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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate it when men 'joke' like this.

647 replies

KindergartenKop · 17/09/2016 19:29

Maybe it's not always men but I've never experienced a woman who has done this.

So today I took DS1 to a charity shop. He picked two books at 50p each. I gave Ds a pound coin. The man at the till took the books and said, 'That's four pounds please'. Ds looked worried and the man said 'Only joking, it's one pound'. We paid and left.
I've had people say this sort of thing to me so often and it always beffuddles me and makes me feel stupid. Am I the only person who attracts this form of idiocy? Aibu to be pissed off that this man worried my son? It's not fucking funny!

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 17/09/2016 19:51

It's teasing, but from a stranger, not nice. YANBU.

TaliDiNozzo · 17/09/2016 19:52

This is always done by people who think they are comedians but they're actually annoyingly stupid. There is no humour in this whatsoever. It's low level bullying.

YANBU.

SpeckledyBanana · 17/09/2016 19:52

It's a bit like the twat who called across the forecourt earlier this week. I was putting air in my tyres and he yelled, "what you putting in there love, 90 PSI?" The inference was that I wouldn't know how to do it right. Only he thought he was funny, and I didn't see anyone else laughing.

booklooker · 17/09/2016 19:54

It's called teasing.

It's been going on for generations.

(seriously! It really has)

ShebaShimmyShake · 17/09/2016 19:56

I did this when I worked in retail, but I always said it was £500 or more so there could be no doubt it was a joke. Most people smiled.

Dreamfoil · 17/09/2016 19:57

I have relatives like this. I am very literal and found it upsetting as a child. DS has autism and is much more, er... forthright than I was when people try to wind him up. Funnily enough when that happens they tend to have sense of humour failures themselves...

cutspujumas · 17/09/2016 19:57

Mumsnet in collective sense of humour failure shocker!

It's not something funny to have a sense of humour about. It's somebody trying to use their (non) position of power to briefly gain a moment of panic out of someone vulnerable.

PickAChew · 17/09/2016 19:57

Of course it's been going on for generations. Along with plenty of other ways of making people feel uncomfortable. Doesn't make it nice.

DonaldStott · 17/09/2016 19:58

Yabu to say its men as I have a sil who's sole purpose is to say shit like this to the kids. One of the kids want to go the toilet. Sil says ''I need to loo too, im gonna get there first'. Thats is one example. But it is constant and its not fuckin funny. It's annoying as fuck. Especially as the kids wonder what the fuck is up with her.

Hysterectical · 17/09/2016 19:58

I think it was mean for a four year old. I can imagine his little face falling. I assume you don't think it's the end of the world and are just a bit annoyed. I think the fuck off and biscuit (immature passive aggressive bollocks it is) was a bit ott!
Banter fellow idiots bg all means but be nice to little children. They tend to remember this shit.

Peevedtoday · 17/09/2016 20:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

afatalflaw · 17/09/2016 20:00

I find it incredibly tedious as it is the kind of 'joke' that is only funny to the person making it and relies on the other person being too polite (or possibly requiring a service so can't tell them to fuck off).

I smile weakly and combust with rage inside. Yes it is 'banter' - hate that word, but it is humourless, unkind (in this case), control freak banter.

DesolateWaist · 17/09/2016 20:01

It's not funny really and rather annoying but to say you hate something when one sex does it is hugely sexist.

Saucery · 17/09/2016 20:01

It can be a big deal being 4 and going to pay for something. You've worked out you have the right money and some twat pretends you haven't? Yeah, rofl.

AmeliaJack · 17/09/2016 20:02

This isn't just men, but I agree it's not funny.

My friend's Dad used to do this all the time. I was brought up to be unfailing polite to adults and used to just sit and seethe. Eventually I started turning down invitations to her house.

ShebaShimmyShake · 17/09/2016 20:03

Feel I should add, I never said it to kids.

shouldbedoingsomethinguseful · 17/09/2016 20:05

I had a Tesco delivery bloke tell my three year old his tv program was rubbish and he was turning it off, I intervened sharpish as his eyes filled with tears and tried to explain to my son the man was joking and didn't mean it, I'm sure he thought he was being funny...

powershowerforanhour · 17/09/2016 20:06

I agree with Fathoms. The point of this joke is to wrongfoot and worry the other person them make them feel a little bit embarrassed when they realise they've been had. So it is only really funny when played on somebody smart, confident and outgoing who likes playing that sort of joke themselves and laughs along in a "yeah you got me a good 'un" type way.
A little child is never going to "get it" and will just be puzzled and worried and it's hardly going to help their confidence with transactions with strangers. Most non wanky people would admire a 4yo for going up to pay and be kind, not view it as an opportunity to show off their hilarious bantz. You need to consider your audience with jokes- if you don't you're just an egotistical arsehole.
Why not post on MN about it- plenty of less annoying things get discussed here.

WalkingBlind · 17/09/2016 20:06

As someone with ASD it's not harmless at all. This would literally cause a rather distressing panic attack and I'm in my 20's. I understand sarcasm for the most part but this doesn't fall into that and I'm very literal and just don't "get it" how is it funny to pretend something is not what it is? I'd probably leave crying.

YANBU because people in retail need to realise not everyone they serve is NT or can even take a joke. There are much better ways to joke about.

WalkingBlind · 17/09/2016 20:07

By serve I mean at a till not as the PP suggested Blush

SecretMongoose · 17/09/2016 20:07

My FIL jokes like this all the time. He'd tell a child at a party for example that he'd run out of sweets just when he got to them. I hate it, when mine were little he'd just take it too far and make them cry. Now they just ignore pretty much everything he says.

WhateverWillBe · 17/09/2016 20:07

Aibu to be pissed off that this man worried my son?

Bloody hell. You're going to raise an extremely special snowflake if you let your attitude rub off on him. YABU, precious and ridiculous. It was a joke.

WillWorkForShoes · 17/09/2016 20:07

I don't think you're being unreasonable to be a bit affronted when someone makes a joke at the expense of your child, who can't really be expected to get the joke. You can shrug things off when it's aimed at you, it's different when it's your child.

When DS was 5, a friend made a joke about the football shirt he was wearing - 'Oh, I don't like your shirt. What you wearing that for? Urghh!' (they support the 'other' team in my fair city!) It annoyed me - an adult taking the piss out of my 5 year old son. I'm aware I was probably overreacting to then say 'we teach tolerance in our family!' but I couldn't help it. Words were out of my mouth before I had a chance to think! I don't think my DS understands banter, certainly not from adults.

kaitlinktm · 17/09/2016 20:08

My late ex FiL used to use this sort of "banter" all the time with my DC - the youngest in particular just couldn't seem to learn to deal with it despite us trying to explain that Granddad didn't mean it and it was only a joke etc. It ALWAYS ended up with DS2 losing his temper and having to be told off - it used to really spoil some of our visits. I remember one particularly miserable Christmas afternoon. After this we didn't visit on Christmas day any more as the DC were usually overtired anyway and left it until Boxing Day.

I now think that it was because this was the only way FiL could think of to interact with young children.

CinderellaFant · 17/09/2016 20:10

I hate this- my 6yo son has anxiety and this sort of thing stops him doing every day things such as paying for things in the shops.

Another was in the airport- he was already on edge due to the strange surroundings and when going through security he put his teddy through the scanner and the man at the other end lifted it and told him he was keeping it. Not funny at all.

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