should I of phrased this differently?

[lordsteatime]

Dear daughter 18 is going a club tonight with friends and she showed me her outfit.
i said 'its great, but use some tit tape or you might accidentally breastfeed someone'

there was a brief pause and then my neighbours may of heard a rather loud angry scream.

After a thump up the stairs and loud grumbling daughter returned with out fit adjusted.

She still hates me.

Your joke wasn't funny at all.

Not because im a prude who thinks an 18 year old can't hear the word 'breastfeed'. But because it just doesn't work because she can't 'breastfeed' anyone (assuming she hasnt just had a baby!) I know people use hyperbole in jokes, but this was just a crappy attempt, sorry.

Thanks allsfairinlove. My mum was 41 and experienced and the girl was 20ish and it was all new. But everyone has to start somewhere.

When the girl's mum came in to visit she was so happy that someone had helped her daughter but so angry that it had to be another patient and not a nurse. She and my mum joined forces and went on the warpath as only older women can. Titty was probably the least of the expletives they used .

I don't find it offensive, meh.

I'd just laugh if my mum said that to me, wouldn't of bothered me. After all I did ask her opinion so why should I get mad when she gives it?

Definitely could have been worded better

Could be worse I suppose, you could have 'hunned' her too and 'lolled' at the end.

It's not even remotely funny, it's grim.

coldcanary

"People are taking the piss out of the Op's SPAG because it makes them feel superior to someone who used a phrase they didn't like.
I don't smell troll here, just an awful lot of snobbery..."

A "phrase"it is not. Nonsense it certainly is.

It's a horribly personal thing to say. Jeez

some of you should have seen my 21yo outfit yesterday then and clutched pearls to throat, i'm very liberal but i was a bit wtf ! short shorts, a black corset with printed ribs and heart on it torn faux leather jacket and a 'dead man's' style hat ! she was only going to the cinema !! then later crowed on phone to her mate how many wolf whistles and cat calls she got, 'but the bloke in primark got bollied as he was looking at her boobs. .

Awful. Id be mortified if my mum said that and I'm 30

I think the OP posted to show us how hilarious she is.

Ah. Thank you cold and limited. I was looking balefully at the Sellotape wondering how it could possibly'contain' my (ample) bosom. It's for clothes. Relieved and disappointed in equal measure.

Eh?

I'd probably just roll my eyes if my mum said this to be honest. Your daughter was upset by it, just say sorry and move on.

What's a nipple Daisy? I've never heard of those.

I presume tit tape is for the well endowed, so that they don't knock themselves out when dancing or exercising.

The remark by the OP was crude. Some people might have appreciated it, but OP's DD didn't, so OP misjudged it.

My gran used to call her breasts, her "ups". Apparently because when I was about three, I walked in on her getting dressed, gasped and cried out "Grandma! Haven't you got big ups?!?!"

The reaction would suggest dd wasn't expecting that comment, so yes, probably could have worded it better for her but if she was set on wearing that then she probably wouldn't have like it however it was phrased. Personally I found it hilarious. So did my mum when I told her. Maybe we're the weird ones.

Tit tape is for the modestly endowed. Think about it: is Sellotape doing to restrain huge bazooms?

I gasped when I first saw nipple daisies.

I was helping my friend into her dress and the top fell down. I thought she had no nipples. That was wrong of me because it could happen that you didn't have nipples for various reasons. My reaction was involuntary because it looked odd.

She said men didn't like to see erect nipples. Now call me strange...

I can understand why you might not want to display your nipples but they are are normal. Both sexes have them. Sometimes they become erect. Sometimes that's annoying and sometimes that's attractive.

But you said it was just for clothes. So what have the coughs politely size of the bosoms got to do with anything?

Massive sense of humour failure here. If my mother said that, and to be fair it does sound like something she would say, I would have found it hysterical, and we are not 'rough' at all!

I was using stick on nipple hiders and boob keeper uppers 20yrs ago, they are not new.

I never used 'of' instead of 'have' though in my defense.

Yes you could have phrased it better. What is wrong with says 'might need some tape or you might pop out.'

The breastfeeding thing is odd and vaguely creepy. Books aren't just for feeding a baby.