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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Women on here

215 replies

InfinityTimesInfinity · 17/09/2016 10:28

Being reasonably new to this site/chat app ...
Having read a few threads in the last couple of days and coming across a lot of unnecessary comments .. AIBU to ask why it seems a lot of women on here seem very quick to throw nasty, horrible insults at other women on here?
I know people are asking for opinions, but, not character assassinations...!
Shouldn't us mums/women stick together and help eachother with advice instead of throwing horrible, bitchy, comments around?

OP posts:
Elendon · 17/09/2016 14:08

How is this for nasty.

If men really wanted to end rape/sexual violence against women, domestic violence and the killing and sexual violence against children, then they would have done it. They are the arbiters of power in all influential spheres of life, political, social and financial.

Instead they all seem to stick up for each other and never seem to get anything done. It always seems to be a women's issue, or a woman and child issue, never a humanity issue.

Frankly, I'm glad I've got that off my chest. And as a caveat, NAMALT.

Pagwatch · 17/09/2016 14:09

Do you challenge it when you see it Infinity?

Willow2016 · 17/09/2016 14:36

Infinity
The 'help' threads are amazing for support and encouragement. Chat is good for a laugh.

AIBU threads are usually where you ask an opinion on something. 9 times out of 10 you get lots of support and colourful language supporting you and slagging of the person who is being horrid to you.
But if you really are being an entitled, unreasonable twit then you will get told. If you dont want the truth then why post?

You can report any really nasty posts to the mods. You can block patricular posters if you dont like thier style, or you can just skip right over posts and not read them, just read the op's posts.

People are on here from all over the world, we arent all going to be nice and kind to others. Just like in RL. You have to take the good with the bad, call out anyone whom you think is just being nasty for the sake of it, (and report the bad if you want the post will get removed if it breaks guidelines) and enjoy yourself. Its 95% fab honestly.

LoisWilkersonsLastNerve · 17/09/2016 14:41

To be honest, it was the thread title that grated with me op. A bit confrontational. I hope you do stick around its a great forum.

gonetoseeamanaboutadog · 17/09/2016 14:54

Yes, there are a lot of people who use mumsnet as the place to work out the aggro they cannot show in real life. Really only in aibu though. HQ have made various attempts to sit on this but it seems to be such a core purpose of the topic that getting posters to stop being pointlessly sarky would now be like trying to take the water out of soup.

I don't think they realise how silly it looks

allsfairinlove · 17/09/2016 15:13

OP, as PP's upthread have said, there are lots of other places on MN you could go to for support.

Relationships for example, or parenting, chat, the list goes on.

AIBU is what it says in the title. You need to brace yourself to hear that you are BU if that's the case!

SoupDragon · 17/09/2016 15:25

Is this just a thread started under a name change because you didn't like the "robust" responses you got on the one you started?

RufusTheSpartacusReindeer · 17/09/2016 15:25

I am much politer on here than i am in real life

I think there are very few unprovoked mean posts on the site when compared to all the posts

If you take the topics one by one then AIBU probably has the highest percentage of rude posts

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 17/09/2016 15:33

Oh is it that day again? You are obviously yet another goady fucker who thinks it's okay to slag off a site that isn't compulsory

If it offends your delicate sensibilities then perhaps it's not the place for you.

Oh and there are men and non-mums on here too

MaudGonneMad · 17/09/2016 15:36

Is this just a thread started under a name change because you didn't like the "robust" responses you got on the one you started?

Spot on, SoupDragon

MaudGonneMad · 17/09/2016 15:37

And if the OP is who I think she is, she called everyone on her other thread cunts a few times Grin

Lweji · 17/09/2016 15:37

Is this just a thread started under a name change because you didn't like the "robust" responses you got on the one you started?

No way.
Shock
Who'd do that? I have my suspicions

DesolateWaist · 17/09/2016 15:39

AIBU to ask why it seems a lot of women on here seem very quick to throw nasty, horrible insults at other women on here?

Why should I agree with someone simply because we both have vaginas? Thatcher was a woman and a mother but that didn't stop her being a cunt did it?

Lweji · 17/09/2016 15:44

That's, of course, insulting to cunts. Which are warm, cozy and welcoming parts of the body. Wink

DesolateWaist · 17/09/2016 15:46

I also didn't mean to offend any men on here by using the term "mums" .. !

What about those of us who are infertile? I'm going to sit here and be professionally offended about that.

SoupDragon · 17/09/2016 15:46

name change fail here

DesolateWaist · 17/09/2016 15:48

That's, of course, insulting to cunts. Which are warm, cozy and welcoming parts of the body.

Oh yes, thats true. How about gigantic fucking bellend of a woman? Is that better?

ilovesooty · 17/09/2016 15:48

Good grief. How fucking childish to start a whining thread because you didn't like how the other one went.

nwbmum · 17/09/2016 15:49

There is a lot of nastiness and I was a recent recipient of a load of it. I was unwise to post in the AIBU section after a few drinks one late night.
It was so much shaming and discrimination and judgments. I think it's sad.
On the other hand I think the trolls are people who are unhappy in their own lives, and perhaps the topic posted brings up difficult feelings for them, which they couldn't deal with, so they project the hate onto others.
All in all the real sad thing is that people are not encouraged and allowed to show their vulnerable side to others. Because it's vulnerability that really connects people, not pretending to be tough and hiding real emotions.

ilovesooty · 17/09/2016 15:52

There is plenty of evidence on MN of people's support for vulnerability. Even on AIBU.

allsfairinlove · 17/09/2016 15:57

All in all the real sad thing is that people are not encouraged and allowed to show their vulnerable side to others. Because it's vulnerability that really connects people, not pretending to be tough and hiding real emotions.

I get the idea of what you're saying but IME, vulnerability IS recognised here, yes, even on AIBU. Being a bit daft and throwing a strop because things aren't going your way isn't the same thing.

DesolateWaist · 17/09/2016 15:58

The woman on that thread you linked to Soup did get quite a pasting there to be fair.
I think the posters had a point but there was a bit of uncalled-for name calling.

allsfairinlove · 17/09/2016 15:59

Slow typing! X posted with ilove Smile

JellyBelli · 17/09/2016 16:04

Elendon Star

ilovesooty · 17/09/2016 16:16

And on that thread a really nasty comment was challenged, reported and removed. If anything else was felt to be out with the guidelines it could have been reported. On the whole that poster was far more insulting to others than they were to her.