£9000 per year plus living costs and it is policy for the university tutor not to talk to,parents...am I being too precious?

[MillyDLA]

Just wondered your thoughts. My ds has missed the credits needed to move to his next year at uni, failing one exam by 2%. He has only just been told today that he can't return to uni until Sept 2017. I would have liked to have discussed this and meet with the personal tutor to support my ds in making the right choices. I want him to stop and consider all of his future options. However, even with my ds present the uni have refused any contact. I know my ds is a grown up, but this is a big decision. Added to that are all of the financial implications, student loans, a flat signed for for the whole of next year and future career/change of degree options. Big decisions to make.

I am interested in your thoughts around the lack of contact by the uni.

Thanks

Frustrating isn't it, not least the fact that it can become impossible to know what's actually going on. My son was ill and even then, the university wouldn't discuss his situation with me. Additionally, the ridiculous situation these days, where there seems to be no choice but to take on accommodation before you even know for sure whether they have passed their exams is ridiculous.

I know everyone here is absolutely correct. They are adults now. But sometimes it feels like watching a very slow car-crash and feeling that if only you could do something, you could sort things out. However, I suspect in the long term, it is probably good for them to learn to deal with things themselves. I just hope that the car-crash doesn't result in any permanent damage.

You have my sympathy OP.

Interesting, it does feel like you are a customer. Where else would you hand over £9000+ per year without any after sales service...and some of that comment is tongue in cheek, I know my ds will get some support...just it is my money!

I do think unis should get their act together in processing resits earlier. My DD is sharing with a girl who was doing resits, and has only found out she passed in the last few days. Under the terms of the house lease, both girls had to be students to rent the property. We were worried that our DD would have nowhere to live.

I merely wondered if there were any special needs involved as your nn includes DLA (disabled living allowance?)

As an Early Career Academic, this is something I dread. The tuition fee rise seems to be leading to some strange expectations, mainly from students, but occasionally from parents. When marking, the thought that someone has paid £9000 is simply irrelevant: either they are in accordance with the mark scale, or they are not.

Also, agree with poster's saying it would be odd to find out now. The marks for the year should be out around June/July, with resits (where possible) in August. It's now entirely up to him to sort out.

It's perfectly possible ops ds didn't find out until today that he can't return until next year.....but it will not have been 'sprung' on him, he will have failed the exam, sat a re sit then failed that too. He will have known for a long time that this is a possibility.

YABU. Dp is a lecturer and gets parents calling from time to time (their dc only ever miss grades by the very narrowist of margins!)and he would be breaching data protection laws even to reveal that their dc are students there.

From the uni's perspective, the only stakeholder here is your son. Student finance is funded by the government, so loans etc are nothing to do with them. Who actually pays your son's tuition is nothing to do with them. You have no right to any information or say - sorry, OP

No Fatherjemima, he really can't. This module isn't a module that counts towards his degree, but needed to be passed before starting his next year. He has been given two options. Wait to take this exam in May 2017, pass and start his next year in Sep 2017 or he can take 2 modules next year extra to those he has done this year, however he will have to pay for these two modules without any loan. If he passes these two modules he can then progress to his next year in Sep 2017.

If you are in a diciplinary at work you are allowed often to have representation or another adult present.

It's also usual and encouraged in health care to have another person there. Not only to remember information, but for support and also we look to them to see if they can help with aftercare.

I don't see why a discussion with a tutor is more confidential than being told you gave cancer or being sacked or giving your medical history.

The whole paying thing is an odd dynamic. You're expected to work for a degree, however there are some people who seem to think that paying the money means that you get the award regardless. 'I've paid my 9k you need to make sure I pass even if I don't turn up to lectures' seems to be the attitude of some.

I'm not referring to the OP here, just general musings:

Universities are becoming increasingly frustrated with parents who think that they can interfere in their children's academic lives. It was practically unheard until about ten years ago, but a couple of friends of mine who work in universities have said it is becoming a real problem.
I guess that is the issue when parents are largely subsidising their offspring the parent(s) feel they have a right to know what they are 'paying' for, and no doubt this will get worse. i think lecturers and universities will have many challenges ahead

No if that is the rules then fine. He will get on with it. He had asked for my support but the uni had said they wouldn't talk with me even if he did give permission.

Yes, to some support for students. I deal with staff underperformance but they are encouraged through HR procedures to have a friend, colleague or union rep present for support.

I do think unis should get their act together in processing resits earlier.

How would that happen? At my university, the summer exams finish in late May/early June, which means the 1st marking, 2nd marking and external examining happens over a very tight timetable so that exam boards can meet in late June to allow students to graduate in July. Until the summer exam board, people don't know if any students have failed thier course, so resit papers are only commissioned in early July. They then have to be signed off by the external examiners, go to the exam office, come back to departments for proof-reading, and go off to be printed. The resit exams take place over 2 weeks in August and the papers then have to be first marked, second marked, and go to the external examiner. Two levels of exam board then have to meet to ratify the marks (the department, then the faculty to make sure that the department is getting it right). Then the university administrators have to input all the final marks. There is no slack whatsoever in the timetable.

It just seems more sensible to discuss together.

It's nothing to do with data protection, surely?!

Have they not attempted to compensate his score? So for example, if the pass mark is 40, 38 would be compensated. If he got 28 then no. It's a fail, but then you have stated he failed by 2%. Has he had a second attempt on the module? Did he fail it? Could he not argue that he can trail the module credit during the year? There are implications of students sharing with him, council tax etc. He is an adult so he needs to make the decision.

Not talking to you is specifically due to the data protection act. I've had parents ring up to see if their children have graduated. I cannot tell them as I do not know if they are estranged, non-contact, loving parents nor any evidence that they actually are the parents just from a call. If the student has given permission, there is no reason for the university not to speak to parents by arrangement via the student. If he has given permission and the PT still refuses, your son can approach the faculty office.

Yes, YABU, sorry! As others have said, your son is an adult and while he may want to consult you before making a decision, it's not appropriate for you to be in a meeting with him. If he is not mature enough to be able to have a discussion with his tutor, he is not mature enough to be at University.
However, I'm a University lecturer and I do want to reassure you we take our responsibilities to our students very seriously and will discuss all options with him. Obviously, students are free to disregard our advice, and this is sometimes the case. However, he wil be informed of all his options and he can then discuss those with you if he wants your advice.
I hope it works out well for him.

My dd only took her resit Friday so no chance of results as yet.

My friends ds had a similar thing where he failed the initial resits but was allowed to take them again the following year. He did have a year at home where he did a lot of independent study around his subject to give him the best chance of passing and he found a job in the relevant subject to give him more of a working knowledge. He thankfully had been going back into halls so didn't have an issue with a flat to sort out.

Makes me slightly annoyed that parents can't talk with the uni as it is a adult child...but financially the parent is supposed to foot the bill.

Off point slightly but if he failed by 2% then he got 38% is that right? Back in my day the minimum to pass was a 40% and that was a Third and an absolute embarrassment so perhaps the real question here is why he can't even scrape by in an exam? Is he on the right course? Has he just not been studying?

I don't see why a discussion with a tutor is more confidential than being told you gave cancer or being sacked or giving your medical history.

It may well be just as sensitive, given the reasons that students often disclose for failing or missing assessments.

Students, in my experience, always have a right to bring someone with them to meetings, but they have to request it. You wouldn't be happy with your GP if your mum decided to turn up at the surgery and the GP agreed to discuss your medical problems without your knowledge or consent; it's exactly the same with exam and disciplinary issues at the universities I know.

But again, the OP's son's tutor will be no use in this situation anyway, so requesting a meeting with them will be a waste of everyone's time.

OP you have my sympathy because although legally your son is an adult, many 'adults' of 19 are quite immature and need parental guidance. You've had a hard time on here when you are just trying to do your best to support your son.

However......I don't understand what you'd hope to achieve by meeting his lecturers. There are 2 clear options - you say- miss a year and start again in 2017, or carry on now and take the 2 failed modules again on top of this year's work. (If that's what you meant.)

The only grey area is if your son could move into his 2nd(?) year when he failed by 2 %. There may be leeway or special circs, but he needs to talk this through with uni. You can support him in this from the wings, but not go in person to talk to the uni.

Both my DCs had important decisions to make around uni (not the same as yours) including illness and re-takes and we were fully supportive / questioning etc but we didn't see any need to meet uni staff- we talked to the DCs so they were equipped to ask the questions.

On a practical level, you need to balance the cost of his rent against the cost of funding the 2 re-take modules (if you are paying for these) and also think hard if he's suited to the course or a fresh start is better. He won't be liable for 12 months' rent I'm sure- if he can terminate his lease and find someone else to take his place that should work.