the assumption that Merchant has held on to this memory since it happened because it got to her, rather than remember it because this thread acted as a recall aid to an innocuous memory.

Yes I think a couple of posters commented the same.
I certainly believe that's the case in a couple of my local charity shops also.

And he's 4 - whilst he's not old enough to understand that kind of interaction, and he found it upsetting, perhaps wait a while before you let him go and pay for stuff. And before there's a chorus of 'why shouldn't he be able to go and pay at the counter' - it's because people do make jokes like that to children, often with no malice intended. And he's too little to understand that yet.

Wtf?! can we find some positive way of channelling all this aggression!
We all have different senses of humour and have varying degrees of resilience to possibly well intentioned but perhaps poorly received 'jokes'.
As I said earlier maybe the guy has interpersonal issues of his own.

I agree that in my experience only men do this. I have 2 male relatives prone to this sort of thing. They call it joking but to the victim it isn't funny esp if victim young. I think it is more winding people up or taking the piss. One of my relatives in particular seems to find having an ordinary conversation without little quips or exaggerations really hard and is getting worse as he gets older.

Late to the party on this one, but YANBU. I don't like this type of nonsense myself, but it is just cruel to do it to a child especially one so young. Those who complain about 'special snowflakes' too are really missing the point. What the shop assistant may have thought was harmless banter can affect a child for years by.knocking their confidence. In my own experience I used to go to step aerobics with my mother when I was around 8 or 9. Went for a couple of months, did not play team sports at school but loved it. One night we turned up ready to go and the instructor announced in front of me that she did not have the insurance for me so she would like me to no.longer attend. I had to sit the class out feeling really embarrassed. Now the woman meant no harm I guess but it out me off exercise until I was in my teens. Fwisw I went into a job that involves a lot of public speaking and I generally consider myself outgoing, so I am not saying these things have a lifelong effect, but what someone thinks is a throwaway comment can have an.impact on.that child for a while. I would have been annoyed too OP.

YANBU. It always annoys me too when people banter like this. I never know what to say to them. My annoyance must show because then they get all weirdly defensive and say they were 'just joking love' and tell me to cheer up . Except it's not witty, it's just stupid really and there's no real banter you can come back with.

I also loathe this shit - it's not funny, it's been exclusively male in my experience, and these 'raconteurs' thing they're far funnier than they really are.
There are many other forms of humour that don't involve teasing - which is just the humiliation in a big or small way, of someone else. I hate comedians whose routines rely on humiliating or embarrassing their audiences, too.
And for all the hackneyed comments, could people just have a think about how many times the waitress/barista/librarian might have heard that one before?

It's interesting that it's been so exclusively a male thing for many posters. I haven't found that at all. Obviously I have experienced this from men but also from women....mainly shop assistants.

I do remember one twat when I was a kid...I'd left an important parcel in the post office and gone back for it...only for the dickhead there to say "Oh! We threw it away!"

I still remember looking anxiously at my Mum and his face smiling at me all pleased with himself. That's not funny! And the fact that I remember if over 30 years later says something.

I always dismiss this fuckery when I encounter it. Eg. An idiot woman at the checkout in M&S says to my DD "Oh you won't be able to have any Easter eggs on Easter Sunday this year because they're cancelling it!:

My reaction

Don't lie...that's not even funny. DD this lady seems to think telling lies is funny, but she's wrong and of course Easter isn't cancelled.

Full on maybe but I won't have my children "fooled" in this way as I was.

If the books were priced up I would have turned the joke round " oh dear silly man can't even add up, haha, we know it's only £1 don't we DS"

Benefit of hindsight, I know, but if it happens again maybe have that answer 'at the ready' OP

Omg! Hasn't anyone got a sense of humour anymore... Why be so petty and childish. It's a joke.. Your child probably forgot all about it within seconds after leaving the shop and your insecure self has over thought the whole thing and now broadcasting it all over the Internet. Pathetic and get a grip and develope a sense of humour! You laugh, your child laughs, don't bring them up to bitch about people making a harmless joke.