£9000 per year plus living costs and it is policy for the university tutor not to talk to,parents...am I being too precious?

[MillyDLA]

Just wondered your thoughts. My ds has missed the credits needed to move to his next year at uni, failing one exam by 2%. He has only just been told today that he can't return to uni until Sept 2017. I would have liked to have discussed this and meet with the personal tutor to support my ds in making the right choices. I want him to stop and consider all of his future options. However, even with my ds present the uni have refused any contact. I know my ds is a grown up, but this is a big decision. Added to that are all of the financial implications, student loans, a flat signed for for the whole of next year and future career/change of degree options. Big decisions to make.

I am interested in your thoughts around the lack of contact by the uni.

Thanks

[iloveeverykindofcat]

It was in answer to you asking if Bounty was a counsellor (x-posted with her reply)

[IceBeing]

bounty are you me? How are you feeling about the relentless tide of mental health problems that the UG population are experiencing at the moment?

[user1471428657]

I think bountybarsyuk's post at 11:31 does a really good job of explaining why some of the academics on this thread might be coming across as a bit irritable. Pastoral support is something that many academics are increasingly spending lots of time and energy on (much more than we're "supposed to", according to workload models). Despite it being something we might not have much aptitude or training for. And it's also something which disproportionately falls to women, especially in male dominated science departments.

[FatherJemimaRacktool]

Ice I'm not sure that the levels of MH problems are higher than in the past, but I do think students are getting better about telling people when things start to go wrong, and universities are getting better at supporting them. When I was an undergrad, people never mentioned problems and the structures weren't there to support them, so nothing happened until people had breakdowns or got sectioned or dropped out. Thank god things have improved.

[YellowPrimula]

Those people saying that parents didn't interfere in the old days are being pretty naive I think . In my experience at a fairly traditional 'old'university those parents 'in the know'interfered quite a lot.No such thing as data protection then, several people on my course had parents who regularly rang tutors to discuss 'Rupert' or 'Miranda's' progress.

I certainly knew of students whose parents were monitoring them pretty closely , and funnily enough met up with someone last weekend who admitted that it was all very different visiting universities with his dc . His father apparently rang up the tutor of his old college and pulled a few strings for him( 1982) , I also know that this particular parent definitely pleaded his sons case when he struggled in year1 and failed his exams.

There were also girls at my fairly smart girls'school who got surprising offers from mothers alma mater .

For ordinary first generation students I agree my parents wouldn't have known what a tutor was let alone how to contact them but three most certainly were interfering parents even then !

[IceBeing]

father no, both are happening. There are more mental health problems in younger people AND people are more willing to discuss and address them.

I blame a linear combination of the testing regime in schools and facebook....but mostly the testing regime.

I get students now who have no idea that learning can be a separate process to assessment. Some have no concept of there being more than one valid way to answer a question, no idea of building their own learning, or of studying for any other purpose than to pass exams.

Many of them are totally obsessed with marks and academic success to the point that they say there is nothing in life for them beyond that. That really isn't health mindset to start off from, and the first time they get a poor mark in a test they spiral into chaos.

[FatherJemimaRacktool]

That's really grim.

Thinking about it, another factor, at least in some universities, is that more students are living at home than they used to, which means where there are family pressures or family responsibilites, they will affect the student's MH. We have students who are living at home with a family member with a disability, or with a life-limiting illness, or their own MH problems. We also have students dealing with controlling and/or alcoholic and/or violent family members. If these students were living away from home, the effects on their own physical and mental wellbeing would presumably be different.

[Marynary]

Those people saying that parents didn't interfere in the old days are being pretty naive I think . In my experience at a fairly traditional 'old'university those parents 'in the know'interfered quite a lot.No such thing as data protection then, several people on my course had parents who regularly rang tutors to discuss 'Rupert' or 'Miranda's' progress.

There was "data protection" in the mid 80s as my friend's bank manager found out when he "accidentally" sent her bank statement to her parents!
My parents were certainly "in the know" (my father was a university lecturer) and they wouldn't have dreamed of ringing tutors to discuss my progress. I would have been livid if they had. The fact that you know some "Ruperts" or "Mirandas" whose parents thought it was okay to do that doesn't mean it was the norm or considered acceptable. The same parents might also have phoned their children's employers.

[YellowPrimula]

Absolutely they did Mary , all I am saying is that I think there have always been a minority of parents who thought this was OK to be over involved ,I didn't say I thought it was right .

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

I think it was very, very unusual. I can well believe there were some Oxbridge graduates trying to pull strings to get their offspring into their old colleges, but not much beyond that. I remember vividly a student in the year above me telling everybody that when he came home at the end of his first term his dad asked when his report would arrive - no joke, he seriously thought it was like a continuation of school. We laughed and laughed. That was the very early 80s.

[kath6144]

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g - My DS is going to Uni on Saturday. The mum of one of his friends actually asked her daughter a few months ago when her Uni parents evenings would be!! and this is 2016!

The mum is actually a friend of mine, she is lovely, but very naïve and neither her nor her DH went to Uni. Ironically her DD has decided not to actually go this year.

[PollyPerky]

user1471428657 In reply to your post....

Another poster saying students 'talk to her in her office' could mean she was anything in a university, from a lecturer, to someone working in student welfare, providing any sort of support, from finance to accommodation , a counsellor in the uni, or even an on-campus doctor in a uni health centre.

The term 'office' is a cover-all for any room in a uni unless someone is more specific. I haven't followed that poster's other posts so if she is academic staff, I've not seen her posts saying that.

[Headofthehive55]

ice I think there is more MH problems. Out of my DDs friendship group, just under half are on treatment for such. I think we have created a world where only A grade, a first , at a RG is good enough. No wonder students are depressed.

Even on this thread, the implication is that he student is not capable enough, rather than he is capable but not interested, or has worked very hard but in the wrong areas. Learning is a process, it comes in fits and starts and is not linear. Sometimes some things take longer to learn than others.

[Headofthehive55]

Yet it was not always that parents were not involved.

my mums was in halls in the 1950/60s and her parents had to write to get permission for her to live at home instead of halls. ( they didn't like that in those days! )

[Headofthehive55]

Mum not mums, I have only the one!

[user1471428657]

PollyPerk the way you phrased your question ("are you a uni counsellor?" rather than "in what capacity do you work with students?") belies an underlying assumption that most of the 'talking to students with problems' is done by university counsellors. Unfortunately in reality that's not the case.

[Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g]

Headofthehive55 , that would be because until 1970 the age of majority was 21. Universities were in loco parentis for most of their students.

[PollyPerky]

user1471428657 I'm puzzled why you are making such a 'thing' about this. Of course the poster (who's not picked me up on this herself) could work in any capacity that involves talking to students about their problems. Did you expect me to list them all?

[MillyDLA]

It goes on. An update!

DS had two options. He could take two courses this year to gain more credits. He was told by the senior tutor these would cost him a few hundred pounds. Or he could wait till May and at a cost of £90 could resist the exam he failed. He is two weeks into the two course option.

He has now been told the two course option costs £3000.
He has asked if a student loan would cover this, but doesn't seem to be able to get a definite answer. He can continue, change his loan 'status' and hope he gets the loan. If he doesn't he would have to pay the £3000.
He can drop out of this, pay the £90 and resist next year. He needs to decide by Friday.

He can't pay the £90 as a safeguard until he finds out about the loan and continue with the two courses as the uni can't sign that off . If he continues the two courses, finds he can't have a loan and drops out, he won't be able to do the £90 resit and that will be that. He needs to decide by Friday.

Confused??, so am I. Hundreds of miles away, no idea who to ask at the uni. He has had incorrect information from the senior tutor. He has been to Student Advice and they have advised that it is far too late to get any decision by Friday from Student Loans.

[HollaHolla]

Another Uni person here - I'm an academic registrar at an institution in Scotland (but not RG so obviously not the same one).

I find it unusual that he can't default to the May resit. We do have a rule (as have the other institutions I've worked at - all RG) that you can only get 2 weeks in before you're liable for the course fee. It might be that which is the confusion?

There should be more independent advice on funding available at the student union offices, or even the NUS. Sadly, I'd agree - far too short notice to get info from student loans by Friday.

Good luck

[mathanxiety]

Did he ask the bursar's office or the student accounts office about the cost? (Why did he ask the tutor?)
What office eventually told him the two-course option would cost £3000?

He has asked if a student loan would cover this,
Who is he asking about the student loan?

Who has told him the university can't sign off on a drop out?